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Author Topic: Paganism and Partners Part Two!  (Read 324 times)

LadyBug

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Paganism and Partners Part Two!
« on: September 19, 2018, 09:19:04 am »
Good morning all!

     I had a thought, in true LadyBug fashion I had this thought about 15 minutes before I catch the bus to go to work so this post may be a little sloppy and for that I apologize. Quick call back to what caused this thought, Grace brought up her concerns about her differing faith with her partner over in "Paganism for Beginners" (https://ecauldron.com/forum/paganism-for-beginners/paganism-and-partners/). As is natural, the topic got me wondering.

     How do people deal with differing faiths on a day to day basis? What kind of mixed faith relationships are present on the board? How does that mix affect what you celebrate and when? How does it affect daily household activities like cleaning or unwinding after work? How did you "come out of the broom closet" to your partner the first time? Do you have any funny stories about Holidays or differing practices coming together to form a tradition in your household? How did your family blend to accommodate both faiths or your faith and your partners lack thereof (or vice versa of course)?

     I've run out of time to think and type, I'll tack my answers on at the end of my work day! I look forward to hearing some stories :P

**Edit: Posted too soon by accident, finished refining the post**
« Last Edit: September 19, 2018, 09:23:26 am by LadyBug »

Grace

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Re: Paganism and Partners Part Two!
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2018, 07:26:18 am »
Quick call back to what caused this thought, Grace brought up her concerns about her differing faith with her partner over in "Paganism for Beginners" (https://ecauldron.com/forum/paganism-for-beginners/paganism-and-partners/). As is natural, the topic got me wondering. 

I'm glad my post got you thinking  :)

How do people deal with differing faiths on a day to day basis? What kind of mixed faith relationships are present on the board? How does that mix affect what you celebrate and when? How does it affect daily household activities like cleaning or unwinding after work? How did you "come out of the broom closet" to your partner the first time? Do you have any funny stories about Holidays or differing practices coming together to form a tradition in your household? How did your family blend to accommodate both faiths or your faith and your partners lack thereof (or vice versa of course)?

I guess I can actually add to this now as my partner and I have had some great conversations over the last week which has really sorted out any lingering discomfort he had/I thought he might have been having.

For example, I'm pretty much spending my whole day today prepping for my Autumn Equinox celebrations this evening, and my boyfriend has been so sweet, offering to come to the market with me to get ingredients even though he generally likes to stay curled up at home on the weekends, and he's been very supportive asking if there's anything he can help with. Also, he's agreed to give me space this evening in our living area so I can conduct my celebrations in peace. He's been so super supportive and genuinely happy to see me get back into my faith again, he said he can see it makes me a much happier person and he will always support that.

We've even talked about how our differing faiths will come into play when we have kids, which isn't a conversation I thought we'd have so soon but it just came up naturally. We have hit a little snag as he has expressed he would like to have our kids baptized in a catholic ceremony, and I feel a little iffy about that, but we talked about maybe having a pagan blessing privately first. I like that we're so willing to compromise and accommodate the other and no topic is off limits. But children aren't on the cards for us for another few years so we have plenty of time to figure it out, and it doesn't worry me as I know we'll both take the others beliefs into consideration and work together to find the best compromise.

I have to give him huge credit for being so amazing when it comes to being respectful and inclusive of my beliefs, he's an awesome guy and I'm so glad I'm with him  ;D

LadyBug

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Re: Paganism and Partners Part Two!
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2018, 08:13:42 am »
I have to give him huge credit for being so amazing when it comes to being respectful and inclusive of my beliefs, he's an awesome guy and I'm so glad I'm with him  ;D

Thats so good! I'm happy for you and he :)

     I've run out of time to think and type, I'll tack my answers on at the end of my work day! I look forward to hearing some stories :P

I forgot to add my answer but mine is short and sweet, so I'll add backstory.

     My boyfriend has reasons to not believe there to be any Higher Power at all (hard childhood spent mostly in hospital, actual clinical death 3 times etc, its more complicated than that but those are the 2 he always quotes first when we discuss).

     Despite that, he is currently the reason I am back on TC and the reason I am venturing back into figuring out my faith. He noticed I had been avoiding the whole topic of faith and deity since a few hard times at the beginning of our relationship and he went out of his way to sit me down and go "Hey listen. There is no reason for you to give up your belief system just because I don't believe in anything. Your faith makes you happy and helps you get through the day. I'd be a s**t person if I took that away from you. Go! Be free and spiritual! Be a weirdo that talks to the trees again, BUT BE MY WEIRDO THAT TALKS TO TREES!"

Yes that is an actual quote from the conversation. Yes he got more dramatic as the sentences got shorter. Yes by the last one he was yelling and jumping a little. What can I say, I caught me a Former Drama/Improv Kid :P

Too Long;Didn't Read

My boyfriend has no faith in any higher power whatsoever but he encourages me to re-find my belief structure and spirituality anyways. But he does it dramatically, because he is a ham.

TheGreenWizard

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Re: Paganism and Partners Part Two!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2018, 03:04:30 pm »
How do people deal with differing faiths on a day to day basis? What kind of mixed faith relationships are present on the board? How does that mix affect what you celebrate and when? How does it affect daily household activities like cleaning or unwinding after work? How did you "come out of the broom closet" to your partner the first time? Do you have any funny stories about Holidays or differing practices coming together to form a tradition in your household? How did your family blend to accommodate both faiths or your faith and your partners lack thereof (or vice versa of course)?

For Michael and I, it was rocky at first. We've been together close to 10 years come this October, but I recently went back to studying my faith about two years ago (after being firmly an agnostic. He was dismissive of my practice and studies at first, which really dealt a blow to my self-confidence in this. At one point we were discussing things, and I distinctly remember snapping back at one of his remarks, telling him that this is what makes me happy and helps me get through my day, that he has no right to be a judgemental asshole about it.

We took a breather, and then (awkwardly) talked about it - turns out he felt that I was creeping into his space with worshipping Dionysos because Dionysos is supposedly his God of Theater. That led to an interesting discussion about how there are different facets of Dionysos and I worship him because of what happened during a meditation in 2017. Since then, we've been talking about faith and supernatural stuff more openly and with less judgement/sarcasm from him.

For the chores, and holidays... there hasn't been a conflict - yet - because I am really just starting to understand my faith's place in my life. I'm being more public about it (after all, a lot of the Christians and Jews in my area and work place are public about their faith as well), and when I discuss it with others, I make sure to take it on from a scholar point of view, as well as an empathic one, relating to the other person's moments when they had clarity from their deities and such and how I have such moments with Dionysos and Persephone. However, with his family being traditional Italians, I have gotten the questions of "Are you Christian/Catholic?" and with family... I honestly just don't have the energy some times to deal with them (especially his uncle).

With my other partner, J, he's very supportive of my faith - he sends me greetings and celebrations about the holidays, and sometimes asks me to do some work for him with Dionysos, or with my Tarot. However, I don't live with him and so we have less conflicts, I'd suppose one could say?

There's also my family but that's for another reply.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go

Grace

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Re: Paganism and Partners Part Two!
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2018, 04:51:28 am »
Your faith makes you happy and helps you get through the day. I'd be a s**t person if I took that away from you. Go! Be free and spiritual! Be a weirdo that talks to the trees again, BUT BE MY WEIRDO THAT TALKS TO TREES!"

Aww this is so lovely, but also made me giggle  ;D He sounds awesome :)

 

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