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Author Topic: Un-making a commitment  (Read 2214 times)

IceAngie

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Un-making a commitment
« on: July 06, 2012, 09:01:18 pm »
A friend of mine did a commitment to the neo-wiccan gods. She commited to study the religion and worship Them, but now she decided neo-Wicca is not for her (I warned her, but she didn't listen). She doesn't know how to free herself from the commitment now. Leaving aside her stupidity...

I have some general questions (not about her specific case):

Do you think it's possible to un-make a commitment to the gods? (I'm sorry if "un-make" doesn't exist, I don't know which word to use, but you know what I mean, yes?)

Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?

monsnoleedra

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2012, 09:24:55 pm »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014
A friend of mine did a commitment to the neo-wiccan gods. She commited to study the religion and worship Them, but now she decided neo-Wicca is not for her (I warned her, but she didn't listen). She doesn't know how to free herself from the commitment now. Leaving aside her stupidity...

I have some general questions (not about her specific case):

Do you think it's possible to un-make a commitment to the gods? (I'm sorry if "un-make" doesn't exist, I don't know which word to use, but you know what I mean, yes?)

Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?

 
I'm not Wiccan so can not answer from that perspective.  However, that said here is what I think and what I find applies to my pathway.

If one dedicates themselves to a given pathway or god / goddess or set of gods / goddesses then I think in part it depends upon which devinity one is working with. For instance I am honor bound and sworn to Hecate / Hekate & Artemis and know it is not my choice to give up on them and they will let you know in no uncertain terms to that fact.  Your friend appears to have made a commitment to an unnamed god / goddess given that Wiccan god / goddess is usually named as part of the acceptance and initation process into a formal coven.  Then add the vagueness of your identificaiton i'd say she dedicated to a non-identifed Lord and Lady figure.

At this point in time i'd say she is not recognized as having made a commitment or dedication to any god / goddess.  Especially so based upon the concept the god / goddess one makes thier dedication and commitment to in my opinon know ones heart and whether the commitment or dedication is true to them.  As such, i'd say your friend's heart was probably pretty clear and nothing accepted or acknowledged.

That said depending upon who those gods / goddesses where might determine how they might respond if they respond at all.

Advise wise I'd simply have her do a ritual or ceremony where she pays honor and respect to those she made the commitment to.  Acknowledge that she has changed and that her commitment would be false and honorless to maintain and ask to be released from it by them.  Make an offering or libation to them and acknowledge she shall not turn to them asking for anything nor expect or desire anything from them.

As a last resort acknowldge her mistake and swear she shall take greater time and consideration before she will enter into such a contract again with any devinity.

Just my two cents for what its worth

mlr52

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2012, 09:37:00 pm »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014


Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?

 
I cannot speak to your friends concerns.  However if I find I need to undo a commitment, I would discuss it with those: who I made the commit with, those who would be affected by my decision, and my mentors.
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Shine

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2012, 09:54:30 pm »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014
I have some general questions (not about her specific case):

Do you think it's possible to un-make a commitment to the gods? (I'm sorry if "un-make" doesn't exist, I don't know which word to use, but you know what I mean, yes?)


It would depend on the circumstances. If you develop a close relationship with a deity or pantheon of deities, and/or they want you around for whatever reason, it's going to be harder to "un-make" committments. From personal experience, when a deity wants you around, he or she makes that very clear (ditto for when a deity doesn't want you around).

Also, the more serious the committment, I think the harder it would be to break off from it, although, again, it depends on the circumstances. Yet there is a big difference between a committment along the lines of: "I promise to do my best to honor you and walk this path until it's time for us to part ways." and "I promise to serve you no matter what--through doubt, through frustration, and through exhaustion."

Quote

Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?

 
I don't think deities are unyielding. Maybe my other answer made it seem that way, but I don't. They'll let you go, I believe, if you make your case.

Usually (still learning, so I make tons of stupid mistakes) I'm pretty wary about making committments to a deity or pantheon of deities unless I'm sure about what I'm doing. I'm ready, for example, to make a deeper committment to serve Bast because I've worshipped her for awhile and am somewhat familiar with her. I wouldn't do anything like that for, say, Zeus or Athena. Not until I know them better and see we mesh well together.

The one time I did stupidly commit myself I was repelled, so I guess I got lucky. Were I in the same situation again, I'd do what Monsnoleedra said. It sounds like solid advice.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2012, 09:56:39 pm by Shine »
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Annie Roonie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2012, 03:03:47 am »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014

I have some general questions (not about her specific case):

Do you think it's possible to un-make a commitment to the gods? (I'm sorry if "un-make" doesn't exist, I don't know which word to use, but you know what I mean, yes?)


Yes. I know it is possible on my end at least. I mean if Jesus/god is still holding to a commitment I made in grade school, I would not know.

Quote from: IceAngie;63014
Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?


I spoke to god and told him. He did not respond. He never responded to my knowledge even when I was committed. Maybe he knew from the start that I wasn't his.

IceAngie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2012, 04:59:16 pm »
Quote from: monsnoleedra;63016
Your friend appears to have made a commitment to an unnamed god / goddess given that Wiccan god / goddess is usually named as part of the acceptance and initation process into a formal coven.  Then add the vagueness of your identificaiton i'd say she dedicated to a non-identifed Lord and Lady figure.


I don't know for certain, but I think you are right. She didn't mention any particular names to me. I figured she just commited to a general Lord and Lady.

Quote from: monsnoleedra;63016
At this point in time i'd say she is not recognized as having made a commitment or dedication to any god / goddess.  Especially so based upon the concept the god / goddess one makes thier dedication and commitment to in my opinon know ones heart and whether the commitment or dedication is true to them.  As such, i'd say your friend's heart was probably pretty clear and nothing accepted or acknowledged.


Oh, that's interesting. So you are saying that it is possible that she didn't really make a commitment to the gods, since the gods would have known she's not fit for them?

Quote from: monsnoleedra;63016
Advise wise I'd simply have her do a ritual or ceremony where she pays honor and respect to those she made the commitment to.  Acknowledge that she has changed and that her commitment would be false and honorless to maintain and ask to be released from it by them.  Make an offering or libation to them and acknowledge she shall not turn to them asking for anything nor expect or desire anything from them.

As a last resort acknowldge her mistake and swear she shall take greater time and consideration before she will enter into such a contract again with any devinity.


This is what I told her too. I think the best idea is to do a ritual and talk to the gods about her change of mind.

Quote from: monsnoleedra;63016
Just my two cents for what its worth

 
Thank you!

IceAngie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2012, 05:01:56 pm »
Quote from: mlr52;63018
I cannot speak to your friends concerns.  However if I find I need to undo a commitment, I would discuss it with those: who I made the commit with, those who would be affected by my decision, and my mentors.

 
Yes. In this case it would only be her and the gods she commited to.

IceAngie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2012, 05:06:09 pm »
Quote from: Shine;63024
From personal experience, when a deity wants you around, he or she makes that very clear (ditto for when a deity doesn't want you around).


I agree.

Quote from: Shine;63024
Also, the more serious the committment, I think the harder it would be to break off from it, although, again, it depends on the circumstances. Yet there is a big difference between a committment along the lines of: "I promise to do my best to honor you and walk this path until it's time for us to part ways." and "I promise to serve you no matter what--through doubt, through frustration, and through exhaustion."

 
I see what you mean. I don't know what kind of commitment she did, I'll have to ask her. Thanks for your answer!

IceAngie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2012, 05:11:04 pm »
Quote from: Annie Roonie;63054
Yes. I know it is possible on my end at least. I mean if Jesus/god is still holding to a commitment I made in grade school, I would not know.

I spoke to god and told him. He did not respond. He never responded to my knowledge even when I was committed. Maybe he knew from the start that I wasn't his.

 
Seriously. I didn't think about that. I'm in the same situation I think. I didn't speak to the Christian god when I left Catholicism, but I did some years later. I hope I'm free of the commitements I did to him when I was a child (and had no idea what I was doing or why). If I am not... well, I guess there's no way to know that. :/

Aine Rayne

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2012, 10:23:24 am »
Quote from: IceAngie;63122
Seriously. I didn't think about that. I'm in the same situation I think. I didn't speak to the Christian god when I left Catholicism, but I did some years later. I hope I'm free of the commitements I did to him when I was a child (and had no idea what I was doing or why). If I am not... well, I guess there's no way to know that. :/

 
I've found that the Christian god tends not to accept children's dedications and commitments. Not because He doesn't want them or like them, but because most of them don't really know what they're doing or getting themselves into. I know that's how it always felt to me. Sort of a "you know I love you right? good, go play and be obedient, we'll talk about that whole commitment thing later." I think several gods have the same policy with kids, and from what I've seen most don't go "no takesies-backsies!"
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Un-making a commitment
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2012, 03:55:42 pm »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014
Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?

At the risk of sounding snide, this doesn't make any sense. While making oaths and promises is something not to be taken lightly, if you find what you're doing isn't for you, then move on.

If this friend feels the need to formally cut ties with anything dealing with Wicca or the Gods she was working with, she could do a little ritual to affirm that. Otherwise, there's no harm in making a change.

Having said all that, it's unwise to make promises you can't keep, if only for the fact that you become unreliable and untrustworthy. I hope this person learns from this, and doesn't rush headlong into a new spiritual path full of oaths and promises he or she is ill-suited to keep.

Karen

IceAngie

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2012, 05:02:39 pm »
Quote from: dragonfaerie;64043
Having said all that, it's unwise to make promises you can't keep, if only for the fact that you become unreliable and untrustworthy. I hope this person learns from this, and doesn't rush headlong into a new spiritual path full of oaths and promises he or she is ill-suited to keep.

 
Even I knew she wouldn't be able to keep her promises, and I advised her against it... I seriously hope she learns from this.

EmissaryOfMinong

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Re: Un-making a commitment
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2013, 04:09:24 am »
Quote from: IceAngie;63014
A friend of mine did a commitment to the neo-wiccan gods. She commited to study the religion and worship Them, but now she decided neo-Wicca is not for her (I warned her, but she didn't listen). She doesn't know how to free herself from the commitment now. Leaving aside her stupidity...

I have some general questions (not about her specific case):

Do you think it's possible to un-make a commitment to the gods? (I'm sorry if "un-make" doesn't exist, I don't know which word to use, but you know what I mean, yes?)

Well, if you made a commitment to be a part of a certain religion and to worship its gods and goddesses, and you realize it's not for you, how would you do to go away?


I know it's possible to un-make a commitment to the Christian God, because I've done it. Within the past week, in fact. I was trying to figure out what was holding me back for a long time, and then it finally dawned on me...:ashamed:

Basically, my approach was to go have a long one-on-one conversation with him and lay everything on the table. This may not work for everyone, and I am at a loss how to explain how one initiates such a conversation, because it's always come naturally to me.

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