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Author Topic: Hearing the call from someone  (Read 1356 times)

Iseethesky

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Hearing the call from someone
« on: February 23, 2015, 06:23:56 pm »
First of all I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this post and your thoughts are appreciated! I will try to be as to the point as possible.
As a quick backstory, my three siblings and I grew up in a very protective household. My mother was and still is today a devout Christian woman, and although I admired the moral teachings that came from the bible, no matter how much I tried I could not gain a connection to the Holy Spirit as my mother and siblings seemingly could.
Around 10-12 years old I was enduring spiritual conflict between respecting my Christian roots and attempting to connect to an entity I called Azrael. In my younger years, from six onward, I had what my mother thought was an abnormal fascination with the afterlife and the Angel of Death. I was very drawn to the paranormal and ghosts. It was very magical to me.
Before I was a teenager I began so perform small dedications to the Death Energy and spent much of my time reading about seeing apparitions of my spiritual guide, who I believed was Death. I would carry amethyst with me in hopes it would keep me close to him. On my birthday I would always ask my mom to drive us to nearby cemeteries to explore. It was during those times I felt a rustling in my spirit the most.
The topic of Paganism was brief in my home, my mother wasn't of great understanding of the path and believed what she always has, that it was of the devil (now that I am older she has become much more open in her heart about these topics) and it wasn't until I had access to the Internet that I began to read about it. I was drawn to the new age sections at book stores but was reluctant to pick up the books because I was unsure if they were evil, that was what I had been taught. The pagan path always stood out above others to me, though I did not begin taking active interest until my atheist stage as a teenager subsided. Although even through those years I still collected crystals as they were comforting.
Recently I have moved to live in the Rocky Mountains from my homeland in Missouri. In a strange way, maybe it's the energy coming out of this land, it almost feels like my spirit has been activated again and stirs up when I begin showing interest in the Pagan path. And the being I knew as Azrael and the interest I've always had of him still lingers in my heart.
As I step forward and begin attaining knowledge on the spiritual path I believe I have been called to follow, is the death energy showing interest in me and is calling me to practice under him? And if so, how do I find a way to truly identify him so that I can research him and be closer to him?

Fier

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Re: Hearing the call from someone...
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2015, 07:12:29 pm »
Quote from: Iseethesky;171545
And if so, how do I find a way to truly identify him so that I can research him and be closer to him?

 
The only advice I can really give is that the name may not matter all that much. There's no reason you can't continue to call him Azrael. If that's what you've called him all these years and he responds, what does it matter? Develop a relationship with him by communicating with him. You can still research different gods and spirits of death. See which qualities and stories give you that feeling of awakening, and start there.

Sage

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Re: Hearing the call from someone...
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2015, 10:01:07 pm »
Quote from: FierFlye;171551
The only advice I can really give is that the name may not matter all that much. There's no reason you can't continue to call him Azrael. If that's what you've called him all these years and he responds, what does it matter? Develop a relationship with him by communicating with him. You can still research different gods and spirits of death. See which qualities and stories give you that feeling of awakening, and start there.

 
This is really good general advice. There are plenty of options for spiritual exploration and plenty of time to find the answers. I would add that it's a really good idea to document what you do as you explore; I wish I'd kept a journal more regularly over the years because I feel like I wouldn't have made nearly so many boneheaded mistakes.
Maker, though the darkness comes upon me,
I shall embrace the light. I shall weather the storm.
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What you have created, no one can tear asunder.

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Iseethesky

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Re: Hearing the call from someone...
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2015, 06:13:05 pm »
Thank you so much for the advice. I used to have such trouble finding where to begin when practicing communication with entities, but recent days have shown that a light has been turned on inside of me. And I believe Azrael has been sitting there quietly watching until I found the switch.

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Re: Hearing the call from someone...
« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2015, 02:19:26 am »
Quote from: Iseethesky;171670


 
A Reminder:
Hi, Iseethesky.

Just a quick note:  Please remember to quote, even if you're just  replying to the first message in the thread.  It makes the discussion  easier to follow, and it's required by  our  rules. (If you're using tapatalk on a phone, please hold your finger down on the message you wish to reply to until the quote function pops up.)

It looks like you might have been thinking of this as a 'general reply', so maybe a bit of clarification on that is in order. A general reply, as the term is used on TC, is actually quite rare, and would only apply if there was no one post you could quote and have your reply make sense. For example, over in your intro thread, not quoting made sense because you were posting only to thank those who had welcomed you. But in this case, the content of your post is a response to what FierFlye said, so that's what you should have quoted (it's completely okay to only quote one person to whom you're making a more substantial reply, while also thanking all of those who've given advice).

This isn't a formal warning, just a reminder.  No  reply is necessary, but if you have questions or need clarification,  please feel free to contact a member of staff privately.

Thanks!
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