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Author Topic: Family: Relationship Help  (Read 1298 times)

GildedDragon1100

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Relationship Help
« on: January 21, 2019, 11:55:17 am »
Hello, this is my first post here. I was introduced to the world of magic and energies through my last girlfriend who was incredibly sensitive to the energies around her. A bit of background, I am most aligned with the Earth Element, I was born on the Year of the Dragon, and I am an Aquarius.

Back to the point of this post, I myself am not sensitive at all to the energies around me. Although I apparently have a good ability at healing others through touch. I just recently got into a new relationship (about 2 months ago), it's been mostly online, I've met her once in real life and that pretty much solidified our relationship, but it made it harder to be away from each other.

While I was at work the other day, I had a feeling in my hands, as though everything I was touching felt really cold, it only lasted for a few seconds. I know myself that I require physical and personal intimacy. Was what I was feeling in my hands at all related to my current girlfriend? When I'm with her I feel happy, secure, and loved. When I'm away from her for long periods of time 2 weeks or more, I start to get weird feelings like what happened to me at work. She did however give me a item of hers to hold when she's not there, it does help a little bit, but only when I hold it.

[Edited to add white space - SP]
« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 01:08:51 pm by RandallS »

Ashmire

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Re: Relationship Help
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2019, 12:09:05 pm »
Hello, this is my first post here. I was introduced to the world of magic and energies through my last girlfriend who was incredibly sensitive to the energies around her. A bit of background, I am most aligned with the Earth Element, I was born on the Year of the Dragon, and I am an Aquarius. Back to the point of this post, I myself am not sensitive at all to the energies around me. Although I apparently have a good ability at healing others through touch. I just recently got into a new relationship (about 2 months ago), it's been mostly online, I've met her once in real life and that pretty much solidified our relationship, but it made it harder to be away from each other. While I was at work the other day, I had a feeling in my hands, as though everything I was touching felt really cold, it only lasted for a few seconds. I know myself that I require physical and personal intimacy. Was what I was feeling in my hands at all related to my current girlfriend? When I'm with her I feel happy, secure, and loved. When I'm away from her for long periods of time 2 weeks or more, I start to get weird feelings like what happened to me at work. She did however give me a item of hers to hold when she's not there, it does help a little bit, but only when I hold it.

Well, you probably want to check for mundane illnesses before jumping to a spiritual conclusion, though I'm certainly not one to rule out the latter entirely.  Poor ergonomics at work can definitely lead to the symptoms you describe and are *very* common in the modern day workplace. 

Anxiety ( and it is possible to notice physical symptoms of anxiety without properly recognizing the emotion) can do it also, which having something comforting to hold would certainly help with. 

It certainly wouldn't be unusual to develop anxiety in response to separation and loneliness.

SunflowerP

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Re: Relationship Help
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2019, 08:20:42 pm »

A Reminder:
Hi, GildedDragon1100,

Welcome to TC!

We don't mind long posts here, but to avoid having a hard-to-read wall-o'-text, hitting "enter" twice every few lines adds some white space and makes it easier to follow - I've edited yours to add those breaks, but it's a really good habit to get into yourself.

They don't have to be the "proper" place for paragraph breaks (we're interested in readability more than technicalities), or a complete change of thought - some thoughts take a lot of lines and need to be broken up into sub-thoughts - as long as they're there.

This isn't a formal warning, just a reminder. No reply is necessary, but if you have questions or need clarification,  please feel free to contact a member of staff privately.

Thanks!
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Jenett

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Re: Relationship Help
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2019, 10:58:31 am »
First, I agree with Ashmire's comment about double checking about any mundane physical causes - always a good idea.

In terms of elements, I believe that astrology suggests things but doesn't necessarily dictate. Instead, we should be seeking and working for a reasonable balance between them. I mention this because it may give you some useful places to start thinking about alternate options.

Back to the point of this post, I myself am not sensitive at all to the energies around me. Although I apparently have a good ability at healing others through touch. I just recently got into a new relationship (about 2 months ago), it's been mostly online, I've met her once in real life and that pretty much solidified our relationship, but it made it harder to be away from each other.

Long distance relationships are really hard, especially when they're new. The successful ones generally find ways to stay in touch, and connected, but also to have a sense of independence (honestly, this is a good plan in local relationships, too, because the other person or people are always going to have other stuff they need/want to do.)

Quote
While I was at work the other day, I had a feeling in my hands, as though everything I was touching felt really cold, it only lasted for a few seconds. I know myself that I require physical and personal intimacy. Was what I was feeling in my hands at all related to my current girlfriend? When I'm with her I feel happy, secure, and loved. When I'm away from her for long periods of time 2 weeks or more, I start to get weird feelings like what happened to me at work. She did however give me a item of hers to hold when she's not there, it does help a little bit, but only when I hold it.

There's a lot of possible things here. My first question is what your personal energy work is like. Do you have a practice that includes centering, grounding, and shielding? (Links are to my website, and you'll find some other useful resources on the Doing page.)

That's usually my first recommendation for anyone describing things like you have here. If that's not the problem, it won't hurt anything. (Think of it like a daily shower or brushing your teeth is for your body: good routine maintenance.) A daily meditation practice for mindfulness will do many of the same things, except the shielding aspect.

Centering, in particular, as I use the term, is about figuring out what's you, and what's not you. It's possible this was your connection to your girlfriend (though that seems fairly unlikely for a relatively new relationship without a lot of physical time together: you may instead be reacting to the newness of the relationship itself, not funnelling your girlfriend's reactions through you.) Have you asked her if anything unusual happened to her at that time? If not, it might be useful for both of you to keep a record of unusual events, and be able to compare them a day later.

In general, basing your happiness and well-being solely in another person is not a long-term sustainable solution. (Relationships can and should make you happy, but you shouldn't be relying on that person for your well-being. All sorts of things can happen - they might get sick, they might be busy with something important, even if the relationship is continuing.) Even when things are going really well, that kind of uncontrolled feedback loop can be hard on you (and her!). 
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