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Author Topic: Feeling too weak.  (Read 2263 times)

Beele

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Feeling too weak.
« on: July 29, 2012, 08:17:36 pm »
A bit of back-story, first of all: Lately, my life has been a little bit crumbly. My fish is very sick (I know how silly that sounds, but I'm as attached to him as I would be a dog), I've had a very recent pregnancy scare, I've had a spat of increased fighting with my partner, and I'm finding that I'm missing more and more days of uni because I wake up, think about having to leave the house, and start to cry. It's making me feel damned weak, and it's making me feel angry because I know that I'm not as helpless as I think I am, but I can't just get over it and get back in the saddle.

That's making me feel very unworthy to so much as glance outside during a thunder storm. I feel as though I'd be insulting the gods, rather than venerating them, to leave an offering for them. I've always been under the impression that you have to be mentally strong for it not to be completely disrespectful for you to contact the Norse gods; I've always felt like weakness is looked down on by them. (I accept the idea that this might be my own feeling of 'not being worthy' influencing my thoughts, but ... it's the idea that I came to heathenry with, and it's the idea that's stuck.) I have this idea in my head that if there's any weakness in me, I don't deserve to honour the gods, so I should just shut up and go away. And that makes me feel stupid.

Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?

Wickerman

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2012, 08:30:48 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66572
A bit of back-story, first of all: Lately, my life has been a little bit crumbly. My fish is very sick (I know how silly that sounds, but I'm as attached to him as I would be a dog), I've had a very recent pregnancy scare,.

Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?

 
First off, I could tell you how to avoid another pregnancy scare, but you wouldn't want to hear it. Lets just say that the advice that goes for the stock market goes for sex too, if you can't afford to loose it, don't invest it. If you can't afford to get pregnant then.....

As for the Norse Gods and weakness, well I feel the same. What you should do is ask for strength. The Gods understand that sort of thing. Maybe they grant it maybe they don't, but at least you tried. There are many passages in various Norse literature referring to approaching the Gods with humility, to me that is not the same thing as weakness. The Gods mostly expect us to get on by our own strength, but if you lac it then you should ask.
"Don\'t take life too seriously, or you\'ll never get out of it alive." (Bugs Bunny)

wadjet

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2012, 10:15:53 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66572
I have this idea in my head that if there's any weakness in me, I don't deserve to honour the gods, so I should just shut up and go away. And that makes me feel stupid.

Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?

 
I completely feel the same way. If I know I'm not trying as hard as I should be, or if I know I'm avoiding something, than I avoid going to the Gods, who are clearly just going to point out that I'm being a dumbass and should be ashamed of myself.

On thing I do is try to put a different light on things I'm avoiding: instead of saying "I *have* to do this thing or else I suck", which makes me want to avoid it more, I say "I *want* to do this thing", to make myself and my Gods proud. It sounds dumb and simple, but it really does help.

And I agree with Wickerman; humility is not the same as weakness. If you really are trying hard, then there is no shame in asking for help. Like your fish, you're allowed to want a shoulder to lean on for emotional support.

Juniperberry

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2012, 11:20:20 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66572
A bit of back-story, first of all: Lately, my life has been a little bit crumbly. My fish is very sick (I know how silly that sounds, but I'm as attached to him as I would be a dog), I've had a very recent pregnancy scare, I've had a spat of increased fighting with my partner, and I'm finding that I'm missing more and more days of uni because I wake up, think about having to leave the house, and start to cry. It's making me feel damned weak, and it's making me feel angry because I know that I'm not as helpless as I think I am, but I can't just get over it and get back in the saddle.

That's making me feel very unworthy to so much as glance outside during a thunder storm. I feel as though I'd be insulting the gods, rather than venerating them, to leave an offering for them. I've always been under the impression that you have to be mentally strong for it not to be completely disrespectful for you to contact the Norse gods; I've always felt like weakness is looked down on by them. (I accept the idea that this might be my own feeling of 'not being worthy' influencing my thoughts, but ... it's the idea that I came to heathenry with, and it's the idea that's stuck.) I have this idea in my head that if there's any weakness in me, I don't deserve to honour the gods, so I should just shut up and go away. And that makes me feel stupid.

Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?


One thing that you shouldn't overlook us the role that ancestors play in our lives. Ancient mothers and fathers as well recent mothers and fathers are all people that are emotionally invested in us. Your blood was their's before, your depression was their's before, your path in life is one that they walked first and that you carry on. Ask them to guide you, support you, and comfort you.  

As for being weak...our ancestors were not perfect individuals. They strived to be strong in the same way that you strive to be. They weren't just born out of the womb as fearless, completely well-rounded, individuals. I imagine quite a bunch of them had thwir faults. Hel, we see from Lokasenna that even the gods had their faults and weaknesses. Take a look at Egil when his son died (which is rough). He just laid down in bed and was all "That's it. I'm never eating again. I'll never be happy again. I'll just lay here and die in my misery." That's not exactly a person who met all adversity and tragedy with strength of heart and mind.

And, back to Lokasenna, we still honor the gods despite their faults don't we? We still think Thor is worth something even if he might not be the brightest of the Aesir. We still worship Odin even if we know he isn't 100% trustworthy.  There's a beauty in that,  don't you think?

It's ok to be human. Strong people, wise people...they know when they need to ask for help. And they do.
The pace of progress in artificial intelligence (I’m not referring to narrow AI) is incredibly fast. [...] The risk of something seriously dangerous happening is in the five year timeframe. 10 years at most.--Elon Musk

I am in the camp that is concerned about super intelligence," [Bill] Gates wrote. "First the machines will do a lot of jobs for us and not be super intelligent. That should be positive if we manage it well. A few decades after that though the intelligence is strong enough to be a concern. I agree with Elon Musk and some others on this and don\'t understand why some people are not concerned."

yewberry

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2012, 12:26:11 pm »
Quote from: Wickerman;66573
First off, I could tell you how to avoid another pregnancy scare, but you wouldn't want to hear it. Lets just say that the advice that goes for the stock market goes for sex too, if you can't afford to loose it, don't invest it. If you can't afford to get pregnant then.....


What?

Brina

yewberry

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2012, 12:29:43 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66572
Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?


Caveat:  I'm not a theist, so take this with a grain of salt.

I'm wondering if maybe you're projecting your feelings of inadequacy on your gods.  Maybe what they want from you (for you) is to seek some help for what looks like depression.  And, being depressed, you're not able to see that clearly.

Brina

elyssa

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2012, 12:43:58 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;66633
Caveat:  I'm not a theist, so take this with a grain of salt.

I'm wondering if maybe you're projecting your feelings of inadequacy on your gods.  Maybe what they want from you (for you) is to seek some help for what looks like depression.  And, being depressed, you're not able to see that clearly.

Brina

I agree that what you are experianceing sounds like depression. It is something i suffer from and is hard to fight especially alone. Seek help not just from your Gods but your Doctor or from a counselor of some type. Just talking about it to someone may be all the help you need but if your brain chemistry is out of balance you may need meds to be okay. there is no shame in trying to fix what is wrong and in getting help!
« Last Edit: July 30, 2012, 12:44:47 pm by elyssa »

Nachtigall

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2012, 01:42:12 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66572
A bit of back-story, first of all: Lately, my life has been a little bit crumbly. My fish is very sick (I know how silly that sounds, but I'm as attached to him as I would be a dog), I've had a very recent pregnancy scare, I've had a spat of increased fighting with my partner, and I'm finding that I'm missing more and more days of uni because I wake up, think about having to leave the house, and start to cry. It's making me feel damned weak, and it's making me feel angry because I know that I'm not as helpless as I think I am, but I can't just get over it and get back in the saddle.

That's making me feel very unworthy to so much as glance outside during a thunder storm. I feel as though I'd be insulting the gods, rather than venerating them, to leave an offering for them. I've always been under the impression that you have to be mentally strong for it not to be completely disrespectful for you to contact the Norse gods; I've always felt like weakness is looked down on by them. (I accept the idea that this might be my own feeling of 'not being worthy' influencing my thoughts, but ... it's the idea that I came to heathenry with, and it's the idea that's stuck.) I have this idea in my head that if there's any weakness in me, I don't deserve to honour the gods, so I should just shut up and go away. And that makes me feel stupid.

Does anybody else feel as though weakness is disrespectful to the gods, or is it just me?


Being weak is not something to be ashamed of - it's a part of being human. Self-pity will get you nowhere. Continuing your religious practices (perhaps adjusting them to a level that you can still manage), on the other hand, might. Doing small stuff, simply carrying on - you shouldn't feel stupid for that.
Also, perhaps a focus on lesser spirits - those not so grand and (perhaps) intimidating as gods - will help as well. Honoring your ancestors seems like a good idea, actually - they are the closest to you, the ones that are interested in your well-being.

Wickerman

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2012, 06:35:50 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;66631
What?

Brina

 
I assume that you get what I am saying, and are just being a bit sarcastic. Abstinence is not just a christian concept, it is just good sense if you can't afford to face the possible consequences of an action, do not take that action. That is just being responsible.
"Don\'t take life too seriously, or you\'ll never get out of it alive." (Bugs Bunny)

Beele

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2012, 08:25:28 pm »
Quote from: Wickerman;66699
I assume that you get what I am saying, and are just being a bit sarcastic. Abstinence is not just a christian concept, it is just good sense if you can't afford to face the possible consequences of an action, do not take that action. That is just being responsible.

 
And what isn't responsible is you making judgement calls about my body and my choices.

wadjet

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2012, 08:52:42 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66719
And what isn't responsible is you making judgement calls about my body and my choices.

 
I feel the need to second this. I am married, have one partner, and use birth control, and I still have had pregnancy scares - and miscarriages. It is extremely biased to assume "pregnancy scare" means "irresponsible".

Wickerman

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2012, 11:42:47 pm »
Quote from: Beele;66719
And what isn't responsible is you making judgement calls about my body and my choices.

 
Yes it's your choice, when it bites you, don't come crying to someone else about poor you. Take ownership of your life and your decisions, and stop trying to play the victim. Your life is what you make it. You asked, I answered, you didn't like what I said, so pick someone else's answer that makes you feel good.
"Don\'t take life too seriously, or you\'ll never get out of it alive." (Bugs Bunny)

yewberry

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2012, 12:12:44 am »
Quote from: Wickerman;66699
I assume that you get what I am saying, and are just being a bit sarcastic.


I was being a bit flabbergasted at you telling a grown person to keep her legs crossed.  And now I'm flabbergasted that you're apparently surprised by my reaction.

Quote
Abstinence is not just a christian concept, it is just good sense if you can't afford to face the possible consequences of an action, do not take that action. That is just being responsible.


Using birth control, even if it fails, is taking responsibility.  Choosing an abortion is taking responsibility.  Taking care of a child you gave birth to is taking responsibility.  Giving a child up for adoption is taking responsibility.  Abstinence is taking responsibility.

There's more than one way to be responsible for ones sex life.  You might want to read up.

Brina

yewberry

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2012, 12:14:16 am »
Quote from: wadjet;66720
I feel the need to second this. I am married, have one partner, and use birth control, and I still have had pregnancy scares - and miscarriages. It is extremely biased to assume "pregnancy scare" means "irresponsible".


This.

Brina

HeartShadow

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Re: Feeling too weak.
« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2012, 07:30:22 am »
Quote from: Wickerman;66731
Yes it's your choice, when it bites you, don't come crying to someone else about poor you. Take ownership of your life and your decisions, and stop trying to play the victim. Your life is what you make it. You asked, I answered, you didn't like what I said, so pick someone else's answer that makes you feel good.

 
*** MOD HAT ON ***
Wickerman - Your posts in this thread are insensitive, rude, and cruel.  What's more, you're telling someone how to post and how to live her life and making assumptions you've no reason to be making.

A pregnancy scare is personal, and it doesn't mean she didn't want to be pregnant.  It doesn't mean there aren't a ton of emotional issues around it.  It doesn't mean anything except that she thought she was pregnant and discovered she wasn't.  Getting on a moral high horse about abstinence is uncalled for, unwanted, and disgusting in this context.

This is an official warning - and if it were my call alone, it would quite possibly be a banning.  You're being needlessly cruel to someone looking for help with depression and making it personal.  Quite frankly, I'm disgusted.

If you have a problem with this message, take it to Randall in an email.  I have no interest in hearing any excuses for this behavior.

HeartShadow - Message Board Coordinator
 

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