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Author Topic: Honor, Wyrd and community  (Read 1223 times)

hraefngar

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Honor, Wyrd and community
« on: December 27, 2014, 05:25:11 pm »
I knew a guy that was smart in an academic sense.  Called himself Heathen, loved to talk about the gods, mythology, arcane bits of lore.  All fine and well. Only problem is Heathenry seemed to be a mere academic exercise to him.  When it came to his private life he was reprehensible and without honor.  

In other words, he could tell you what honor and Wyrd meant from a Heathen perspective, but he didn't have the ability or inclination to examine his own sense of honor and Wyrd, or apply those concepts to his own life.  

After several months of dealing with drama and such, the local community isolated him, shunned him, and basically told him to get lost.   Got kicked out of his own kindred.  

As a Heathen, how seriously do you take honor?  How closely do you guard your own Wyrd, how willing are you to mix it with others?  If you see someone in the community not walking the walk, would you drink from the same horn as them?

Hyacinth Belle

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Re: Honor, Wyrd and community
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2014, 10:10:04 pm »
Quote from: hraefngar;168210
As a Heathen, how seriously do you take honor?  How closely do you guard your own Wyrd, how willing are you to mix it with others?  If you see someone in the community not walking the walk, would you drink from the same horn as them?

 Not sure on the specifics in your situation, but I find I increasingly take my honor very seriously. And I only have found that by coming across others who do NOT take their honor as seriously.

Two recent examples:
- A principal who agreed last school year to give 12th grade teachers an extra day off this year for attending and helping with graduation. This year started, and even though he had given this promise in print, in an email, he did not honor that promise.

- I was really looking forward to a holiday party a week or two ago. The friend whose house it was scheduled at hides her social anxiety pretty well. She had had me set up the date and invite others. The morning of the party, she emailed everyone that people were requesting a new date and the party would be cancelled. And yet, I had confirmed with everyone personally the day before! So I have a seriously sneaking suspicion her anxiety was acting up and she did not feel up to hosting the party. But instead of working through it, telling the truth, etc. I think she just called it off, thereby letting down a group of friends who were looking forward to the party. I had already made the potluck item I was planning to bring.

In example like those and many others, I am reminded that I hold myself to a higher standard in certain parts of my life. It frustrates me when others do not live their lives likewise, but many times, I have no choice to be to interact with them.

So perhaps while I would not willingly "share a horn" with them, I also think part of honor and wyrd also means not messing up my life and others' lives unnecessarily. So if possible, I take a "turn the other cheek" approach.
"Silent and thoughtful a prince\'s son should be / and bold in fighting; / cheerful and merry every man should be / until he waits for death." ~ Havamal, stanza 15

hraefngar

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Re: Honor, Wyrd and community
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2014, 08:07:51 am »
Quote from: Hyacinth Belle;168271
In example like those and many others, I am reminded that I hold myself to a higher standard in certain parts of my life. It frustrates me when others do not live their lives likewise, but many times, I have no choice to be to interact with them.

 
I hear you.

I have always believed in trying to keep my word, even before I was a Heathen.  It seemed like the thing that ethical people do.  

But Heathens have as one of their central rituals symbel.  During symbel we speak our words into the horn, and our Wyrd mixes.  But if you have someone in the group who doesn't walk the walk, perhaps even actively does morally questionable things, would you want to knowingly mix your Wyrd with that person?  

I wouldn't.  I have gotten pretty  severe about that sort of thing.  

Yeah, we are forced to interact with all sort of people in our daily lives, sometimes not to our benefit.   But who we share a horn with in Symbel is our choice, IMO.  :)

Jainarayan

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Re: Honor, Wyrd and community
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2015, 04:23:56 pm »
Quote from: hraefngar;168210
As a Heathen, how seriously do you take honor?  How closely do you guard your own Wyrd, how willing are you to mix it with others?  If you see someone in the community not walking the walk, would you drink from the same horn as them?

 
My honor, such as I see it, is of paramount importance to me. Because I love Thor so much I strive to be as honorable and true to my word as I can possibly be, to emulate him in honesty, to make him proud, and ask his guidance and forgiveness.. mostly guidance... if I falter.

As for the example of drinking with someone who doesn't seem to hold the same values or put the same emphasis on his/her wyrd, I don't believe it's my place to judge them... within limits. That is, if I were at a blot or symbel and the other person were there, I don't think it would be right for me to shun them if the gothi or gythja didn't shun them or exclude them. If it were my private event, I would probably not include or invite them.
śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ
Vishnu's appearance is Shiva; Shiva's appearance is Vishnu
Vishnu is the heart of Shiva; Shiva is the heart of Vishnu - Skandopanishad
 

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