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Author Topic: Family: Who is in charge of the home and the family?  (Read 2326 times)

dlnewhouse

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Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« on: November 21, 2016, 08:50:33 pm »
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?
« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 01:13:54 pm by RandallS »
Daniel L Newhouse

HarpingHawke

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2016, 08:58:20 pm »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?

 
Could you maybe elaborate on that, please? I have no idea how to answer your question.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

AsraiDouglas

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2016, 09:39:07 pm »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?

 
Ideally...none? Sure, it's tough having a democracy if you only have two people, but the filibustering gets real intense.

Jack

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2016, 11:48:17 pm »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?

 
In our household, my spouse and I agree that Mara is the primary deity of hearth and home. The kitchen wights and serpents and the ward-birds all seem to answer to her, or at least to work with her. Brigid-Brhenti and Mother Loki both have hearth associations as well, and Guan Yu and the dragons and gargoyles guard the doorways specifically, but in general it seems they work together. Fortunately, we don't have much disagreement between us - my spouse doesn't work with Mother Loki, but that doesn't seem to affect much, and I don't work with Aslan but I know to some extent the house and family are also under his protection. The things we do separately always seem to be underneath the umbrella of Mara's patronage, however.
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MeadowRae

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2016, 09:32:12 am »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?

 
I am a single mom, so it's a dictatorship. :D:

In my relationships, I am usually the one who makes decisions, with the exception of my recent ex who decided to take the control himself even though he was far less qualified. I think I have a problem with being "unequally yoked" if you know what I mean.

Ideally, I would like a partnership. You can't realistically talk about every single little thing, but having a general understanding of each others' goals, time constraints, responsibilities, etc. makes a world of difference for collaboration.

Also, I would like a partner that can both best me in an argument and lose an argument gracefully.
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Emma Eldritch

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2016, 02:06:45 am »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?

 
You probably shouldn't let the kids make the rules. Laundry would never get done.

Kylara

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2016, 12:42:49 pm »
Quote from: Mama Fortuna;199417
You probably shouldn't let the kids make the rules. Laundry would never get done.

 
That depends on how they interpret that...if they make the rules they could make a rule that says you have to do it all!  Of course my son has been doing his own laundry since he was in grade school.

Hubby and I mostly share decision making.  If I had to pick a 'sphere of influence' for each of us though, he makes sure there is enough money and that bills get paid on time (though I physically pay the bills), while I make sure the household runs on time, dinner is on the table and we all get where we need to go (school activities, sharing the one car..etc)
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Emma Eldritch

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2016, 12:47:16 pm »
Quote from: Kylara;199426
That depends on how they interpret that...if they make the rules they could make a rule that says you have to do it all!  Of course my son has been doing his own laundry since he was in grade school.

Hubby and I mostly share decision making.  If I had to pick a 'sphere of influence' for each of us though, he makes sure there is enough money and that bills get paid on time (though I physically pay the bills), while I make sure the household runs on time, dinner is on the table and we all get where we need to go (school activities, sharing the one car..etc)

 
I'm gonna have to defer to you on this one since you actually have a kid! XD I only like them from a far, far distance.

But both spheres are equally important!

Chatelaine

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2016, 02:42:58 pm »
Quote from: MerlynKing;199283
What is the hierarchy of power in the family?  An interfaith discussion?


I live with my dad, stepmum and little half-brother. Both parental units bring in money, maintain a joint expenses account for all the standing bills, and both share in the housework, especially since he has very regular hours and 13 weeks off a year, while she works rolling shifts with no guaranteed days off even for holidays. Nothing gets decided unless they both agree to it. They even sit down every Sunday and plan the menu for the week ahead. I can certainly understand why they leave nothing to chance.

I don't contribute money, as I'm not earning any yet, but I do all my own housework and help with the little one whenever necessary, whether it's cleaning up after him, overseeing his homework or simply staying home with him so his parents can go out of an evening. We're rather like the proverbial village.
'You created us restless, O Lord, and we find no rest until we rest in You.'
~St Augustine~
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mandrina

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Re: Who is in charge of the home and the family?
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2016, 05:42:04 pm »
Quote from: Chatelaine;199429
.


I'm a widow, with a teenager and 3 adult children, all living with me.  When I was married, we were a unit and we worked together.  Now it is a benevolent dictatorship, with limits.  The two older kids are in college, pay their own school, phone and car expenses, and contribute chores to the household.  #3 belongs to uncle Sam for a couple more months, then he too will get a partime job, pay his own school, car, and phone expenses and contribute chores.  Teen does chores.  If there is a decision, they get input, but I couldn't tell my older daughter when to be home or not to get a tattoo, just make sure the laundry is done and her bills are paid and communicate so if something needs to be group, she's involved and I have a clue where she is and when she is likely to be home so I don't lock her out.
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