Bhakti poem - The Jasmine Moon

[Redfaery]

Hello, all! I quite enjoy the creative process of writing, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before Sarasvati seized me to write something special just for her. I'm going to post it here because I have no intention of ever formally publishing it. I feel like it would be wrong to try and commercialize what was an act of personal piety.

It's a poem somewhat in the tradition of Vaisna bhakti, which can be very erotic. Sarasvati doesn't do sexy, but she does seem to like romanticism and emotional expressions of devotion.

So here it is:

THE JASMINE MOON

Maha Sarasvati
Fair as the Jasmine Moon
You call to me
With Lotuses in your hair

Maha Sarasvati
Sister of the Crescent Moon
You call to me
With the song of wisdom on your lips

Maha Sarasvati
Adorned with the Crystal Moon
You call to me
With love I cannot comprehend

Maha Sarasvati
Holding the Precious Moon
You call to me
With my heart cradled in your hands

Maha Sarasvati,
I can be nothing but yours

[Jack]

Hello, all! I quite enjoy the creative process of writing, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before Sarasvati seized me to write something special just for her. I'm going to post it here because I have no intention of ever formally publishing it. I feel like it would be wrong to try and commercialize what was an act of personal piety.

It's a poem somewhat in the tradition of Vaisna bhakti, which can be very erotic. Sarasvati doesn't do sexy, but she does seem to like romanticism and emotional expressions of devotion.

I really like this! The repetition works well, and your feelings for Sarasvati come through very clearly.
 
I don't think "publishing" an "commercializing" are necessarily equivalent, though...

[Gilbride]

It's a poem somewhat in the tradition of Vaisna bhakti, which can be very erotic. Sarasvati doesn't do sexy, but she does seem to like romanticism and emotional expressions of devotion.

Bhakti is a wonderful tradition. Nice work.

[Redfaery]

I really like this! The repetition works well, and your feelings for Sarasvati come through very clearly.
 
I don't think "publishing" an "commercializing" are necessarily equivalent, though...

 
Thanks! The words came very easily. This is a form I've used in another poem.

That is true about commercializing/publishing. However, I would feel wrong taking money for this poem. On the other hand, I would also feel wrong sending it to a magazine with such a small readership that they wouldn't be able to pay their contributors. I just felt that this was an appropriate place for it.