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Author Topic: Alternative/Revisionist Histories What are some doozies you've heard?  (Read 25398 times)

Lokabrenna

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What are some doozies you've heard?
« on: July 11, 2011, 08:19:40 pm »
I don't recall seeing a section for this sort of thing on the old board. Thanks for including it here if that is the case!

I'm assuming most of us have heard of the "Golden Age Matriarchy" theory, where we were all peaceful human beings until "the Patriarchy"/Christianity/whoever came along, or how nine million women were murdered during "the Burning Times" but what are some other wild claims that you've heard?

I'm now posting regularly on a Catholic forum, and the discussion came up about sacrifice in Paganism(s) and one (well-meaning) poster remarked (and I quote):

Quote
"...thousands of years before Christ even lived, the lands were loved, animals cherished and Gods worshipped[sic], and not a lot of animal sacrificing was done, except to put food in the belly's[sic] of their children."

Here's a link to the post, for contextual purposes: http://forums.catholic.com/showpost.php?p=8028932&postcount=58

What?

Look, I know it's important to stress that modern Pagans don't (usually) practice animal sacrifice (and certainly not human sacrifice) but many cultures did, frequently.

Other things I've heard:

"The Vikings were peaceful traders."
"Tarot is ancient." (15th century Italy is ancient now?)
"Hawaiians were vegetarian before the Europeans came along."
"The Runic language is all that is left of the ancient Wiccan language that existed in the time of the matriarchies..." (This is lifted word for word from Z. Budapest's Holy Book of Women's Mysteries (2007 edition, p. 214)

I have some that are god specific, but I wasn't sure if they should be put here.

What are some others you've heard?
« Last Edit: January 22, 2020, 10:28:52 am by SunflowerP »

Asch

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2011, 08:25:56 pm »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;4051
I don't recall seeing a section for this sort of thing on the old board. Thanks for including it here if that is the case!

I'm assuming most of us have heard of the "Golden Age Matriarchy" theory, where we were all peaceful human beings until "the Patriarchy"/Christianity/whoever came along, or how nine million women were murdered during "the Burning Times" but what are some other wild claims that you've heard?

I'm now posting regularly on a Catholic forum, and the discussion came up about sacrifice in Paganism(s) and one (well-meaning) poster remarked (and I quote):



Here's a link to the post, for contextual purposes: http://forums.catholic.com/showpost.php?p=8028932&postcount=58

What?

Look, I know it's important to stress that modern Pagans don't (usually) practice animal sacrifice (and certainly not human sacrifice) but many cultures did, frequently.

Other things I've heard:

"The Vikings were peaceful traders."
"Tarot is ancient." (15th century Italy is ancient now?)
"Hawaiians were vegetarian before the Europeans came along."
"The Runic language is all that is left of the ancient Wiccan language that existed in the time of the matriarchies..." (This is lifted word for word from Z. Budapest's Holy Book of Women's Mysteries (2007 edition, p. 214)

I have some that are god specific, but I wasn't sure if they should be put here.

What are some others you've heard?

 
I'm a mailing list where someone recently posted a link to a poorly written blog describing the author's attempt to create gelmetira (I could be spelling that all wrong, supposedly its a term for the kabbala's use of the Hebrew alphabet regarding numbrers) via ogam. There was much snickering and head scratching as the Hebrew alphabet has literal correspondences with numbers and ogam...well, doesn't.

JuniperMorgan

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2011, 08:47:41 pm »
Quote from: Asch;4055
I'm a mailing list where someone recently posted a link to a poorly written blog describing the author's attempt to create gelmetira (I could be spelling that all wrong, supposedly its a term for the kabbala's use of the Hebrew alphabet regarding numbrers) via ogam. There was much snickering and head scratching as the Hebrew alphabet has literal correspondences with numbers and ogam...well, doesn't.

 
my favorite to laugh at of late is the reptilians or *ahem* "Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity"...  here's a link to a guy talking about it on YouTube in all deadly seriousness.  I can't help but wonder which came first - the doctor who episode with sentient reptilians in the center of the earth sleeping, or these guys.  You can blame a friend of mine for me having this link...she sent it to me - I don't go searching this stuff out.

You can also find my ramblings at my blog although I\'m not the best at regular updates.  I\'m working on fixing that. Or look for me on FB here or Google+ here. :)

Starglade

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2011, 08:49:44 pm »
Quote from: Asch;4055
I'm a mailing list where someone recently posted a link to a poorly written blog describing the author's attempt to create gelmetira (I could be spelling that all wrong, supposedly its a term for the kabbala's use of the Hebrew alphabet regarding numbrers) via ogam. There was much snickering and head scratching as the Hebrew alphabet has literal correspondences with numbers and ogam...well, doesn't.

 
Gematria. (I remember this for a few reasons, the most recent of which involves an episode of "Numb3rs" guest-starring the actress who played Tommy's (Dennis Leary's) wife in "Rescue Me" as a--well, something more than a numerologist . . . )

Anyway, it was cool. Gematria. That's the word you want.
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Lokabrenna

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2011, 09:01:43 pm »
Quote from: JuniperMorgan;4062
my favorite to laugh at of late is the reptilians or *ahem* "Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity"...  here's a link to a guy talking about it on YouTube in all deadly seriousness.  I can't help but wonder which came first - the doctor who episode with sentient reptilians in the center of the earth sleeping, or these guys.  You can blame a friend of mine for me having this link...she sent it to me - I don't go searching this stuff out.



I believe they had an interview with one guy who makes that claim on "Penn and Teller: Bullshit!". It was...interesting...

sailor

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2011, 09:19:54 pm »
Quote from: JuniperMorgan;4062
my favorite to laugh at of late is the reptilians or *ahem* "Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity"...  here's a link to a guy talking about it on YouTube in all deadly seriousness.  I can't help but wonder which came first - the doctor who episode with sentient reptilians in the center of the earth sleeping, or these guys.  You can blame a friend of mine for me having this link...she sent it to me - I don't go searching this stuff out.


 
Oh, but the reptiles are in control. Well, the Lizardoids from LGF funded by the ZOG. /something

lets see. I've got a couple of former shipmates who prattle on about the UN taking all our guns or putting a UN flag on our Navy ships.

Waterfall

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2011, 01:34:02 am »
Quote from: JuniperMorgan;4062
my favorite to laugh at of late is the reptilians or *ahem* "Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity"...  here's a link to a guy talking about it on YouTube in all deadly seriousness.  I can't help but wonder which came first - the doctor who episode with sentient reptilians in the center of the earth sleeping, or these guys.  You can blame a friend of mine for me having this link...she sent it to me - I don't go searching this stuff out.


 
I want to laugh. I really do. But the sad thing is, my biological father believes in this stuff. I once got into it with him and went through all the differences between reptiles and humans and how "lizard people" make no sense, and even if there were highly intelligent reptiles, it makes absolutely no sense that they would have evolved into the same body form. That's when he disowned me.

victoreia

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2011, 03:28:00 am »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;4051
I don't recall seeing a section for this sort of thing on the old board. Thanks for including it here if that is the case!
Other things I've heard:

"Hawaiians were vegetarian before the Europeans came along."


Eh? I'm sure the fish around the Islands would beg to differ!

Quote
What are some others you've heard?

 
I'll have to ponder this; I'm sure I've heard at least one bit of ridiculousness.....
Do. Or do not. There is no try.  --Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

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JuniperMorgan

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2011, 06:36:23 am »
Quote from: Waterfall;4154
I want to laugh. I really do. But the sad thing is, my biological father believes in this stuff. I once got into it with him and went through all the differences between reptiles and humans and how "lizard people" make no sense, and even if there were highly intelligent reptiles, it makes absolutely no sense that they would have evolved into the same body form. That's when he disowned me.

 
I'm so sorry Waterfall.  From the description of your location, I grew up in the state next door (UT).  There's a LOT of questionable theories out there when you're exposed to the locals for any great length of time, and disowning for disagreeing (especially if you can prove you point and disprove theirs) is not uncommon.  You have my sympathies dear. *hug*
You can also find my ramblings at my blog although I\'m not the best at regular updates.  I\'m working on fixing that. Or look for me on FB here or Google+ here. :)

Tana

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2011, 02:31:02 pm »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;4051


 
Basically everything that Erich von Däniken has ever written.

Oh my, how were people able to depict an anatomically correct skeleton? Before the times of x-rays? OMG, must have been the aliens... well, erm... yeah, sure. :rolleyes:
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That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
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Confuzzled and proud. :p

HeartShadow

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2011, 05:41:50 pm »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;4051


 
Unfortunately I can't find the links, and there's a limit as to how much I WANT to wade through google for this stuff!

Sporks cause transsexualism.

My Little Pony is all about prostitution.

The Catholic Church was following some dude and pumping "homosexualist gas" into his room at night.

I know there's more crazy, but those are the ones that REALLY stick.

Asch

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2011, 05:57:20 pm »
Quote from: HeartShadow;4321
Unfortunately I can't find the links, and there's a limit as to how much I WANT to wade through google for this stuff!

Sporks cause transsexualism.

My Little Pony is all about prostitution.

The Catholic Church was following some dude and pumping "homosexualist gas" into his room at night.

I know there's more crazy, but those are the ones that REALLY stick.

 
About ten years ago I remember hearing some woman on NPR ranting about Clifford the Big Red Dog being communist propaganda.

Lokabrenna

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2011, 06:03:13 pm »
Quote from: HeartShadow;4321


My Little Pony is all about prostitution.



I would LOVE to hear the reasoning behind this one. I had a small collection of MLPs when I was little. I have no idea where they are now.

It sounds a lot like the "Harry Potter turns kids into witches/Satanists/whatever" crowd.

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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2011, 07:27:37 pm »
Quote from: HeartShadow;4321
Sporks cause transsexualism.


Sporks!

I blamed yams, once, one very awkward Thanksgiving many years ago.
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Re: What are some doozies you've heard?
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2011, 07:45:34 pm »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;4051
What are some others you've heard?

 
Besides the ones that were already mention in this thread?

Well, there is always the crazy shit that comes up on TC from time to time (this section was actually created as a dumping ground for said shit so members can easily ignore it).

But aside from that:

1. The Freemasons are out to remove religion and create a secular humanist society and/or do the work of Satan (both are more or less the same thing in the minds of the people who believe it).  You can easily find sinister clues they left on the back of the One (US) Dollar Bill and in the geography of Washington, D.C.

2. The Statue of Liberty was commissioned by the Illuminati and really represents Lucifer.

3. Jack the Ripper was really Queen Victoria's elderly surgeon who was trying to cover up The Duke of Clarence's bastard child with a prostitute.

4.  The Jack the Ripper murders were committed by the Freemasons for some unknown but nefarious (and possibly Satanic) reasons.  Ties in with the theory at the top of the list.

5.  Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper

6.  Basically a lot of things involving Jack the Ripper....I have very morbid interests.

7.  The British Royal Family killed Diana because she was about to marry a Muslim (according to Mohamed Al-Fayed.  He also said Prince Phillip is a Nazi).

8.  Speaking of Nazis, Hitler apparently escaped Germany and spent the next 20-30 years hiding in Argentina.

9.  JFK was killed by either the mafia, Cubans, Soviets, the CIA, FBI or a combination of any of them.  The second gunman was either behind a stockade fence on the Grassy Knoll, hidden in a storm drain or on top of the overpass where a lot of people would see him.

10.  9/11 was caused by the Jews and/or was committed by the US Government itself as an excuse to invade the Middle East and take their oil.


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