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Author Topic: Deity and guilt  (Read 932 times)

Fireof9

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Deity and guilt
« on: March 14, 2013, 12:40:53 am »
I consider myself a pretty hard polytheist (with a bit of a few other philosophies thrown in) but I have found myself in a situation as of late that has me a little confused.

I have for a time now had a great relationship with one goddess. It is warm, there is love, its very fulfilling.

But a short time ago another came along making it quite clear there were some lessons to be taught, some things to be done, and quite frankly these are things that I really need to learn and to do. I was thrilled by the prospect and good to go.

But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.
Really?  So, hey, want to go fishing?  I\'ve got a telescope, and it\'s going to be a dark night, so we should see the fish really well.
...what, I\'m not talking about fishing?  That\'s stargazing?  It\'s all doing-stuff, so it\'s the same thing, right?
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Dark Waters

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2013, 01:46:19 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
I consider myself a pretty hard polytheist (with a bit of a few other philosophies thrown in) but I have found myself in a situation as of late that has me a little confused.

I have for a time now had a great relationship with one goddess. It is warm, there is love, its very fulfilling.

But a short time ago another came along making it quite clear there were some lessons to be taught, some things to be done, and quite frankly these are things that I really need to learn and to do. I was thrilled by the prospect and good to go.

But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
Relationship with a deity can be just as binding (or more) than one with a lover. The guilt may come from the suspicion you may be neglecting part of your relationship with the first goddess. Whether this is true or not is something only you can answer.

However, I would try and commune with the first goddess and see if it bothers her that you are learning/spending time with the second one. It might not, and she even might encourage it. Then again, not knowing which goddesses they are - there may be more than a few sparks about it too.

Only by trying to "talk" with both, expressing your feelings and concerns, can you figure out what to do. If the first is bothered by the second, there may be another that can teach those "missing lessons" without as much conflict.

Whichever way it goes, I wish you well.
I\'m living in the Shadows and the Night, wrapped in warm darkness, safe and sure.
My Path shines by the Moon\'s fragile light, it frees my Mind and keeps my Heart pure.

Lokabrenna

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2013, 02:33:41 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
My feeling is that if your first deity wasn't okay with it, she would let you know, loudly and clearly. But if it would help, you could ask her, and if she tells you she's cool with it, then it's okay, you're cool.

From what I understand, deities sometimes pass people off to other deities because they need to learn something, and sometimes the new deity stays on but most of the time the first deity takes the person back, because they've learned what they needed to learn from the second deity. It's normal.

I do kind of know how you feel, it does seem like I'm being pulled in another direction as of late, but no one seems to mind (in fact, I think they're actually encouraging it).

Rhyshadow

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2013, 06:01:45 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211

But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
Sometimes the one (or two in my case) that you normally work with can't teach you something that you need to know. So they call on someone else to come in and give you that lesson.

It's happened a number of times with me, it's not cheating but getting information from another source. As Loka said, if your prime had a problem with it, she'd let you know in no uncertain terms. As she seems quiet on the subject, I'd say she either has no problem or called the other in herself.

Don't worry it and just let it happen

Heliocoptero

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2013, 08:22:40 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.


That might be it. We're raised in a culture where the prevailing speech on religion is that of a zero-sum game. And it's not easy to mentally break with that.

Unless They're two goddesses that don't get along, I'd say there's no problem. If you wish, you can create regular devotionals to maintain your relationship with the first deity: pick a weekly or monthly day to worship Her, write a morning prayer that stresses how important She's to you, etc. That way, even as you deal with other goddesses, you uphold the importance of the first one to you.

That said, and as others have mentioned, sometime gods "lend" you so you can learn new things. And sometimes your life changes in a such way that They pass you on to other deities who have more to do with your current state of things.

Shine

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2013, 10:58:11 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
Is your "main" goddess okay with it? If so, then you don't have to feel guilty. Like someone else said, there times where only other deities can teach you lessons you need to learn. Your "main" will pass you around if necessary--even over pantheon lines.

I've felt a lot of guilt in trying to navigate squishy polytheism. Every time a new deity stopped by, or I tried to worship a new deity, I felt like I was somehow cheapening my relationship with Bast. Like she wasn't getting the attention she deserved. Also, I somehow felt like, if I worshipped too many other gods, Bast would. . . go away, I guess. As if we would drift apart.

But I've since learned that Bast is Home, and you can carry Home wherever you go. Home doesn't stop being what it is just because you go somewhere else for awhile to learn important lessons.

It could come from leftovers of an upbringing in a monotheism. It depends on how deeply entrenched you were in the beliefs before you left. If you were already on the fence about it all, I don't think that's necessarily where the guilt comes from. If you were deep into your beliefs until the few months before your departure, then perhaps there's a bit of guilt threaded in the folds of your brain.

What helped me was to set up devotions to Bast that would happen at least once a day (preferably twice) whether I had two deities on my shrine line up or a 1000. That way, no matter what, I always had a familiar point of reference.

It also helped to write out why I felt guilty. When I uncovered the guilt, I uncovered a lot of insecurity. When I dug deeper, I found a deep-seated fear of abandonment that came not just from a previous religion, but also from bad experiences with so-called family and friends.

If you have a guilt that you can't seem to shake, then you might probe deeper to see if there's another problem masked as that guilt.
Leave your darkness with me, and I will make you shine.

Cannaid

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2013, 12:23:17 pm »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
I used to feel guilty.  That is until I began to understand the concept of fostering from an Irish perspective.  I am a daughter of Bride but regularly find myself in the care of another.  Once I came to realize that this was simply a fostering situation I began to relax.  I am now settled with the relationships and look forward to the next adventure.
...Kindness First and In All Things...

Fireof9

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2013, 10:07:23 pm »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
..

 
Thanks everyone for your insights. Its good to know I am not the only one that has felt like this.

I think the fact that it is cross pantheon is kind of a bit of the issue for me. One is Celtic, one is Nordic. While I have always honoured both as they are my heritage, I have never developed any real kind of relationship with any of the Nordic other than a prayer here or there.

It seems though that all is well, today I seemed to get some what I took to be some pretty overwhelming indications that my Irish deity is not at all bothered by it.
Really?  So, hey, want to go fishing?  I\'ve got a telescope, and it\'s going to be a dark night, so we should see the fish really well.
...what, I\'m not talking about fishing?  That\'s stargazing?  It\'s all doing-stuff, so it\'s the same thing, right?
-HeartShadow
 
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery,Today is a gift,thats why the call it the present - Master Oogway

Finding the Owl -my blog
The Gwyddonic Order

Asch

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2013, 02:26:09 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101366
Thanks everyone for your insights. Its good to know I am not the only one that has felt like this.

I think the fact that it is cross pantheon is kind of a bit of the issue for me. One is Celtic, one is Nordic. While I have always honoured both as they are my heritage, I have never developed any real kind of relationship with any of the Nordic other than a prayer here or there.

It seems though that all is well, today I seemed to get some what I took to be some pretty overwhelming indications that my Irish deity is not at all bothered by it.

 
There's a pretty juicy amount of interaction between the two origin cultures there so it shouldn't be 'taboo' or whatnot.

PhantomQueen

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Re: Deity and guilt
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2013, 10:59:20 am »
Quote from: Fireof9;101211
I consider myself a pretty hard polytheist (with a bit of a few other philosophies thrown in) but I have found myself in a situation as of late that has me a little confused.

I have for a time now had a great relationship with one goddess. It is warm, there is love, its very fulfilling.

But a short time ago another came along making it quite clear there were some lessons to be taught, some things to be done, and quite frankly these are things that I really need to learn and to do. I was thrilled by the prospect and good to go.

But now I find myself feeling guilty........ kinda like I am cheating on the other one.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is this just a leftover of my upbringing of "there is only one God"? Any advise or ideas are welcome.

 
At first, when I just knew Brighid, I had the same feelings when Morrigan came around.  After a few slaps on the head from Morrigan, I let Her in.  I just made sure to spend equal time with both, whether it be rearranging my schedule fo that one would get this day and the other would get another day, kind of thing.  Like previously posted, it was a fostering situation.  Neither deity minded as they complimented each other.  Now it's more like I'm with the one for awhile then all of a sudden (to me), the other one nudges in to say 'It's my turn!'  It seems to be the change of seasons that I get the change of 'Teacher'...  I've had a couple other deities come through for a short while but they've left.  I've learned from them but I've always come back to these two.

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