collapse

Author Topic: Family: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.  (Read 5545 times)

HeartShadow

  • Adept Member
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Posts: 2195
  • Total likes: 3
    • View Profile
    • http://www.flamekeeping.org
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #45 on: December 12, 2013, 09:38:14 am »
Quote from: Olivia;132321
That is true. Lol. I'm now 100% sure I'm pregnant.

 
congrats!

and now if someone asks, you can pretend to try and go into labor.  "well, not today, sorry.  maybe tomorrow!"

LeighArcher

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Join Date: Oct 2013
  • Posts: 5
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
    • http://hawkandlion.wordpress.com/
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #46 on: December 14, 2013, 06:36:28 am »
Quote from: beachglass;130790
Because I know I'm going to need this starting tomorrow. I think my response this year is going to be "I'm waiting one extra year for every person who asks me."

I like kids, I might have some kids, or might not, but I'm utterly uninterested in having this discussion with anyone other than my husband, or possibly my parents (who never pester me about it, bless them).

I'd love to hear your clever responses or lend a sympathetic ear if anyone needs a safe space to vent.

 
*sigh* Now that I'm 20, apparently I'm old enough to be included in my mother's "I want grandkids" lectures.  I keep telling her to wait until I have my doctorate.  The real sticking point is marriage, though.  She's still convinced I'm gonna get married some day, and I keep telling her there's no power on this earth that would get me to do that.  And for some reason, she thinks I have to get married before having kids (even though she had her first kid years before she was married).

When she gets too pushy, I usually tell her fine, if she wants grandkids so bad, I'll start having unprotected sex with every guy I meet who I'm not related to.  That stops her dead every time.
"I am a warrior, but I\'m a girl, too."

Blog link: http://dustbones.wordpress.com/

Foxface

  • Apprentice
  • ***
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #47 on: December 20, 2013, 05:50:11 am »
Quote from: beachglass;130790
Because I know I'm going to need this starting tomorrow. I think my response this year is going to be "I'm waiting one extra year for every person who asks me."

I like kids, I might have some kids, or might not, but I'm utterly uninterested in having this discussion with anyone other than my husband, or possibly my parents (who never pester me about it, bless them).

I'd love to hear your clever responses or lend a sympathetic ear if anyone needs a safe space to vent.

 
I refuse to have children to the point that I have been snipped. With that said, although it is not a clever response, I make it clear to those who hassle me (aka family) that it is not their decision and that I have thought about this for years. I am old enough to make such a decision and blah blah

So yeah not clever but just remember it is your body and lives (you and hubby)

Just my thoughts

Foxface

XenophonSpeaks

  • Sr. Newbie
  • **
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 12
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #48 on: December 20, 2013, 01:32:28 pm »
Quote from: Olivia;131383
OMG! I have been dealing with this so much lately. I just got married in June and my family and his immediately started in with the kid questions. My MIL pulled me aside AT MY WEDDING and said that she couldn't wait for us to make her some grand babies. :eek: Now at every family thing we are asked by someone when we are going to have kids. On Thanksgiving I told my aunt that we weren't ready for kids, that we want to enjoyed being married first. She looked at me all perplexed and said "of course you're ready for kids. You're married" you know because the ring on my finger automatically means I'm ready to start popping out little brats.


I got married this June as well (June 8th, actually) and I've had the exact same experience-- minus that I'm not pregnant yet, and congratulations to you, by the way.

Due to a lot of medical issues I've had throughout my life, there's a pretty good chance I won't even be able to have children. I definitely don't want them for a few more years yet because I want to spend time enjoying being married before I even start to worry about that kind of added responsibility. I'm not even convinced I necessarily want kinds of my own anyway.

My mother-in-law, however, has LITERALLY DEMANDED that we have children, and when my husband says, "Uh, mom, she might not even be able to," her response is just an adamant, "Yes she can." She brings up babies every single time I see her, and usually more than once. She always talks about how she can't wait to be a grandma, and what she wants the kids to call her, etc. etc. I'm getting really angry and uncomfortable because I feel like she's pretty much laid claim to my womb. Her and I don't even like each other to begin with (very, very long story), so it's like she sees me as some kind of baby-maker for her to acquire another kid; like it will be her baby and not mine.

Oíche

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2012
  • Posts: 527
  • Country: ie
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Religion: Irish Polytheism/Druidry/Initiatory Witchcraft
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #49 on: December 22, 2013, 08:52:40 pm »
Quote from: Foxface;133083
I refuse to have children to the point that I have been snipped. With that said, although it is not a clever response, I make it clear to those who hassle me (aka family) that it is not their decision and that I have thought about this for years. I am old enough to make such a decision and blah blah

So yeah not clever but just remember it is your body and lives (you and hubby)

Just my thoughts

Foxface


I'll be having that procedure done myself hopefully in the next few months (found a doctor and have my referral letter ready) :)
'You're my friend, and I love you- but you really look like a witch!!'

Foxface

  • Apprentice
  • ***
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #50 on: December 25, 2013, 12:20:32 am »
Quote from: Cág;133689
I'll be having that procedure done myself hopefully in the next few months (found a doctor and have my referral letter ready) :)

 
I promise you it really isnt bad and the recovery is practically nothing.

Good luck! I was so lucky to find one to do it without me having and kids. The first surgeon outright denied me

Foxface

Scales

  • Master Member
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2013
  • Location: BC
  • Posts: 373
  • Country: ca
  • Total likes: 5
    • View Profile
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #51 on: December 25, 2013, 02:11:14 pm »
Quote from: Foxface;133911
I promise you it really isnt bad and the recovery is practically nothing.

Good luck! I was so lucky to find one to do it without me having and kids. The first surgeon outright denied me

Foxface

 
Good to hear. I'm so nervous to get mine done, it will probably take ages to get a willing doctor

Oíche

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2012
  • Posts: 527
  • Country: ie
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Religion: Irish Polytheism/Druidry/Initiatory Witchcraft
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #52 on: December 25, 2013, 09:35:13 pm »
Quote from: Foxface;133911
I promise you it really isnt bad and the recovery is practically nothing.

Good luck! I was so lucky to find one to do it without me having and kids. The first surgeon outright denied me

Foxface

 
Thank you! :D:
'You're my friend, and I love you- but you really look like a witch!!'

alternating_illusion

  • Apprentice
  • ***
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 22
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: "When are you going to have some kids?" commiseration/vent thread.
« Reply #53 on: December 25, 2013, 09:49:22 pm »
Quote from: beachglass;130790
Because I know I'm going to need this starting tomorrow. I think my response this year is going to be "I'm waiting one extra year for every person who asks me."

I like kids, I might have some kids, or might not, but I'm utterly uninterested in having this discussion with anyone other than my husband, or possibly my parents (who never pester me about it, bless them).

I'd love to hear your clever responses or lend a sympathetic ear if anyone needs a safe space to vent.

 
I HATE this. I don't get it now as I'm in the process of getting divorced. (hey at least something good came out of it!) But yeah, even though I was married, it didn't mean I wanted kids! And neither did he. We knew we weren't going to have kids for a very long time, if ever, but that was somehow so shocking to everyone. And now that I'm no longer with him, now it seems to be, when will I find someone else? Again, it's totally shocking to anyone that I might want to be single for now or a long time or who knows, maybe forever.

I really don't get why our society obsesses with trying to put everyone into a relationship and then kids whether they want that or not. And the guilt you get for not wanting kids always bewildered me. There are so many people who have unwanted kids and don't care for them, yet you're going to guilt someone for making the right and responsible choice and not having children they don't want?! I really don't get it. I also got that with the fact that I'm ok with adoption. People didn't say anything, because how can you guilt someone for adoption, but they always seemed to think I was so strange that I wouldn't want my own biological children. That's great if that's important to you, but having a child technically related to me isn't a big deal for me. So why wouldn't I adopt and help someone have a better life (if do I decide to have kids) rather than have them myself? So I could rant on and on, but I totally sympathize. It's like people have this idea of what life should be for everyone based on what they want, and they never stop to think that maybe that's not what is best for other people. Or that it's none of their business!

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
3 Replies
2555 Views
Last post December 22, 2011, 07:55:54 am
by RandallS
143 Replies
11298 Views
Last post December 31, 2014, 09:30:31 am
by Nyktipolos
30 Replies
7498 Views
Last post July 07, 2016, 09:16:20 pm
by Mivi
9 Replies
2249 Views
Last post May 17, 2014, 02:52:23 pm
by RuachHaKodesh9
10 Replies
598 Views
Last post August 09, 2019, 11:43:57 am
by TsundokuTeaTime

* Who's Online

  • Dot Guests: 31
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 0

There aren't any users online.

* Please Donate!

The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.

* In Memoriam

Chavi (2006)
Elspeth (2010)
Marilyn (2013)

* Cauldron Staff

Co-Hosts:
LyricFox & Randall

Senior Staff:
Darkhawk

Message Board Staff
Board Coordinator:
Sunflower

Assistant Board Coordinator:
Aster Breo

Board Staff:
Allaya, Chatelaine, HarpingHawke, Jenett, Morag, rocquelaire, Sefiru

Discord Chat Staff
Chat Coordinator:
Morag

Reserve Staff:
Aisling

Cauldron Council:
Bob, Catja, Emma-Eldritch, Fausta, Jubes, Kelly, Phouka, Sperran, Star, Steve, Tana

Cauldron Assistants
[Non-Staff Positions]

Site Assistants
[Non-Staff Positions]
Webmaster:
Randall