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Author Topic: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?  (Read 2167 times)

yewberry

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Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« on: September 21, 2012, 12:28:27 am »
I'm aware this is a tall order, but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for a relatively young woman (me) who's planning a croning ritual for herself that will include a mixed and decidedly non-flaky group of women.

It will definitely involve my traditional fire and stuff written on paper to burn (manifest/banish).  But I'm at a complete loss for something else simple-but-meaningful to try with a bunch of folks of various religious and non-religious backgrounds.  I mean aside from wine, dinner, and chocolate.  Am I over thinking this?  Help?

Brina

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2012, 09:01:39 am »
Quote from: yewberry;74654
Am I over thinking this?  Help?

You might be over thinking it, at least a bit. It needs to be meaningful to you and the others involved. If you start adding stuff just to be adding it, chances are the bits added  will not be meaningful to you.
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Catherine

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2012, 10:25:03 am »
Quote from: yewberry;74654
I'm aware this is a tall order, but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for a relatively young woman (me) who's planning a croning ritual for herself that will include a mixed and decidedly non-flaky group of women.

 
Hmm. I guess it depends on how you feel about it. Are you celebrating, or do you feel like it's too soon for you to be making this transition and are looking for ways to make it easier?

I mean, if it were me (which it will be as soon I finally stop menstruating) I'd be dancing around yelling free, free, I'm finally FREE! But, I get that not everyone would be so happy about it.

yewberry

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2012, 12:12:39 pm »
Quote from: RandallS;74669
You might be over thinking it, at least a bit. It needs to be meaningful to you and the others involved. If you start adding stuff just to be adding it, chances are the bits added  will not be meaningful to you.


Me?  Overthinking?  What are the odds?

Seriously, though, the interwebz have been so singularly unhelpful (I even tried using the super-generic "fun" and only got more flakiness).  I don't know what I was hoping for asking the question.  Maybe I'll just make myself a cloak-of-many-tampons and wear it around all night.  ;)

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2012, 02:03:13 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;74654
I'm aware this is a tall order, but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for a relatively young woman (me) who's planning a croning ritual for herself that will include a mixed and decidedly non-flaky group of women.

It will definitely involve my traditional fire and stuff written on paper to burn (manifest/banish).  But I'm at a complete loss for something else simple-but-meaningful to try with a bunch of folks of various religious and non-religious backgrounds.  I mean aside from wine, dinner, and chocolate.  Am I over thinking this?  Help?

Brina


Hm.  The search engine turned up this ritual.  Not sure if this is a what a croning ought to look like however, or if it belongs in the moronic basket.  One thing I did notice about it is the emphasis on past things, left behind or forsaken-- I lay this down, I lay that down.  Yes, that is part of moving from one life-aspect to the next, but that transition also involves picking up new ideas, new perspective, a new 'mantle' or 'role.'  Perhaps focusing on what is acquired as part of becoming a crone will spark some creativity.
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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2012, 02:28:00 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;74654

It will definitely involve my traditional fire and stuff written on paper to burn (manifest/banish).  But I'm at a complete loss for something else simple-but-meaningful to try with a bunch of folks of various religious and non-religious backgrounds.  I mean aside from wine, dinner, and chocolate.  Am I over thinking this?  Help?

 
The place I'd start with this is "What does croning mean to you?" The physical piece - menopause, etc? The societal piece (stepping back from active "let me do that" type roles, and becoming more of an advisory role?), communal (committing to being a resource for younger women - and men, and whatever other gender identity?)

It's always seemed the kind of ritual that's much easier to craft once you know where the doorway's actually placed, and how much bleedthrough you want from stage A to stage B. How do you want your life to change after you do this? (Do you want your life to change at all?) What are the good and the bad parts about that? (so you can celebrate the good bits, and find ways in the ritual work to acknowledge the not-so-great bits and maybe set up some patterns for dealing with them consciously.)
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yewberry

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2012, 03:36:49 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;74693
The place I'd start with this is "What does croning mean to you?"


Few of the things traditionally associated with croning?  I've always felt like a quasi-curmudgeon trapped in a younger woman's body.  That I'd go through menopause early doesn't surprise me at all.  That said, I'm also pretty far from the old lady stereotype associated with the post-menopausal woman, mostly stemming from the fact that I'm only 44, and started having heavy-duty hot flashes/long spaces between periods (11 months in one instance) in my mid-30s.  I'm also not interested in much woo-woo to mark this transition (as I mentioned, mixed crowd).

But to actually answer your question: to me it's something I at once want to poke fun at and honor.  So levity, even silliness are what I'm looking for, probably culminating in quieter introspection while the fire burns.  I'm very specifically trying to avoid the kind of ritual MadZealot posted.  Sorry, man, but I'm not Wiccan or that serious.  Although there's great appeal in setting up something like this for my friends, with all the bells and whistles and tablecloths and candles, just to see their horrified expressions...then letting them off the hook at the last minute with a "Sorry, just screwin' with you guys."  ;)

How do I emphasize change when things aren't really changing for me that much?  I'm not stepping back or becoming granny-like in the way I deal with the world.  I've never been a sexy young woman.  Well, maybe once for like 15 minutes in my late teens somewhere, but by the time I was 23 I already had a young son, was married to my second husband, and didn't spend a lot of time thinking of myself that way.  

But I am different now.  I feel different.  My body is different.  I'm not deeper or more contemplative or wiser.  I'm just me...except different.

I'm not explaining this very well, am I?  Thanks for your questions, though, Jenett.  You never fail to make me think.

Brina

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2012, 06:47:43 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;74678
Me?  Overthinking?  What are the odds?

I think I will just shut up on that one. ;)
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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2012, 07:56:17 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;74701
I've always felt like a quasi-curmudgeon trapped in a younger woman's body.


Yeah, that sounds like you.

Quote
I'm very specifically trying to avoid the kind of ritual MadZealot posted.  Sorry, man, but I'm not Wiccan or that serious.


Yeah, that's going to be part of your search problem - even the non-moronic, non-flaky stuff you find is likely to be all Wiccish and solemn (Lark - as longtime Cauldronites will recall - is solid and not at all fluffy, but the material on her Tangled Moon site is very definitely Wiccish.)

Quote
But I am different now.  I feel different.  My body is different.  I'm not deeper or more contemplative or wiser.  I'm just me...except different.

 
Hmm... I don't, myself, have plans for anything very ritualized or women's-mysteries-y when I reach that (elusive, or so it seems right now) point, so I don't have much constructive to offer, but you could try picking over the snark in the I can haz menopaws NAO plz? social group (I see that I set it so you have to join to read content) and seeing if any of it's useful to you.  Mostly, that'd just be bits of levity, with no ritual context or anything, so it might or might not help.

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yewberry

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2012, 08:06:57 am »
Quote from: SunflowerP;74716
Lark - as longtime Cauldronites will recall - is solid and not at all fluffy, but the material on her Tangled Moon site is very definitely Wiccish.


Yup.  I haven't seen her post anywhere paganish in years.  Of course, I don't get around much anymore.  ;)
 
Quote
Hmm... I don't, myself, have plans for anything very ritualized or women's-mysteries-y when I reach that (elusive, or so it seems right now) point, so I don't have much constructive to offer, but you could try picking over the snark in the I can haz menopaws NAO plz? social group (I see that I set it so you have to join to read content) and seeing if any of it's useful to you.  Mostly, that'd just be bits of levity, with no ritual context or anything, so it might or might not help.


Figures I wouldn't know there's a menopause SIG.  Oblivious much, yewberry?

I've actually come up with a few things since I originally posted.  Namely themes around literal and metaphorical "baggage" that I'm divesting myself of.  At very least, the wheels are finally turning.  Thanks for helping me get unblocked on this particular subject, everyone!  :)

Brina

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2012, 07:45:24 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;74741
Yup.  I haven't seen her post anywhere paganish in years.  Of course, I don't get around much anymore.  ;)

 
She's practicing BTW these days (2* I think, though she may have received her 3* and I've forgotten); she posts occasionally on A&J.  And I see her commenting from time to time on the LJs and DWs of mutual e-quaintances.

Quote
Figures I wouldn't know there's a menopause SIG.  Oblivious much, yewberry?


If I'd known you were as far along with it as you are, I'd have sent you an invite.  (The impetus was in the "There, I Said It" thread - menopausal gripes being likely to get into TMI territory - just FYI.)

Quote
I've actually come up with a few things since I originally posted.  Namely themes around literal and metaphorical "baggage" that I'm divesting myself of.  At very least, the wheels are finally turning.  Thanks for helping me get unblocked on this particular subject, everyone!  :)

 
I'd be interested in hearing more about the end result!

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Starglade

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2012, 10:46:10 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;74773


 
While I find myself less and less attached to the paganish stuff, I'm most assuredly post-menopausal. May I beg an invitation as well? I can be the oddball who didn't have enough physical problems to even really notice what was happening.
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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2012, 04:27:57 pm »
Quote from: Starglade;74782
I can be the oddball who didn't have enough physical problems to even really notice what was happening.


Me too.  I quit menstruating over a year ago and never really noticed.  None of the scary symptoms I keep reading about.

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2012, 07:04:24 pm »
Quote from: Starglade;74782
While I find myself less and less attached to the paganish stuff, I'm most assuredly post-menopausal. May I beg an invitation as well? I can be the oddball who didn't have enough physical problems to even really notice what was happening.

 
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;74859
Me too.  I quit menstruating over a year ago and never really noticed.  None of the scary symptoms I keep reading about.

 
Just go ahead and join - no invites required, nor do I need to approve you; I just set it to "have to join to read" because some folks might feel their stuff is a bit personal.

Glad to have you both (or all, counting Brina if she joins)!

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drekfletch

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Re: Croning ritual that isn't totally moronic?
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2012, 12:44:38 am »
Quote from: yewberry;74701

But I am different now.  I feel different.  My body is different.  I'm not deeper or more contemplative or wiser.  I'm just me...except different.

 
Not all rites of passage are sharp dividers like an initiation.  They are sometimes a recognition of change.  Like Graduation.  Getting a diploma isn't what gives you the knowledge that it represents.  You got that information over the previous years.  Graduation is merely a recognition that you've gained a basic knowledge base, judged as sufficient for survival by society.

It sounds like your croning ritual isn't meant to effect any change, but merely to be recognition that you have changed.
There is no inherent meaning to life.  Stop looking and give your life meaning.
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