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Author Topic: Quietly Watching Life  (Read 804 times)

Atehequa

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Quietly Watching Life
« on: June 29, 2014, 02:15:49 pm »
Sitting quietly by a new stretch of stream
A short rest and time to take in the view
At a peaceful place in a time of strife
Quietly watching life
While it watches me
Onyx eyes, inlaid with gold
Skin slowly changing from green to grey
Down from dry lofty boughs
Lounging on a wet rock
Water smoothed almost into a egg shape
Pushed up by the rushing spring flow
Like a monolith rising out of the bank
Now nearly as grey as the rock
Secure in his camouflage
He issued a quick chirping trill
Smiling I return a softer greeting
Ever appreciative of good company
Even if he was not talking to me
A gentle late summer breeze
Delivers the scent of death
From atop a flat rock, not three paces away
A dead timber rattler leering at me
Lidless eyes that never betrayed the pain of dying
Of broken fangs and empty belly
A chosen place at which to die
I have to wonder if there was a reckoning
Between the dying viper
And the ghosts of all the lives it consumed
Dead upon the rock it lies
Soon to feed the waking ants and flies
Or a nocturnal feast for a hungry raccoon
A dragonfly hovers and zips away
Following her swift flight down over the stream
My eyes fell upon an old box turtle
Mottled yellow head half submerged
Taking in a long cool draught
Raising that head from the water
There was probably a century or more of knowledge
In those blood red eyes
Seemingly regarding me with little concern
Having already keenly picked up my scent
I wondered if he ever caught scent of or looked upon
Human kind before this morning
Ever a place to sit and dream
Watching life come and go, by a stream
Muckhswe kee sishet tepe?

stephyjh

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Re: Quietly Watching Life
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2014, 03:29:43 pm »
Quote from: Atehequa;151591
Sitting quietly by a new stretch of stream
A short rest and time to take in the view
At a peaceful place in a time of strife
Quietly watching life
While it watches me
Onyx eyes, inlaid with gold
Skin slowly changing from green to grey
Down from dry lofty boughs
Lounging on a wet rock
Water smoothed almost into a egg shape
Pushed up by the rushing spring flow
Like a monolith rising out of the bank
Now nearly as grey as the rock
Secure in his camouflage
He issued a quick chirping trill
Smiling I return a softer greeting
Ever appreciative of good company
Even if he was not talking to me
A gentle late summer breeze
Delivers the scent of death
From atop a flat rock, not three paces away
A dead timber rattler leering at me
Lidless eyes that never betrayed the pain of dying
Of broken fangs and empty belly
A chosen place at which to die
I have to wonder if there was a reckoning
Between the dying viper
And the ghosts of all the lives it consumed
Dead upon the rock it lies
Soon to feed the waking ants and flies
Or a nocturnal feast for a hungry raccoon
A dragonfly hovers and zips away
Following her swift flight down over the stream
My eyes fell upon an old box turtle
Mottled yellow head half submerged
Taking in a long cool draught
Raising that head from the water
There was probably a century or more of knowledge
In those blood red eyes
Seemingly regarding me with little concern
Having already keenly picked up my scent
I wondered if he ever caught scent of or looked upon
Human kind before this morning
Ever a place to sit and dream
Watching life come and go, by a stream

 
Ooooh, I really like the vivid imagery you've used here. I mean, obviously, every piece has places it can be tightened, but the big thing that stands out for me is how clearly you've written the scene. Very nice. :)
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

rocquelaire

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Re: Quietly Watching Life
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2014, 04:51:16 pm »
Quote from: Atehequa;151591
Sitting quietly by a new stretch of stream
A short rest and time to take in the view
At a peaceful place in a time of strife
Quietly watching life
While it watches me
Onyx eyes, inlaid with gold
Skin slowly changing from green to grey
Down from dry lofty boughs
Lounging on a wet rock
Water smoothed almost into a egg shape
Pushed up by the rushing spring flow
Like a monolith rising out of the bank
Now nearly as grey as the rock
Secure in his camouflage
He issued a quick chirping trill
Smiling I return a softer greeting
Ever appreciative of good company
Even if he was not talking to me
A gentle late summer breeze
Delivers the scent of death
From atop a flat rock, not three paces away
A dead timber rattler leering at me
Lidless eyes that never betrayed the pain of dying
Of broken fangs and empty belly
A chosen place at which to die
I have to wonder if there was a reckoning
Between the dying viper
And the ghosts of all the lives it consumed
Dead upon the rock it lies
Soon to feed the waking ants and flies
Or a nocturnal feast for a hungry raccoon
A dragonfly hovers and zips away
Following her swift flight down over the stream
My eyes fell upon an old box turtle
Mottled yellow head half submerged
Taking in a long cool draught
Raising that head from the water
There was probably a century or more of knowledge
In those blood red eyes
Seemingly regarding me with little concern
Having already keenly picked up my scent
I wondered if he ever caught scent of or looked upon
Human kind before this morning
Ever a place to sit and dream
Watching life come and go, by a stream

This is lovely Atehequa. Thanks for sharing!
Ashael Rising My debut novel, a tale of a tribal medicine woman, protecting her world from soul-sucking invaders. Crowdfunding now.

Atehequa

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Re: Quietly Watching Life
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2014, 06:57:57 pm »
Quote from: rocquelaire;151636
This is lovely Atehequa. Thanks for sharing!

 
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Muckhswe kee sishet tepe?

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