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Author Topic: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?  (Read 923 times)

bluewave193

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Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« on: September 07, 2012, 08:30:08 pm »
So about a week ago, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me. We are now in separate countries in college and he basically said he couldn't stand to apart, so let's just end my.

I do have a few new friends (who are great) and I know school will keep me busy once it gets started but I still feel a hole. I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.

As a music major I would want to learn about a god or goddess of the arts or craft, someone to help me stay on track when practicing and making reads. I am still learning about Druidry, so if anyone could suggest a deity from that spirituality that would be helpful.

Any advise?

(sorry if this looks weird, it was on my phone)

MadZealot

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2012, 08:42:10 pm »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
So about a week ago, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me. We are now in separate countries in college and he basically said he couldn't stand to apart, so let's just end my.

I do have a few new friends (who are great) and I know school will keep me busy once it gets started but I still feel a hole. I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.

As a music major I would want to learn about a god or goddess of the arts or craft, someone to help me stay on track when practicing and making reads. I am still learning about Druidry, so if anyone could suggest a deity from that spirituality that would be helpful.

Any advise?

(sorry if this looks weird, it was on my phone)


Hello.

Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
Is a break-up a valid reason to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?  
The answer to both questions is the same.  
The choice in either case needs to be a healthy one.
Superman is uncircumcised. Change my mind.

Aisling

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2012, 08:55:48 pm »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
So about a week ago, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me. We are now in separate countries in college and he basically said he couldn't stand to apart, so let's just end my.

I do have a few new friends (who are great) and I know school will keep me busy once it gets started but I still feel a hole. I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.

As a music major I would want to learn about a god or goddess of the arts or craft, someone to help me stay on track when practicing and making reads. I am still learning about Druidry, so if anyone could suggest a deity from that spirituality that would be helpful.

Any advise?

(sorry if this looks weird, it was on my phone)

 
(emphasis above is mine)  

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend.

My best advice is this: If the hole in your life is due to the break-up, you might want to just give yourself some time to heal before trying to fill that space again.  

After you've recovered from the break-up, it's probably best not to fill a human-size hole in your life with a god... or fill a god-sized hole with a human being.  Both are a kind of emptiness, but trying to push a square peg into a round hole can cause even more painful than the emptiness.
Into the Grey Mists (Spiritual Blog)

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But once you learn your answers, you can never unlearn them."
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RandallS

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2012, 09:40:00 pm »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
Any advise?

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend breaking up with you. Personally, I don't think a breakup is ever a good reason to do something potential life-changing right away. Decisions made at such a time generally aren't being made under good circumstances and are therefore somewhat less likely to be right for you in the long run.
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Naomi J

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Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2012, 02:44:28 am »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
So about a week ago, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me. We are now in separate countries in college and he basically said he couldn't stand to apart, so let's just end my.

I do have a few new friends (who are great) and I know school will keep me busy once it gets started but I still feel a hole. I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.

As a music major I would want to learn about a god or goddess of the arts or craft, someone to help me stay on track when practicing and making reads. I am still learning about Druidry, so if anyone could suggest a deity from that spirituality that would be helpful.

Any advise?

(sorry if this looks weird, it was on my phone)

Sorry to hear about the breakup. Druidry doesn't have any deities of its own - it's more of a spiritual path than a religion (depending on your perspective). The ancient Druids would have worshipped the Celtic gods, but Neo-Druids worship gods from many pantheons (and none).

I'm not an artistic type, but I do honour Brighid, who is a goddess of poetry and inspiration (among other things).
« Last Edit: September 08, 2012, 02:45:21 am by Naomi J »
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Waldhexe

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2012, 04:35:31 am »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
So about a week ago, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me. We are now in separate countries in college and he basically said he couldn't stand to apart, so let's just end my.

I do have a few new friends (who are great) and I know school will keep me busy once it gets started but I still feel a hole. I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.

As others have said, I don't think a deity can be a surrogate for human companionship, but it's not wrong to look for strengh in religion/spirituality when suffering a loss either - or concentrating on a different 'construction site' of your life for a while. I'd just be careful not to rush into things or decieve myself about my own needs.

Shine

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2012, 09:35:15 am »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923


Any advise?


 
Started replying to this, changed my mind, and now I'm here again.

I turned to the gods to fill holes in my own life. Service to the Netjeru [ancient Egyptian gods]--or what little I can do--has been rewarding and has made me a better person.

HOWEVER. . .

I believe the gods made us social animals so we would love and take care of each other. So I've personally found that, while the Netjeru are wonderful, they don't fill the roles mortals should take for themselves. They generally don't invite you to the movies, or call you on the phone, or send you emails, or gossip with you, etc. And even if they did, it's not the same. It's something to be grateful for, but still not the same. I speak from experience.

The "loneliness" that the gods fill is different from the loneliness we feel when we've broken up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, or have no friends at all.

If your heart is directing you to one deity or another, that's between you and that deity, but don't rush into anything.
Leave your darkness with me, and I will make you shine.

Aster Breo

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Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2012, 09:38:11 am »
Quote from: bluewave193;72923
I don't know if a relationship with a deity would fill that whole but it is worth a shot.


I think it depends on what you mean by "relationship with a deity".  If you're talking about channeling your energy into learning about specific deities, discovering ways you might want to worship, and developing a practice, then it might be something that could help you through a rough time and give you a focus other than your former boyfriend.

But if you're talking about asking a deity to fill the same kind of role in your life that your boyfriend filled, I think that's unrealistic and potentially disastrous.

For most people (as I understand it) and certainly for me, it takes a long time (months, years) to develop a personal relationship with a deity -- IF it happens at all.  That kind of relationship with deity goes through stages just like human relationships do:  maybe you meet someone at a party, have a good conversation, exchange email addresses, write back and forth for a while, go out on a date, discover you have some common interests, go out on more dates, etc., until you eventually develop a more serious relationship.  That doesn't happen overnight.

With a deity, you might feel drawn to a particular one and decide to learn more about His/Her home culture, start to make offerings, set up an altar, do regular devotions, etc.  That takes time, too.  And, just like with a human, you might discover that you just don't really connect with that deity.  And, even if you do feel a connection, you might or might not receive clear attention in return from the deity (a phenomenon we TCers sometimes call "being thwapped").  

Despite the rather large proportion of people here who have personal relationships with deities, that's actually not really that common.  Nor is it necessary.  Or even always a good thing.  

I know it's very difficult to experience the end of a relationship. And it can mess with your head.  I'm sorry you're going through a break-up.

I don't think there's anything wrong with using this time to explore your spirituality, learn about deities new to you, and develop new aspects of your practice.  But I'd caution you to take your time with deities themselves.  I don't think it's generally a good idea to rush into commitments, whether to a deity or a human.

Give yourself time to grieve and to heal.

Just my $0.02.

~ Aster
"The status is not quo."  ~ Dr. Horrible

Jabberwocky

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Re: Is a break up a valid reason to start worshiping deities?
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2012, 10:15:22 am »
Quote from: Aster Breo;72970
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with using this time to explore your spirituality, learn about deities new to you, and develop new aspects of your practice.  But I'd caution you to take your time with deities themselves.  I don't think it's generally a good idea to rush into commitments, whether to a deity or a human.
That's pretty much what I was going to say.

Using this to launch yourself into researching deities, spirituality etc. is a good idea I think.  Apart from anything else, keeping yourself busy after a break-up is normally a good tack to take.  Especially something like this which is very much personal to you as an individual.

But I wouldn't go as far as having a rebound relationship with a deity, which is what you seem to be looking at.

It's worth remembering that, when you're studying, holidays are weird anyway in terms of having far too much time not doing anything specific, which leaves you far too much time with your own thoughts and lots of unfocused pent-up energy. I know I'm pretty much bouncing off the walls at the moment.
Your heart is a muscle as big as your fist.

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