Closeted Pagan

[Hariti]

My response to that is that communities large and small have the God-given right to set community standards and to expect them to be adhered to by those who participate. I do believe that we are stronger when those standards encourage a healthy variety of individuals and ideas, and I do believe in the moral obligation of hospitality...but if you find yourself living in opposition to the standards of your community, perhaps your best course of action is to make a graceful exit.

This is the classic disagreement between collectivist and individualist ideals, as well as between libertarian and authoritarian.

I am a Classical Liberal, Libertarian, Individualist, and I consider the rights of the individuals to be more important than the wishes of the community. Certainly, the community can make just laws which prevent one person from harming another, but restricting activities which do not do measurable physical, psychological, or financial harm is anathema and unjust in my opinion, and I also believe, in the eyes of God.

[ehbowen]

This is the classic disagreement between collectivist and individualist ideals, as well as between libertarian and authoritarian.

I am a Classical Liberal, Libertarian, Individualist, and I consider the rights of the individuals to be more important than the wishes of the community. Certainly, the community can make just laws which prevent one person from harming another, but restricting activities which do not do measurable physical, psychological, or financial harm is anathema and unjust in my opinion, and I also believe, in the eyes of God.

There are some areas in which it is right to be absolutist, and there are some areas where the truth lies more in the middle. In my own opinion, this is one of those latter cases. There is a natural tension between the right of the individual to live as he/she pleases and the rights of the citizens of the locality, state or nation to live in a community which reflects their shared values. I do not say that you need to accept the latter blindly any more than the society should accept the former blindly...but, if not, you'd better be damned sure that your actions are reforming the community and not corrupting it. The attendant complement of freedom of action is the responsibility for one's actions...and how they affect the lives of others.

If you wish to appeal to God, by all means do so. I have done so myself. We shall see how this shakes out in the end.

[Owl]

I'm not saying that that's fair. It isn't. But the fact remains that people will judge us within seconds based on the way we present ourselves. If you gave a shit about fitting in, you'd cut your hair. You don't give a shit, and that's great! I'm just saying for any of us who choose to present as something outside the norm, we can't really pretend to not understand why people make assumptions. Shit, manipulating people's assumptions via our appearance is basic glamour magic.

A lot of it is letting people see what they want to see.


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[ehbowen]

A lot of it is letting people see what they want to see.

Which could also be characterized as respecting their space.

[Emma Eldritch]

A lot of it is letting people see what they want to see.

Yes, I think that's a fair point.

I always just think of it in terms of job interviews - you generally don't show up in your sweatpants in that situation because you know people are going to see you as unprofessional.

[Emma Eldritch]

Which could also be characterized as respecting their space.

I promise I could not care less if my Baphomet dress respects your space, unless I've accidentally walked into a church service. But I do recognise the reason why you might give me major side-eye as a result.

[Owl]

Which could also be characterized as respecting their space.

True. But it goes beyond that. Here in the pacific wet west, if i, at 59 yrs old and female, am wearing jeans snd hiking boots and s flannel shirt over another shirt, no one really even sees me. Especially if i braid my hair down the back rather than letting it be free. I am so uninteresting as to be very unmemorable. Which is often where I want to be.


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[ehbowen]

True. But it goes beyond that. Here in the pacific wet west, if i, at 59 yrs old and female, am wearing jeans snd hiking boots and s flannel shirt over another shirt, no one really even sees me. Especially if i braid my hair down the back rather than letting it be free. I am so uninteresting as to be very unmemorable. Which is often where I want to be.

Very true. There are many times when it is wise not to draw attention. Even deities so behave in many circumstances.

[ElleEnchanted]

I am Christopagan. I worship Jesus and my Goddess. None of my  family or friends know I am pagan and they cannot know because I would be in trouble and loose people I love. Is anyone else a closeted pagan? How do you deal with this?

I am not necessarily in the closet, but I'm not out of it either. I mean I wont lie or beat around the bush if someone were to just ask. But I am usually pretty vague unless I am really deep into conversation with someone about it.

[Bluerose31]

I am not necessarily in the closet, but I'm not out of it either. I mean I wont lie or beat around the bush if someone were to just ask. But I am usually pretty vague unless I am really deep into conversation with someone about it.

Yes I try to be pretty vague as well, unless I am in deep conversation too.

[Sorcha]

I am Christopagan. I worship Jesus and my Goddess. None of my  family or friends know I am pagan and they cannot know because I would be in trouble and loose people I love. Is anyone else a closeted pagan? How do you deal with this?

I'm absolutely closeted. A few safe people know bits, and the guy I just started dating knows I'm paganish/Christianish; he's agnostic but explored Asatru for awhile and is openminded. But I felt it was important for somebody I'm dating to know what's up, and he's basically the only one.

I wish my parents would be accepting but they're both lovely people and extremely Christian, and they'd just be heartbroken and convinced I was going to hell. There's little point to putting them through that. I live 500 miles away from them and pretty much do my thing except for the few weeks of the year when I'm around them.

A few people at my church kinda know bits; one lady I spend a lot of time with knows I work with Brigid but I talk about her more in her saint aspect when I do.

Otherwise, yeah. Closeted. And it's fine. I'm actually happier with my spirituality being private.


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[Bluerose31]

I'm absolutely closeted. A few safe people know bits, and the guy I just started dating knows I'm paganish/Christianish; he's agnostic but explored Asatru for awhile and is openminded. But I felt it was important for somebody I'm dating to know what's up, and he's basically the only one.

I wish my parents would be accepting but they're both lovely people and extremely Christian, and they'd just be heartbroken and convinced I was going to hell. There's little point to putting them through that. I live 500 miles away from them and pretty much do my thing except for the few weeks of the year when I'm around them.

A few people at my church kinda know bits; one lady I spend a lot of time with knows I work with Brigid but I talk about her more in her saint aspect when I do.

Otherwise, yeah. Closeted. And it's fine. I'm actually happier with my spirituality being private.


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Thank you for sharing this I am glad your boyfriend is someone your spirituality is safe with. I feel it is good to be closeted, and that it is okay. Right now I have to stay private. My fiance knows though. My family is extremely Christian too. My fiance is actually Christian but open minded. I also attend church weekly and I do pray to Jesus as well but I also have my Goddess. Thank you for sharing your struggle with me

[stellaluna]

I am Christopagan. I worship Jesus and my Goddess. None of my  family or friends know I am pagan and they cannot know because I would be in trouble and loose people I love. Is anyone else a closeted pagan? How do you deal with this?

While I am not a christopagan, I am most definitely closeted. I was raised Catholic and my Father is the Decon of our church. I could never tell him that I am pagan. Nor could I tell any of my siblings, it would just get back to my Father. My boyfriend knows, and now that I live with him I am free to practice as I see fit. I actually have an altar in the bedroom. He is very supportive. My family and friends, however, are not at all open-minded. It is what it is and at least I have a space where I CAN practice...so I am happy.

[meno silencio]

I am Christopagan. I worship Jesus and my Goddess. None of my  family or friends know I am pagan and they cannot know because I would be in trouble and loose people I love. Is anyone else a closeted pagan? How do you deal with this?

I'm also in the closest, but lucky to be in a relationship with someone who I can be open with. I'm not super worried about most people finding out (my mother is the issue), but I just don't want to stir up any unnecessary trouble. If I meet another pagan though I'm happy to chat and let them know that I'm also a pagan.

Honestly though, I figure sooner or later I'll have to deal with this and it might get messy. I've come to terms with that.

Meno<3