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Author Topic: Working magic with a chronic illness  (Read 6376 times)

Sophia C

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Working magic with a chronic illness
« on: February 06, 2013, 10:03:41 am »
So, I have EDS, fibromyalgia and a few other conditions. I spend a lot of my time feeling very unwell. I also do some magical work, not all that regularly, but also regularly enough. Mostly bits of folk magic, occasionally some revival druid magic with ceremonial roots - nothing involving hours of work or lots of ritual - but I still often find it exhausting, especially the next day, when I might end up in bed for hours. This is obviously not sustainable.

Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells? Everyone I've asked has just said "Don't work magic when you're ill." Um, well, that's all the time... I'm sure there must be ways to protect my energy levels and health. I've done a lot of work on grounding and centring, I've warded the space I work in, I call on deities for protection, and I try not to jump into brand new things without working up to them. Magic is creative and empowering for me. I'm new to it, but I'm really enjoying learning it. I'm sure there must be a solution. Advice welcome!
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Dark Midnight

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2013, 12:06:51 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95307
Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells? Everyone I've asked has just said "Don't work magic when you're ill." Um, well, that's all the time... I'm sure there must be ways to protect my energy levels and health. I've done a lot of work on grounding and centring, I've warded the space I work in, I call on deities for protection, and I try not to jump into brand new things without working up to them. Magic is creative and empowering for me. I'm new to it, but I'm really enjoying learning it. I'm sure there must be a solution. Advice welcome!

I suffer from quite a few chronic illnesses, so I can completely empathise with you.  

I try not do do any workings when I am feeling at my lowest points because I know that I can't spare the energy. Have you ever tried keeping a diary to show when your energy levels are at whichever levels? Both on a daily and monthly basis? I did it for about 3 months and it really helped me to pinpoint when is a good time for workings and when I should stay as far away from it as possible.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 12:37:06 pm by SunflowerP »
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2013, 12:08:31 pm »
Quote



I suffer from quite a few chronic illnesses, so I can completely empathise with you.  

I try not do do any workings when I am feeling at my lowest points because I know that I can't spare the energy. Have you ever tried keeping a diary to show when your energy levels are at whichever levels? Both on a daily and monthly basis? I did it for about 3 months and it really helped me to pinpoint when is a good time for workings and when I should stay as far away from it as possible.[
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Dark Midnight

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2013, 12:11:17 pm »
Quote from: Dark Midnight;95309
I suffer from quite a few chronic illnesses, so I can completely empathise with you.  

I try not do do any workings when I am feeling at my lowest points because I know that I can't spare the energy. Have you ever tried keeping a diary to show when your energy levels are at whichever levels? Both on a daily and monthly basis? I did it for about 3 months and it really helped me to pinpoint when is a good time for workings and when I should stay as far away from it as possible.[

 
Sorry- I have no idea what's happened with these replies! :ashamed:
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Marilyn/Absentminded

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2013, 12:19:02 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95307

Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells?


I have cardiovascular disease, CHF, and diabetes.  (Hello, my name is Marilyn ...)  I have found a few things I just can't do but I have found workarounds for most of them.

I can't move energy through my body.  I've had a lot of people tell me that that was psychosomatic, and I honestly tried to overcome it, but a few years ago I saw the progression clearly.  I was discussing energy movement on TC (the SMF board, I think) and I decided to give it another try.  The next post was from my sister-in-law or my husband (a bit fuzzy on that) that I had had another heart attack.  It was in early January and, being all written out in real time, so to speak, I was able to see that it wasn't my imagination - my body is not stable enough to move energy through.

So now I don't worry about it.  If I raise energy for something I use a vessel of some kind, a stone or a poppet f'ex.  I don't try to run any of the energy pentacles (that was what I was trying to do at the time) and I don't use any system that requires it.

In fact, I've made kind of a study of magical systems.  There is very little that I can't do.  Some things will exhaust me and I haven't found any alternatives for them, but I try to make sure, if I have to do the full meal deal for a spell, that I have a clear schedule the next day.  I'm lucky in that my husband, while not a magic worker himself, understands what is happening and arranges things to be as easy on me as possible afterwards.  If that means waiting on me, he's fine with it.  If it means running out for certain foods that I suddenly realise will help, he does that. (He's kind of like a familiar in human shape :) )

The best thing I can advise is to accommodate your body.  You need it, it's important, don't stress it without due cause.  There is almost always another way to do something.  You just have to figure it out or invent it.  You adjust other parts of your life because of illness, why would you expect to do magic the same way others do?  It's the results that matter, not the method or the adherence to instructions.

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2013, 12:38:13 pm »
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;95314
I have cardiovascular disease, CHF, and diabetes.  (Hello, my name is Marilyn ...)


::waves::  Hi, Marilyn!

Seriously, though, to follow up on the point that Absent has made, is it possible, Sophia, for you to work with energy outside your body without engaging your own personal energy?  Assuming you've checked your auric field during grounding and centering for leaks and cords that may be siphoning off your energy (think energy vampires in one form or another) working with external sources may be your best bet.

I rarely pour my own personal energy into any working as the sole source of empowerment.  Sure, I'll use it as a seed to get things going but then I pull in energy from all four classic elements (earth, air, fire, water) depending on the needs of what I'm working on.  If I have access to a natural source - lakes, waterfalls, forest, river, ocean, storms, etc. - I'll pull from there.  I have even used a braided, woven blend of all four elements to create a seed of energy which I then grounded into the earth, much as I would ground myself.  I then set it up so the energy recirculated itself along the lines of a fountain.  Once the construct was in place it was a simple matter of focusing on it periodically and growing it slowly - kind of a man made pool of water or well that I could use at my own discretion.
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2013, 12:50:24 pm »
Quote from: Dark Midnight;95311
Sorry- I have no idea what's happened with these replies! :ashamed:

 
Messed-up quote codes.  The first one, it was just that you'd accidentally cut out the close bracket ( ] ) on the opening code when you deleted the superfluous text from the quote, which I've fixed.  The second one, you've got all the quoting parts of the code but not the username/post number that would give the trackback - since it includes no quoted text, and the quote and close quote codes are very carefully on different lines, I suspect you were reflexively thinking "quote problem: solve by putting code bits on separate lines" even though it wasn't that particular problem in this case.

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Sophia C

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2013, 01:03:44 pm »
There are some great ideas here - thanks, all. I'll respond in separate posts.

Quote from: Oaksworn;95317
to follow up on the point that Absent has made, is it possible, Sophia, for you to work with energy outside your body without engaging your own personal energy?  Assuming you've checked your auric field during grounding and centering for leaks and cords that may be siphoning off your energy (think energy vampires in one form or another) working with external sources may be your best bet.


I could definitely do more work with outside energy. I may be pulling too much from my own energy. I work outside when I can, and find that really energising - but at this time of year especially, getting outside is very hard, as I'm mostly housebound. It's better in the summer, when I find myself naturally doing more work out in the land. (Working with land spirits is generally quite effective for me, anyway.)

Quote from: Oaksworn;95317
I rarely pour my own personal energy into any working as the sole source of empowerment.  Sure, I'll use it as a seed to get things going but then I pull in energy from all four classic elements (earth, air, fire, water) depending on the needs of what I'm working on.  If I have access to a natural source - lakes, waterfalls, forest, river, ocean, storms, etc. - I'll pull from there.  I have even used a braided, woven blend of all four elements to create a seed of energy which I then grounded into the earth, much as I would ground myself.  I then set it up so the energy recirculated itself along the lines of a fountain.  Once the construct was in place it was a simple matter of focusing on it periodically and growing it slowly - kind of a man made pool of water or well that I could use at my own discretion.

 
Having a neuro-divergent brain, I'm not always very good with energetic constructs. I'm not good with the four elements, either, although I try. Symbols work very well for me, though (and now I'm wondering about sigils or amulets to focus energy through). Circles are also a possibility here. I have some ideological issues with casting circles - but when I do work with the OBOD-style circle, with its nature and animal symbols for each of the directions and elements, I sometimes find that I'm naturally drawing more on energy from outside myself. It might be worth doing more work in circles for energy-raising purposes. Thanks - you've made me think there!
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Sophia C

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2013, 01:20:24 pm »
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;95314
I can't move energy through my body.  I've had a lot of people tell me that that was psychosomatic, and I honestly tried to overcome it, but a few years ago I saw the progression clearly.  I was discussing energy movement on TC (the SMF board, I think) and I decided to give it another try.  The next post was from my sister-in-law or my husband (a bit fuzzy on that) that I had had another heart attack.  It was in early January and, being all written out in real time, so to speak, I was able to see that it wasn't my imagination - my body is not stable enough to move energy through.


Wow. OK, I can see the need to be careful in that situation.

Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;95314
There is very little that I can't do.  Some things will exhaust me and I haven't found any alternatives for them, but I try to make sure, if I have to do the full meal deal for a spell, that I have a clear schedule the next day.


Sensible. If I had to walk further than I usually can, I'd allow for a day's rest afterwards. I should be thinking about magic just as practically.

Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;95314
The best thing I can advise is to accommodate your body.  You need it, it's important, don't stress it without due cause.  There is almost always another way to do something.  You just have to figure it out or invent it.  You adjust other parts of your life because of illness, why would you expect to do magic the same way others do?  It's the results that matter, not the method or the adherence to instructions.


This a very good point. And I suspect inexperience is my problem here. There are some things that I'm still doing based on instructions because I'm new to them. But, like when I do yoga and I just know my body well enough to adapt around it, there's probably a lot of ways I could adapt my approach to magic. The concept of accommodation works with my personal ethic, too, which helps.

Working with folk magic has been one of my adaptations already. That includes bits and pieces of hoodoo, which at first worried me  -concerns about cultural appropriation and eclecticism, as well as its Christian framework, not to mention wanting to work in ways that make more 'sense' with modern druidry and Gaelic polytheism. But the latter is a long-term project, the Christian framework actually works fine for me as long as I keep it separate from my Pagan one, and I expect I'll just have to keep working through the worries of cultural appropriation. As for eclecticism - well, if it works...
 
Quote from: Dark Midnight;95308
Have you ever tried keeping a diary to show when your energy levels are at whichever levels? Both on a daily and monthly basis? I did it for about 3 months and it really helped me to pinpoint when is a good time for workings and when I should stay as far away from it as possible.


This is another very good idea. I know that my energy (physical and psychic) varies enormously through the month and, to some extent, the day. I've only ever kept really vague records of this. I'll keep a better note of it. Thanks!
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2013, 02:38:27 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95323
I work outside when I can, and find that really energising - but at this time of year especially, getting outside is very hard, as I'm mostly housebound.


Don't confuse outside yourself as needing to be outside of the house either.  Just because you're in the house doesn't mean that you can't reach outside those four walls for energy.

Quote
I have some ideological issues with casting circles - but when I do work with the OBOD-style circle, with its nature and animal symbols for each of the directions and elements, I sometimes find that I'm naturally drawing more on energy from outside myself. It might be worth doing more work in circles for energy-raising purposes.


Sounds like you're on to a process that works well for you.  Might as well experiment with that some and see where it takes you.  Another thought on energy raising - you mention yoga.  I know some folks use martial arts and dance as a means of raising energy, do you feel an increase in your energy after a yoga session?  I recall back in college after a gymnastics workout that I would be radiating energy both physically and etherically.  If it works similarly for you with yoga, even if the effect is softer, perhaps you can incorporate a sun salute or some other sequence before you cast an OBOD circle and see how that works for you.

Quote
Thanks - you've made me think there!


Happy to be of service.  :)
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2013, 04:14:37 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95307

Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells? Everyone I've asked has just said "Don't work magic when you're ill." Um, well, that's all the time... I'm sure there must be ways to protect my energy levels and health.

 
[Thyroid and Vitamin D issues, asthma and lung scarring that means colds wipe me out for a good two months when I get them, plus the occasional migraine. I am *finally* recovering enough physical stamina from the health crash 3 years ago that walking a mile at a time is not a dire thing anymore.]

My basic advice:

- There's a certain amount of physical prep/cleanup for my ritual work (tidying the physical space, setting up the altar, etc.) While my health has been tedious, I split those up from the actual ritual work. (This means I do ritual less often, generally, but.)

Usually it's a day for general house cleaning, a day for rounding up everything I need and setting up as much of the altar as can be done in advance, a day for ritual, and then a day for putting everything away. I hate that part, a bit, but it's better than crashing hard the next day from doing it all at once.

- I also plan recovery time - right now, it's very rare for me to do much ritual work unless I have the day entirely free the next day, just because how it affects me is still variable.

So, for example, I have a trad-specific ritual I pretty much need to do this weekend, because it has a specific timing. Today I am doing laundry. Tomorrow I am finishing cleaning the apartment, having done some of it last weekend. Friday, I will vacuum and dig out the stuff I need for ritual. Saturday I will do the ritual. Sunday, I will plan to nap. In March, I'll be travelling and helping with some initiations, probably, but I don't have to do the set-up for that, just show up and do some of the energetic heavy lifting.

- Work to 80% of what I think I can do. Where 'what I think I can do' is based on recent practical data, not wishful thinking. (Right now, that means 'formal structured ritual every few weeks, with plenty of time between, and not pushing my rituals more in length than complexity than I absolutely have to.)

- Build up methods (slowly, over time) that allow you to spend less energy on the set-up and structural pieces of ritual.

F'ex, my trad's methods of creating ritual space were thoroughly set in my psyche before my health took a nosedive. Using those methods is still a lot easier for me than anything else, even if the other stuff looks like it'll be less energy: it's less for me to mentally keep track of, I can tap into related sources, etc. (More on that below.)

- Tools exist for a reason. Properly developed, magical tools hold energy that you can then use more easily next time.

They make doing certain specific things take less attention/focus to maintain. They may make it take less energy to invite a certain deity, or to encourage a certain mindset (easier trance induction, etc.) Same thing with cues (say certain phrases to me - or even use a certain name. Even use it to myself, inside my head - and I drop into spaces where the energetic work is easier. Never *easy*, but smoother. And every bit of reduced drag helps.)

Setting those cues up takes time and repetition, but I have found they pay off a dozen times over (more than that. Hundreds of times over.)

- And finally, being really really thoughtful where I spend my energy. Weekends I plan to do ritual, I plan cooking differently. I swap when my bath is. I look for ways to save extra steps. I make sure all the ritual bits I want to do are actually serving the ritual purpose. I build in stuff that helps my energy (lying down to rest for a bit - even just being horizontal for 20 minutes helps - or music) I avoid doing stuff that feels draining, for a day or two in advance.
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2013, 05:49:43 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95307


Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells? Everyone I've asked has just said "Don't work magic when you're ill." Um, well, that's all the time... I'm sure there must be ways to protect my energy levels and health. I've done a lot of work on grounding and centring, I've warded the space I work in, I call on deities for protection, and I try not to jump into brand new things without working up to them. Magic is creative and empowering for me. I'm new to it, but I'm really enjoying learning it. I'm sure there must be a solution. Advice welcome!

 
I have ADPKD, so suffer from exhaustion quite regularly, but I find that using elemental energy very useful. up until recently, I could only utilise earth, because i could draw from there easily. Now I draw on all 4 (earth, Air, Fire and Water) and I seem to be able to almost charge myself up like a battery. In some cases, I have been known to leak energy if I stop paying attention to my energy levels too.

One thing I found very helpful for learning to use energy was going to a T'ai Chi class, where you learn how the energy flows work in your body and what you are feeling for.

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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2013, 06:52:09 pm »
Quote from: Sophia Catherine;95307
Does anyone, especially other folks with chronic illness, have any tips for not draining your energy down to minimal levels with even the most straightforward of spells? Everyone I've asked has just said "Don't work magic when you're ill." Um, well, that's all the time... I'm sure there must be ways to protect my energy levels and health.

Consider learning forms of magic that do not draw most of their energy from you or require you to exhaust yourself raising energy directly for the spell. Unfortunately, the most popular forms of "pagan" magic today seem to be based on the caster powering the spell, either directly with their own energy or by raising the energy directly, generally through some type of activity that drains the caster's energy.

Some forms of magic that need not use a lot of personal energy involve manipulating symbols that have their own power: runes, tarot cards, etc. These methods tend to be slower than the more direct methods of magic, however.
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Re: Working magic with a chronic illness
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2013, 10:36:10 am »
Quote from: Jenett;95336

My basic advice:

- There's a certain amount of physical prep/cleanup for my ritual work (tidying the physical space, setting up the altar, etc.) While my health has been tedious, I split those up from the actual ritual work. (This means I do ritual less often, generally, but.)

Usually it's a day for general house cleaning, a day for rounding up everything I need and setting up as much of the altar as can be done in advance, a day for ritual, and then a day for putting everything away. I hate that part, a bit, but it's better than crashing hard the next day from doing it all at once.

- I also plan recovery time - right now, it's very rare for me to do much ritual work unless I have the day entirely free the next day, just because how it affects me is still variable.


All good advice. Splitting up work and factoring in recovery time are natural to me in most other circumstances. I'm sure I can adapt magical work in that direction.

Quote from: Jenett;95336

- Work to 80% of what I think I can do. Where 'what I think I can do' is based on recent practical data, not wishful thinking. (Right now, that means 'formal structured ritual every few weeks, with plenty of time between, and not pushing my rituals more in length than complexity than I absolutely have to.)

- Build up methods (slowly, over time) that allow you to spend less energy on the set-up and structural pieces of ritual.


The 80% rule is a good one, that I could afford to apply a lot of areas of my life. I can see the sense of stopping before I'm at the bottom of my energy meter. I do need that energy for other things, after all. The advice about length, complexity and frequency is also really good. I tend to want to push things a long way, mainly to prove my commitment and piety - so I'll burn the candle on a honey jar three times a week when once a week would probably have been fine. I worry about being sloppy or superficial about things. But, thinking honestly, that's not really what I'm at risk of being! I'll give that some thought. Thanks. Same goes for building up methods that require less set-up and structure (although I mostly do low magic and really don't worry too much about things being beautiful or well-prepared).

Quote from: Jenett;95336

- Tools exist for a reason. Properly developed, magical tools hold energy that you can then use more easily next time.

They make doing certain specific things take less attention/focus to maintain. They may make it take less energy to invite a certain deity, or to encourage a certain mindset (easier trance induction, etc.) Same thing with cues (say certain phrases to me - or even use a certain name. Even use it to myself, inside my head - and I drop into spaces where the energetic work is easier. Never *easy*, but smoother. And every bit of reduced drag helps.)

Setting those cues up takes time and repetition, but I have found they pay off a dozen times over (more than that. Hundreds of times over.)


This is *extremely* thought-provoking - thank you. I'm not really one for complicated or elegant magical tools, being of the opinion that (almost) everything I need for magic can be found in nature - but I could sometimes deviate from that a little bit. I have a friend offering to make a staff or wand for me, and I might take them up on it and see if having someone else charge an object makes a difference. I might revisit the tools idea generally.

This also ties in with my earlier thoughts about using a sigil or symbol to hold energy. I could carve that onto a physical tool and see if that helps.

Thanks for your thoughts!
 
Quote from: RandallS;95361
Some forms of magic that need not use a lot of personal energy involve manipulating symbols that have their own power: runes, tarot cards, etc. These methods tend to be slower than the more direct methods of magic, however.


I do work with Ogham in this way, a bit. I could definitely develop that further, as it is a very different approach in terms of energy, and a less draining one. That, too, ties in with the symbols idea that this thread has brought up a few times. Thanks for the suggestion.
"We're all stories, in the end. Make it a good one, eh?"
- Doctor Who

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