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Author Topic: Rant & advice?  (Read 1618 times)

tiffalee

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Rant & advice?
« on: September 03, 2012, 06:01:20 pm »
I'm having trouble with my roommate. And of course, my roommate is my father (who was absent until I was 15, so he's not much of a dad to me :/ ) He's supposed to stay with us for a few months until his section8 comes in, as he's disabled (which I think is BS in his case but it is what it is) and would have trouble (not health-wise) to live on his own. He has no car, won't work, and I'm at the end of my wits dealing with the man - he acts like we are unfit parents, eats 50% of the food even if he didn't buy it... Literally snatches our child from us if he thinks something needs to be done. He won't back down no matter how much you politely hint at it (I can't stand up to the man, but my husband will, I'm a wuss :( ) Most of the time, I just feel like I'm being bitchy and he's not that bad, but my husband's to the last straw as my dad targets him, making him seem like a totally unfit father and saying he eats all the food, etc... I just don't know how to deal with him. I can't stand up to him, and we're working on building a plan for when he's being kicked out, probably 30-60 days notice, helping find a place for him and such... But he will spread it around our family how we're bad people, throwing him out on the street with nothing, etc, to lash out (he's done it before), and I can't deal with that.

So... not much point as I'm just lost as to what to do.

Thanks for reading and advice is welcome. Am I just being bitchy about it?

~Tiffa
« Last Edit: September 03, 2012, 06:02:48 pm by tiffalee »

stephyjh

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Re: Rant & advice?
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2012, 08:33:41 pm »
Quote from: tiffalee;72201
I'm having trouble with my roommate. And of course, my roommate is my father (who was absent until I was 15, so he's not much of a dad to me :/ ) He's supposed to stay with us for a few months until his section8 comes in, as he's disabled (which I think is BS in his case but it is what it is) and would have trouble (not health-wise) to live on his own. He has no car, won't work, and I'm at the end of my wits dealing with the man - he acts like we are unfit parents, eats 50% of the food even if he didn't buy it... Literally snatches our child from us if he thinks something needs to be done. He won't back down no matter how much you politely hint at it (I can't stand up to the man, but my husband will, I'm a wuss :( ) Most of the time, I just feel like I'm being bitchy and he's not that bad, but my husband's to the last straw as my dad targets him, making him seem like a totally unfit father and saying he eats all the food, etc... I just don't know how to deal with him. I can't stand up to him, and we're working on building a plan for when he's being kicked out, probably 30-60 days notice, helping find a place for him and such... But he will spread it around our family how we're bad people, throwing him out on the street with nothing, etc, to lash out (he's done it before), and I can't deal with that.

So... not much point as I'm just lost as to what to do.

Thanks for reading and advice is welcome. Am I just being bitchy about it?

~Tiffa

 
He sounds a lot like my dad, who still tells the tale of how my mother threw him out with nothing (he took the bed, the towels, the frakking TOILET PAPER, all the food, everything, and I had to bring her groceries when he left) and with nowhere to go (even though I had my own place, with an extra bedroom, when they split, and offered to let him stay with me until he found his feet). No, you're not just being bitchy. Living with a self-centered pain in the ass is HARD, especially when he's not contributing anything and you don't feel comfortable having the "get off your dead ass and do something productive or GTFO" conversation with him.
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

MadZealot

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Re: Rant & advice?
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2012, 08:49:05 pm »
Quote from: tiffalee;72201
I'm having trouble with my roommate. And of course, my roommate is my father (who was absent until I was 15

 Am I just being bitchy about it?

~Tiffa


No you're not being bitchy.  Throw him out.  For your hubby's sake as well as your own.
Spider Man 3 never happened. And Epstein didn't kill himself.

Laveth

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Re: Rant & advice?
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2012, 11:01:32 pm »
Quote from: tiffalee;72201
I'm having trouble with my roommate. And of course, my roommate is my father (who was absent until I was 15, so he's not much of a dad to me :/ ) He's supposed to stay with us for a few months until his section8 comes in, as he's disabled (which I think is BS in his case but it is what it is) and would have trouble (not health-wise) to live on his own. He has no car, won't work, and I'm at the end of my wits dealing with the man - he acts like we are unfit parents, eats 50% of the food even if he didn't buy it... Literally snatches our child from us if he thinks something needs to be done. He won't back down no matter how much you politely hint at it (I can't stand up to the man, but my husband will, I'm a wuss :( ) Most of the time, I just feel like I'm being bitchy and he's not that bad, but my husband's to the last straw as my dad targets him, making him seem like a totally unfit father and saying he eats all the food, etc... I just don't know how to deal with him. I can't stand up to him, and we're working on building a plan for when he's being kicked out, probably 30-60 days notice, helping find a place for him and such... But he will spread it around our family how we're bad people, throwing him out on the street with nothing, etc, to lash out (he's done it before), and I can't deal with that.

So... not much point as I'm just lost as to what to do.

Thanks for reading and advice is welcome. Am I just being bitchy about it?

~Tiffa

 

He's a grown man, it's not your responsibility to take care of your father. It should be the other way around...

Don't let his comments get under your skin, it's not your fault he's a pain. :) Change is a constant, it will end.

tiffalee

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Re: Rant & advice?
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2012, 04:03:35 pm »
Quote from: MadZealot;72231
No you're not being bitchy.  Throw him out.  For your hubby's sake as well as your own.

 
Well, we didn't want to openly say GTFO or anything so last night we sat down and asked how his Section 8 thing is going, told him to call... Pretty much told him we're moving out soon and he needs to figure it out. We'll ask tomorrow if he called, and we have a date set he has to be out by, if he's not getting moving we'll figure more out then :/

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