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Author Topic: Wrestling with Sloth  (Read 4648 times)

anonymus

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Wrestling with Sloth
« on: October 02, 2013, 10:06:49 pm »
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2013, 11:20:45 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

 
I have suffered from depression, but it was awhile ago, and it was a bit different from what yours sounds like.  You could try meditation, visualization, and reading myths and stories until something grabs your interest, and slowly work your way out of it.  The gods, goddesses and stories will gradually work at and loosen the core problem and heal it with you.  Follow your instincts and trust yourself.

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Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2013, 11:53:40 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

Quote from: Jora;123994
You could try meditation, visualization, and reading myths and stories until something grabs your interest, and slowly work your way out of it.  The gods, goddesses and stories will gradually work at and loosen the core problem and heal it with you.  Follow your instincts and trust yourself.

I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder for about 6 years now. I'm quite heavily medicated, and it helps.

Conventional medicine aside, read up on Quan Yin, Goddess of Compassion. She is my personal patron Goddess, and She understands that I don't always have time to dedicate to just Her due to being a full time college student. She's helped me a lot over the past few years.
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Faemon

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2013, 04:22:10 am »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this?


Medieval Christian demonology says that there's a demon called Acedia or Accidie, that sounds a lot like what you're describing. Perhaps dissociate, and exorcise?

I wish you wellness! :)
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Ravyn

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2013, 11:08:12 am »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

 
i don't have much advice, just wanted to wish you well and maybe suggest this is a time to to take care of yourself - not like big deal take a vacation you can't afford, but good food, cut back on outside commitments and refocus on center and self.  ritual and meditation can be part of that.  i find i get apathetic general stress when i have let my own cup run dry while trying to keep others' cups filled, so to speak.

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Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2013, 01:16:50 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

There are many deities associated with healing (which includes mental health). Brighid and Apollo are two particularly popular examples, but many -- if not most -- cultures have healing gods.  It shouldn't be hard for you to figure out who that is in whatever pantheon interests you.

That said, have you looked into low cost mental health options in your area?  That might be a more productive place to start.
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dionysiandame

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2013, 02:02:24 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

 
Everyone already gave you some good advice so I'll just chime in with this little tidbit; are you able to exercise? I spent the past summer in a ridiculous low and I realized that, even with my medication, I don't fully feel "normal" unless I'm getting in at least 4-5 days of exercise per week. It's like my body needs the outlet.  

Within 2 weeks of getting back into my regular fitness routine, I was feeling a lot better and it also encouraged me to do other things that helped me feel good, like drinking more herbal teas, eating fresher foods, and taking a multi-vitamin. As my health has gotten back to where it needs to be; my mood swings haven't been nearly as detrimental to my productivity as they can be.
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Enid

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2013, 08:20:21 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

 
I am going to go mundane here, but it sounds like you have dysthymia also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder. It's a mild, but longer lasting type of depression, usually characterized by lack of interest, depressed mood and to quote my old doctor "not really being able to give a damn." I would speak to your doctor. It also could be low Vitamin D. This can cause many of the issues you are describing.
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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2013, 06:06:49 pm »
Quote from: Enid;124963
I am going to go mundane here, but it sounds like you have dysthymia also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder. It's a mild, but longer lasting type of depression, usually characterized by lack of interest, depressed mood and to quote my old doctor "not really being able to give a damn." I would speak to your doctor. It also could be low Vitamin D. This can cause many of the issues you are describing.

 
That was pretty much what I was going to say. Been there, done that, diagnosed over a decade ago.  Buuuuuut, there are also some other issues that can add to the heap like persistently wonky blood sugar levels (caused by many things) or a thyroid gland that cranks out the wrong mix of hormones (this was something I had and took forever to diagnose).

There does seem to be some interplay between Vitamin D and both blood sugar and thyroid issues. Extra sun exposure can't hurt. Just don't let yourself burn!
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Laveth

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2013, 12:17:29 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978
Over the past couple of years I've been struggling with feeling apathy, a sort of emotional flatness, deadness, where it is hard to feel strong emotion. Similar to depression but not quite depression along with this nebulous feeling of anxiety over being continuously judged. I'm wondering are there entities[gods,spirits,angels,etc.] out there that are particular associated withe mental health issues that I could pray to for help on this? I'm looking more at conventional therapy[once I can afford it] but I'm willing to try less conventional means including spells/rituals if it'll help me shake this. As far as I'm concerned all options are on the table.

 
The basics seem to have already been pretty well covered already: check with a doctor, self care, exercise, try to identify aspects of your life that may be taking more than giving, etc...

I just wanted to add something. Depression manifests differently with different people, nobody is identical to anyone else and apathy can be the result of numerous things ranging from trauma to life situations to a medical condition. It might be worth sitting down and trying to identify and assess all the areas of your life to evaluate where you're at now and if you can think of minor changes you can make to make life more of what you want it to be.

Personally, when I get apathetic it's because of burnout (giving more than I'm getting and being unable to keep things together on my own end). But definitely talk to your doctor and see what they have to say. :)

anonymus

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2015, 10:29:25 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;123978


It's been a while since I have been on this site actively and I have been rereading some of my old posts and just wanted to update this one. I feeling some what better now, I still have issues that flair up every now and then, but not as bad. I wanted to thank everyone that has posted here. I'm definitely looking at this from more of family history/personality type angle now. Also now that I've got somewhat better insurance I'm also thinking about somewhat more regular counseling. I've also found that listening to music helps when I'm feeling down, it doesn't make the negative emotions go away but it does make it easier to feel them. Like when I'm listening I can actually let go and cry. I don't if that last part makes any sense or not; feel free to ask and I'll try clarify.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2015, 10:30:24 pm by anonymus »

Laveth

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2015, 11:07:15 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;175395
It's been a while since I have been on this site actively and I have been rereading some of my old posts and just wanted to update this one. I feeling some what better now, I still have issues that flair up every now and then, but not as bad. I wanted to thank everyone that has posted here. I'm definitely looking at this from more of family history/personality type angle now. Also now that I've got somewhat better insurance I'm also thinking about somewhat more regular counseling. I've also found that listening to music helps when I'm feeling down, it doesn't make the negative emotions go away but it does make it easier to feel them. Like when I'm listening I can actually let go and cry. I don't if that last part makes any sense or not; feel free to ask and I'll try clarify.

 
I'm glad to see you've made some progress with this, and that you're looking at the option of regular counseling.

Being able to let go and "feel" your emotions is really important, and whatever helps you to do that is something to follow up on (though if it's stemming from something traumatic, sometimes we need a safe space and a professional to help us through it).

anonymus

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Re: Wrestling with Sloth
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2016, 01:58:38 pm »
Quote from: anonymus;175395



 
Just felt like updating this after another long interval, to let everyone know that after years of dealing with these issues and a few "patch job" therapy sessions, I'm going in next Monday for what should hopefully be the first session in a more long term program to address whatever the hell my un-diagnosed mental health issues are. I think I've been able to ignore this for so long because I've been able to keep a lid on it and function fairly well. This semester though combined a particularly hard course load with a resurgence in my psych problems. The result to be blunt was me having a small meltdown and almost completely stop going to classes. After that I realized that this is something that needs to be seriously dealt with. So I'm planning to medically withdraw from this semester and use November/December to focus on getting myself back together.

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