Author Topic: Alone (Read 4917 times)

outlaw393 · « **on:** February 04, 2012, 01:27:31 pm »

With the breakup from my Wiccan boyfriend, I am officially alone on the Wiccan path once again. However, to me there's not a whole lot that feels worse than being alone. While I am steadfast in my beliefs and I know my Gods, I am left wondering...can I do this again? Can I walk this road all alone?

I am having doubts, and I feel distant from the Gods. The last time I was alone as a Wiccan, I simply gave up, and went back to my childhood religion - Christianity.

Obviously this time I'm more well equipped spiritually and emotionally and so thankfully that's not an option. Though I have seriously thought about it...and then I go, "Man, I'd have to be crazy to go back there."

My Patron has been calling me back, but honestly I'm not feeling too well to receive Him. He's been absent for so long, and like anyone else, you can't just be gone for almost 2 years and then call on the phone one day and expect me to take you back like nothing happened. :stop: The God has been absent from my religious practices completely since I rededicated as Wiccan. While I recognize the existence of a God(s), I don't presently honor any.

HeartShadow · « **Reply #1 on:** February 04, 2012, 02:14:56 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41493

My Patron has been calling me back, but honestly I'm not feeling too well to receive Him. He's been absent for so long, and like anyone else, you can't just be gone for almost 2 years and then call on the phone one day and expect me to take you back like nothing happened. :stop: The God has been absent from my religious practices completely since I rededicated as Wiccan. While I recognize the existence of a God(s), I don't presently honor any.

This, to me, says Wicca might be the wrong path. Maybe you should look around in other pagan religions?

outlaw393 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 04, 2012, 02:43:36 pm »

Quote from: HeartShadow;41494

This, to me, says Wicca might be the wrong path. Maybe you should look around in other pagan religions?

I have investigated many, many pagan religions and none fit my beliefs.
One is not required to honor both deities in their practices, they are merely required to believe in them.

I don't follow any specific tradition, I am eclectic and I follow my own.

outlaw393 · « **Reply #3 on:** February 05, 2012, 02:10:29 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41493

My Patron has been calling me back, but honestly I'm not feeling too well to receive Him. The God has been absent from my religious practices completely since I rededicated as Wiccan. While I recognize the existence of a God(s), I don't presently honor any.

There is one thing I've thought about doing for my Patron. One is a reliquary box. Taking a bunch of things that remind me of him, anointing it all, and putting it into a wooden box. Then it would be a part of my already existing altar. While this sounds like a fun "scavenger hunt", it would also cost way too much money to acquire much of the stuff inside the box.

I can't figure out why my Patron was absent for so long but now is knocking at the door, so to speak, and wants to come in now. My question then becomes, where have you been? And while I've been dealing with him directly for years (before his unexplained absence), another question I still haven't figured out the answer to is why he's chosen me. Why me?

It's both a blessing and a curse to have this god choose you. Why me?

I am only thinking now of possibly opening the door and inviting him back into my life. Couldn't hurt, right. Right??

Nyktelios · « **Reply #4 on:** February 05, 2012, 03:47:23 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41588

I can't figure out why my Patron was absent for so long but now is knocking at the door, so to speak, and wants to come in now. My question then becomes, where have you been? And while I've been dealing with him directly for years (before his unexplained absence), another question I still haven't figured out the answer to is why he's chosen me. Why me?

Maybe you don't necessarily need a path, you just need to follow your patron. Pray to him, honour him, and don't worry to much about labeling yourself. Community is a big part of religion, it can be hard to keep up momentum if you feel alone on your path.

outlaw393 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 05, 2012, 04:19:02 pm »

Quote from: Carnelian;41609

Maybe you don't necessarily need a path, you just need to follow your patron. Pray to him, honour him, and don't worry to much about labeling yourself. Community is a big part of religion, it can be hard to keep up momentum if you feel alone on your path.

Agreed. Perhaps I don't necessarily need a path.

Sometimes however I wonder if the hardship in my life wasn't caused by the fact that this god chose me. It can be both a "blessing and a curse" and "awesome and terrible" when he chooses you. My life the last two years (the last time I saw him was about two years ago) has been nothing but hardship.

Perhaps I need to stop listening to urban and Asatru legends. :eek:

outlaw393 · « **Reply #6 on:** February 06, 2012, 07:30:16 pm »

Quote from: Carnelian;41609

Maybe you don't necessarily need a path, you just need to follow your patron. Pray to him, honour him, and don't worry to much about labeling yourself. Community is a big part of religion, it can be hard to keep up momentum if you feel alone on your path.

I have made the conscious decision to let him in. We'll see how interesting things get. He's asking for a place on my altar. Not sure how to accommodate him. The only statue I have is of Zeus, not of Odin.

The reliquary box sounds like a fun idea, and would be a great starting place to honor him. Hmm.

outlaw393 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 07, 2012, 12:50:17 am »

Quote from: outlaw393;41772

The reliquary box sounds like a fun idea, and would be a great starting place to honor him. Hmm.

I'm happy to say I've officially started the reliquary box. I've compiled a list, and with the box included, it's a list of 30 items. I've realized I already have 12 of these items here with me. So that's cool. Some of the items I want to put in the box are expensive. Yikes. Might take me quite a while to compile the items. But that's ok, this is an act of honoring Him.

DaraD · « **Reply #8 on:** February 07, 2012, 03:33:20 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41789

I'm happy to say I've officially started the reliquary box. I've compiled a list, and with the box included, it's a list of 30 items. I've realized I already have 12 of these items here with me. So that's cool. Some of the items I want to put in the box are expensive. Yikes. Might take me quite a while to compile the items. But that's ok, this is an act of honoring Him.

Perhaps you can also view your "quest" to find these other items as a symbol of your growing relationship and re-connection with your patron? With each added item, your relationship could be seen as strengthening.

I read your previous posts and all I can say is a lot of the questions you were listing can only be answered by your patron, so inviting him back into your life is a good step in the right direction to finding those answers!

outlaw393 · « **Reply #9 on:** February 07, 2012, 03:43:02 pm »

Quote from: DaraD;41849

Perhaps you can also view your "quest" to find these other items as a symbol of your growing relationship and re-connection with your patron? With each added item, your relationship could be seen as strengthening.

I read your previous posts and all I can say is a lot of the questions you were listing can only be answered by your patron, so inviting him back into your life is a good step in the right direction to finding those answers!

I view it as a scavenger hunt. And scavenger hunts are fun! About 95% of the stuff I can find. There's a list of "9 sacred herbs" and about 85% of those herbs I can't find anywhere and/or don't know what they are. I've been Pagan a long time but I don't have a whole lot of experience with herbs and don't really work with them.

I'm still trying to figure out how to include him on my altar. Is that one question you said can only be answered by my patron?

Jenett · « **Reply #10 on:** February 07, 2012, 04:00:56 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41853

I view it as a scavenger hunt. And scavenger hunts are fun! About 95% of the stuff I can find. There's a list of "9 sacred herbs" and about 85% of those herbs I can't find anywhere and/or don't know what they are. I've been Pagan a long time but I don't have a whole lot of experience with herbs and don't really work with them.

Which herbs? (Sometimes there are alternate names, which can make figuring out what you're looking for confusing). That said, there are also places you can often order from who stock magical as well as medicinal herbs.

outlaw393 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 07, 2012, 04:26:51 pm »

Quote from: Jenett;41855

Which herbs? (Sometimes there are alternate names, which can make figuring out what you're looking for confusing). That said, there are also places you can often order from who stock magical as well as medicinal herbs.

I do believe the oil I'm supposed to mix and put in a vial for the box uses the 9 herbs as well that are affiliated with this God.

Mugwart- Artemisia vulgaris
Plantian- Plantago major
Watercress- Nasturium offcinalis
Betony- Stachys betonica
Camomile- Anthemis nobilis
Nettle – Urtica Dioca
Crab Apple – Pyrus malus
Chervil – Anthriscus cerefolium
Fennel – Foeniculum vulgare –

These are supposedly Odin's "9 sacred herbs"

Jenett · « **Reply #12 on:** February 07, 2012, 06:00:22 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41856

I do believe the oil I'm supposed to mix and put in a vial for the box uses the 9 herbs as well that are affiliated with this God.

Mugwart- Artemisia vulgaris
Plantian- Plantago major
Watercress- Nasturium offcinalis
Betony- Stachys betonica
Camomile- Anthemis nobilis
Nettle – Urtica Dioca
Crab Apple – Pyrus malus
Chervil – Anthriscus cerefolium
Fennel – Foeniculum vulgare –

These are supposedly Odin's "9 sacred herbs"

There are lots of lists of 9 sacred herbs out there, mind - but those are all relatively accessible in the US. (You do have a couple of typos there that might help in searches: Mugwort, Plantain, and Chamomile are the more common spellings.)

It's very difficult to make an essential oil in your own kitchen, but it's very inexpensive to make your own infused oil - you just need some amount of the herb (an ounce would do) and an oil - olive oil or sweet almond oil are common, enough to cover however much of the herb you're using. You can let it sit for a month (shaking daily, to make sure everything's covered) or heat it very gently on a stove for 10 minutes and then let it cool. Strain when it's done.

(You won't get a strong scent with this method with most herbs, especially if you start with dried, but for magical work, that's often just fine.)

If you want dry herbs, some of these can be found at a natural foods store - chamomile, fennel, and chervil are all cooking/common tisane herbs, and the same stores often carry nettle. Plantain grows all over the place (though not quite this time of year), and quite possibly within 100 feet of where you live. (Nettle probably grows near you too, and maybe several of the others.)

For buying, my usual starting point is Mountain Rose Herbs (http://mountainroseherbs.com), but it doesn't look like they have the crab apple. My former local esoteric store (I moved) doesn't either, which makes me wonder about your original source. (On the other hand, crab apples also grow in Wisconsin, so you could harvest your own, given some time. Other apple varieties should be pretty easy to come by.)

outlaw393 · « **Reply #13 on:** February 07, 2012, 07:04:48 pm »

Quote from: Jenett;41868

There are lots of lists of 9 sacred herbs out there, mind - but those are all relatively accessible in the US. (You do have a couple of typos there that might help in searches: Mugwort, Plantain, and Chamomile are the more common spellings.)

It's very difficult to make an essential oil in your own kitchen, but it's very inexpensive to make your own infused oil - you just need some amount of the herb (an ounce would do) and an oil - olive oil or sweet almond oil are common, enough to cover however much of the herb you're using. You can let it sit for a month (shaking daily, to make sure everything's covered) or heat it very gently on a stove for 10 minutes and then let it cool. Strain when it's done.

(You won't get a strong scent with this method with most herbs, especially if you start with dried, but for magical work, that's often just fine.)

If you want dry herbs, some of these can be found at a natural foods store - chamomile, fennel, and chervil are all cooking/common tisane herbs, and the same stores often carry nettle. Plantain grows all over the place (though not quite this time of year), and quite possibly within 100 feet of where you live. (Nettle probably grows near you too, and maybe several of the others.)

For buying, my usual starting point is Mountain Rose Herbs (http://mountainroseherbs.com), but it doesn't look like they have the crab apple. My former local esoteric store (I moved) doesn't either, which makes me wonder about your original source. (On the other hand, crab apples also grow in Wisconsin, so you could harvest your own, given some time. Other apple varieties should be pretty easy to come by.)

There will probably be typos...I copied and pasted from a website from a google search.

All the herbs are going to have to be dried, since they're going to be stored in the box with the rest of the stuff, probably in little sealed ziplock bags.

The crab apples would have to be dried. I know there's a bunch of crab apple trees around here somewhere. But once again, I know nothing about drying crab apples, and it's a bunch of work. It's easier to buy the herbs I can't find.

Also included in my list are things like Ash, Oak and Cedar twigs or leaves. Pretty sure we have that stuff here in WI too.

Thanks for the website.

DaraD · « **Reply #14 on:** February 08, 2012, 03:08:19 pm »

Quote from: outlaw393;41853

I'm still trying to figure out how to include him on my altar. Is that one question you said can only be answered by my patron?

I think asking him is a good place to start.

If you have other deities represented on your altar as well, you'll also want to ask them what they would be ok with. Some deities might not share well.

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Author Topic: Alone (Read 4917 times)

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