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Author Topic: Mirror of Admiration  (Read 2477 times)

HeartShadow

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Mirror of Admiration
« on: March 31, 2014, 04:14:21 pm »
We all like to see the best in a possible upcoming situation.  We want to believe things will be well, that we will find what we're looking for.  When our desires warp our reality, though, we are looking through the mirror of admiration.

What are the characteristics of this mirror?  Exaggerated positives.  The phrase “it's different this time” is used.  The constant, chronic belief that the problem is in being let down, not in expectations.

Of course we go into things with positive expectations.  It's when we refuse to see the reality in front of us in favor of the hopes we have that we get ourselves into trouble.  We all know the person that dates bad prospect after bad prospect, horribly in love until they suddenly realize the person they're in love with doesn't exist.  Rinse, repeat.  We see this most often in romance, but it happens everywhere.

Why is this a problem?  It sets everything up for failure.  Artificially high expectations cannot be met.  If the person tries, they will exhaust themselves and then fail.  More often, though, they either do not know or care about the false expectations, leaving the original person feeling betrayed.

Between individuals this is bad enough.  But the thing about mirrors and flames is that distortions magnify.  We expect, we anticipate, and we warp the flames of those around us in a self-indulgent bubble of constant betrayal and heartbreak.  One person's deliberate blindness is a family's pain as they watch a loved one get hurt in the same way repeatedly.  It is not a victimless problem.  It is individual, yes, but not alone.

We all have this mirror, to some extent.  We need it to protect ourselves from the fear of heartbreak, from rejection, from failure.  But there is a difference between a positive attitude and a refusal to see.  There is a difference between hope and the mirror of admiration.

Prompt: What do you refuse to see?  Why?  What has it cost you?  What has this mirror cost those around you?  How does it cause distortions?

TheElegantShadow

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Re: Mirror of Admiration
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2014, 08:11:58 am »
Quote from: HeartShadow;144132
We all like to see the best in a possible upcoming situation.  We want to believe things will be well, that we will find what we're looking for.  When our desires warp our reality, though, we are looking through the mirror of admiration.

What are the characteristics of this mirror?  Exaggerated positives.  The phrase “it's different this time” is used.  The constant, chronic belief that the problem is in being let down, not in expectations.

Of course we go into things with positive expectations.  It's when we refuse to see the reality in front of us in favor of the hopes we have that we get ourselves into trouble.  We all know the person that dates bad prospect after bad prospect, horribly in love until they suddenly realize the person they're in love with doesn't exist.  Rinse, repeat.  We see this most often in romance, but it happens everywhere.

Why is this a problem?  It sets everything up for failure.  Artificially high expectations cannot be met.  If the person tries, they will exhaust themselves and then fail.  More often, though, they either do not know or care about the false expectations, leaving the original person feeling betrayed.

Between individuals this is bad enough.  But the thing about mirrors and flames is that distortions magnify.  We expect, we anticipate, and we warp the flames of those around us in a self-indulgent bubble of constant betrayal and heartbreak.  One person's deliberate blindness is a family's pain as they watch a loved one get hurt in the same way repeatedly.  It is not a victimless problem.  It is individual, yes, but not alone.

We all have this mirror, to some extent.  We need it to protect ourselves from the fear of heartbreak, from rejection, from failure.  But there is a difference between a positive attitude and a refusal to see.  There is a difference between hope and the mirror of admiration.

Prompt: What do you refuse to see?  Why?  What has it cost you?  What has this mirror cost those around you?  How does it cause distortions?

 
(I'm not sure if I'm supposed to reply to this, but here goes something:)

Well, my mirror tends to blind me more to bonds with other people. In a way, I've gotten bad vibes from some people, but still make an effort to associate myself with them, having the mindset of, "they're not so bad," turns out, in both cases I did that, I was completely wrong. There's always grey there, but those experiences truly did darken my outlook and sent me tumbling back down into depression.

I used to also blind myself with a self imposed image of sainthood, which became a very annoying habit of mind, to the point that I'd take outrageous amounts of idiocy from other people, thinking, "I don't want them to think badly of me," and even blaming myself on altercations that otherwise weren't my fault, but more just circumstance.

Hmm... In all honesty, my outlook is usually quite grey, with some exceptions, not only that, but when it do tip into a pool of color, it tends to come out as a darker shade, more often than not. I suppose that I have a very noticeable, yet small mirror of Admiration.
"Remember that a question is not a challenge to you as a person, but merely a request for information." I need to remind myself of this, at times. XD

HeartShadow

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Re: Mirror of Admiration
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2014, 10:05:18 am »
Quote from: TheElegantShadow;156224
(I'm not sure if I'm supposed to reply to this, but here goes something:)

 
Replies are always welcome! :)  The goal, of course, is to make people THINK about these things - because we all have these mirrors, of some size and in some places.

I'm glad you found it interesting!

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