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Author Topic: Wedding Ceremony?  (Read 1362 times)

Paradoxum

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Wedding Ceremony?
« on: January 12, 2013, 01:29:19 am »
Okay well I am seriously close to proposing to my girlfriend (already in the works but digressing) Is there any special marriage ceremonies? I would rather not have to get married in a Christian church or along them lines. I know it's not a recognized religion in the U.S. but foreign wedding is within price range as well. Anyways just have to show photo of the lucky/unlucky (depending on your view) woman.



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Re: Wedding Ceremony?
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2013, 02:57:40 am »
Quote from: Paradoxum;90528
Okay well I am seriously close to proposing to my girlfriend (already in the works but digressing) Is there any special marriage ceremonies? I would rather not have to get married in a Christian church or along them lines. I know it's not a recognized religion in the U.S. but foreign wedding is within price range as well.

 
Congrats (or almost congrats, I guess?) on your impending nuptials!

Laws vary by state as to exactly what makes for an official ceremony, so you'll want to check with officials, but you won't be required to get married in a Christian ceremony. In my state, I just had to have an officiant who was licensed in the US; I've known several heathens and Asatruar who were official in that capacity.

The heathen-specific ceremonies I've been to generally involved using an oath-ring when making your promises to each other, but I haven't been to a whole lot. ;)
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Rhyshadow

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Re: Wedding Ceremony?
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2013, 05:42:25 am »
Quote from: Paradoxum;90528
Okay well I am seriously close to proposing to my girlfriend (already in the works but digressing) Is there any special marriage ceremonies? I would rather not have to get married in a Christian church or along them lines. I know it's not a recognized religion in the U.S. but foreign wedding is within price range as well. Anyways just have to show photo of the lucky/unlucky (depending on your view) woman.


 
There is no set ceremony that's required - at least here in MN. As a licensed minister I looked into it.

The base requirements are
1 - A licensed minister or justice of the peace authorized by the state to solemnize marriages
2 - A marriage license provided by the state to the couple upon application provided the couple are legally allowed to marry under the laws of the state
3 - Witnesses

That's it - any ceremony can be used, the couple can even come up with their own. The minister performs it, then they and the witnesses sign the license oathing that the ceremony was performed and that they recognize the couple as having been married. The couple files the license and they get their certificate.

hlewagastir

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Re: Wedding Ceremony?
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2013, 08:57:19 am »
Quote from: Paradoxum;90528
Okay well I am seriously close to proposing to my girlfriend (already in the works but digressing) Is there any special marriage ceremonies? I would rather not have to get married in a Christian church or along them lines. I know it's not a recognized religion in the U.S. but foreign wedding is within price range as well. Anyways just have to show photo of the lucky/unlucky (depending on your view) woman.


Congrats mate :)

You can go for an official like others have said and get the legal stuff done. Then you can go sacrifice to the gods, make your pledges and kiss the bride.
You can also try to merge the two ceremonies as has been suggested - I´m sure there are some local heathens or heathen organisations who would love to help.

Also, if she wanna get married in a church you could go there, have a marriages ceremony, and then go and have a heathen marriage ceremony somewhere else - a couple of my friends have done that because it meant a lot to their partner or their family. Just another god, you know ;)

Historically a marriage seemed to have been a secular contract between two families, and the religious part of it was more about going to the local shrine and sacrifice for a safe marriage and prosperous future or something.
The actual moment of marriage (a la "husband and wife") was secular.
That doesn´t mean it have to be like that; it just means that we don´t really have a defined, religious marriage ceremony handed down. So it usually vary a lot and is open for interpretation/customization.

wadjet

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Re: Wedding Ceremony?
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2013, 09:24:53 am »
Quote from: Paradoxum;90528




Not sure what base you're on, but if it's the one in WA, I can tell you that any religious associations are absolutely unnecessary to the process of marriage. You apply for a license, wait the required 3 days*, the arrange for a marriage ceremony at the Court House, bring two witness (you don't even need to know them). Very simple, very bing-bang-boom. There is absolutely no other requirement, and certainly no need for them to "recognize" your religion. (I know that is an issue with military funerals, but thankfully not marriages.)

I'm personally extremely, uh, against the concept of having any religious associations with the legal process of marriage, so I bias-ly encourage you to do them separately.

I don't believe Norse reconstructionists have much in the way of historical wedding info, unfortunately.

If you are planning on a large "traditional" wedding, I suggest you look into handfasting or other Wiccan-related weddings - not for the specifics, but so you can get a look at all the issues at hand trying to involve friends/family/life in your paganism. It is usually a massive pain in the ass. Some people believe that weddings are not for YOU, but for the family, and will be extremely self-righteous and offended by your choices on what (and who) you include (or not).

I'd go ahead and propose, and you and your partner can discuss what you want, how much you want to include, and what's important to you both.


*On an amusing note, my husband and I asked why there was this weird 3-day waiting period for a marriage license. The clerk laughed and said it was an old law put in place to prevent drunk sailors stumbling in and marrying the first stripper they met. The 3 days gave them the chance to change their mind. Double funny since my partner is a Navy vet.

Hyacinth Belle

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Re: Wedding Ceremony?
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2013, 12:11:50 pm »
Quote from: Paradoxum;90528
Okay well I am seriously close to proposing to my girlfriend (already in the works but digressing) Is there any special marriage ceremonies?

How exciting!

There is some great info over on Asatru Lore (although be warned to tread lightly if you plan to post as a newbie). Here are some links from / gotten from there:
 
- Reconstructing a Heathen Wedding thread
- Medieval and Renaissance Marriage: Theory and Customs research paper, heavy on medieval and Germanic influences according to AL
- Living Asatru has some good ritual outlines, according to AL

Keep us posted through your planning, when it comes!
"Silent and thoughtful a prince\'s son should be / and bold in fighting; / cheerful and merry every man should be / until he waits for death." ~ Havamal, stanza 15

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