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Author Topic: The dead  (Read 917 times)

Stardancer

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The dead
« on: April 12, 2012, 01:45:42 pm »
Thanks to Sekhmet, I've started poking my nose into the Kemetic path. The gods appeal to me, the concept of Ma'at appeals - and it's at the very origin of the hermetic stuff that also appeals to me. I'm using the astrological cycle of deities that Rosemary Clark sets out in 'The sacred magic of Ancient Egypt' (with the understanding that a- this would not be the cycle that the egyptians used and therefore b- is only a framework for approaching each god in turn to get to know them). For the time corresponding to Aries, she suggests Wesir/Ausir, so I started setting out water for Him.

So far, well and good. But Wesir is lord of the West and the Dead, and suddenly I run headlong into a problem.

Personal history; almost 13 years ago, my best friend was murdered. I had dreams afterwards about her coming back and me trying to tell her she was dead. Nothing mystical about those dreams - just my brain trying to cope with loss. I've never had any problem reaching out to shades, spirits, Gods, or what have you. Not scared of them at all (sometimes stupidly so, but hey! I was young!). But the dead... I am terrified of actually reaching my friend or my own ancestors. My brain somehow translates 'offering to ancestors' into 'talking to the dead', with sparkly connotations of rotting corpses, zombies, ghosts or hollow shells or something else funfilled and horror-movie-ish. Maybe it's a fear that the loss will be more real if I actually do touch them on the other side.

Death itself is not a problem. My patrons involve the growth and decay cycle (Gaia), and a hunter (Pan). I'm an omnivore who's entirely clear on where my next meal is comming from. I've been suicidally depressed at one point. I also have more scorpio/pluto/8. house in my chart than you can shake a stick at. No, death doesn't scare me at all.

But the dead themselves..

I guess this muddle is a way of trying to express that there is a rift between my fears and the path I'm trying to investigate, and I'm looking for some ideas or suggestions as to how to breach the rift.
My (mainly) astrological blog
http://sidselh.livejournal.com/ Last update 25. oct \'11

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