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Author Topic: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!  (Read 2075 times)

Jubes

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Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« on: February 01, 2012, 05:27:45 pm »
Kinda like the "Things I must remember by the cat and dog, only with the kids! (YEA it's been that kind of week! )
You don't even have to  be a parent to  appreciate this  thread!!!!:D:

1) "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" is a complete sentence.

2) When Mommy turns the music up so that the people across town can hear it that means she IS ignoring us and we should NEVER.EVER start a fist fight if the same room as her! :eek:

3) I am best to keep my mouthy comments in my head, if they fall out of my mouth I WILL loss privileges.

4)Throwing chairs isn't really a GOOD IDEA, nor is throwing a bowl at Mom's head, this kind of behavior gets me put to bed early AND all privileges taken away.

5) Picking on my brother/ step-brother/sister/step-sister is not a good idea, if I am the wrong person picking on an older child my chances of survival drop from 100% to around 10%!!! If I have really gotten on Mom's nerves she can't "SEE" what's happening! :eek:

6) No matter what number I am in the kid line there is always someone that WILL TELL on me.

7) Mom knows what I am doing at all times, she knows what I did BEFORE I did it and she knows where I hide the evidence, I must never try to pull the wool over her eyes, she's far to smart for that.

8) No matter what I say Mom KNOWS that the garbage didn't get under my bed by someone called "NOT ME" and she's not buying that "I didn't do it", "He did it", "Wasn't ME" did it either.

9)P.A days are NO FUN anymore, especially when Mom tells us that we are doing a major clean in our room because SOMETHING is living in there and she thinks it's under the bed!!!!!!

10) "NO!" is a complete sentence and I should really STOP bugging at this point...... :stop:
Armed with  common sense and worldly ways.......

RandallS

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Re: This I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2012, 06:25:23 pm »
Quote from: Jubes;41166
1) "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" is a complete sentence.

LOL! My mother always thought it was.
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free

Jubes

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Re: This I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2012, 07:27:10 pm »
Quote from: RandallS;41170
LOL! My mother always thought it was.

 
I have had to  explain this to a 15, 13 and 10 year old  more than ONCE a day  all week..... and tell them it's not supposed to be followed  by  "WHY?" :eek::eek:
Armed with  common sense and worldly ways.......

Arcadia

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2012, 12:16:23 am »
Quote from: Jubes;41166


*snip*

8) No matter what I say Mom KNOWS that the garbage didn't get under my bed by someone called "NOT ME" and she's not buying that "I didn't do it", "He did it", "Wasn't ME" did it either.


 
You have a 'Mr Nobody' at your place too? :eek:
Guided be the hand and mind
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Melamphoros

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2012, 12:20:56 am »
Quote from: Arcadia;41202
You have a 'Mr Nobody' at your place too? :eek:

 
EVERYONE has a Mr. Nobody.  He lives behind the water heater.


Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you will make a great sandwich.
My Spiritual Blog

Jubes

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2012, 12:35:36 am »
Quote from: Melamphoros;41203
EVERYONE has a Mr. Nobody.  He lives behind the water heater.

 
I think we have a bloody family of NOBODY's  behind our water heater!

Oh oh...

11) When Mom  says  "Tell me EXACTLY what happened NOW!" It's not really a  question but more of a command. Launching into a long winded story that  has NOTHING to  do with anything I am holding  or that is  broken at my  feet OR  made blood  spew forth from another child and  finishing  up the  story with " AND I'm telling  the  TRUTH"  OR " AND that is the  truth" MOM'S head WILL spin and   she WILL  speak in a  rather unnerving low,growling tone, at which time I will  quickly change   my  story to the "REAL TRUTH", which isn't anymore  believable that the "FAKE TRUTH". I get in just  as  much  trouble as if I would have just told the    HONEST  truth in the  first place.

Short  run down here:
FAKE TRUTH= blatant  lie
REAL TRUTH= blatant lie + tid bits of what really happened
HONEST TRUTH = What  really happened!
Apparently I must ask for the RIGHT  truth :eek: WHO KNEW????
Armed with  common sense and worldly ways.......

Dark Midnight

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2012, 03:03:32 am »
Quote from: Jubes;41205

Short  run down here:
FAKE TRUTH= blatant  lie
REAL TRUTH= blatant lie + tid bits of what really happened
HONEST TRUTH = What  really happened!
Apparently I must ask for the RIGHT  truth :eek: WHO KNEW????

 
I have that issue too.

12. I must not try and make smart alec comments whilst going up the stairs, thinking that mum can't hear me, because mum will hear me. She has ears like a bat when it comes to me. Smart mouth comments only lead to another yelling at, loss of my favourite play things and a very early bed time.
"No matter how dark the fur, the bunny is still fluffy." (Melamphoros)
AKA Thundercougarfalconbird..... (Thanks Nyktipolos!)

Stardancer

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2012, 03:12:13 am »
Quote from: Arcadia;41202
You have a 'Mr Nobody' at your place too? :eek:

 
Living next to 'Mr. I don't know'.

13. If mum tells another kid not to do something, it is NOT a request for me to start doing the same things. If something is forbidden for ONE, it is forbidden for ALL. (This particularly goes for singing at the table, repeating the same line over and over and over, and dancing in the sofa.)
My (mainly) astrological blog
http://sidselh.livejournal.com/ Last update 25. oct \'11

Dark Midnight

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2012, 03:49:28 am »
Quote from: Stardancer;41219
Living next to 'Mr. I don't know'.

13. If mum tells another kid not to do something, it is NOT a request for me to start doing the same things. If something is forbidden for ONE, it is forbidden for ALL. (This particularly goes for singing at the table, repeating the same line over and over and over, and dancing in the sofa.)

 
14. I really must remember not to play my parents off against each other. This only ever leads to a shouting match between them and double punishment for me, followed by neither parent talking to me. This in turn leads to no treats and no relaxing of the rules by either parent.
"No matter how dark the fur, the bunny is still fluffy." (Melamphoros)
AKA Thundercougarfalconbird..... (Thanks Nyktipolos!)

Melamphoros

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2012, 05:30:25 am »
Quote from: Dark Midnight;41220
14. I really must remember not to play my parents off against each other. This only ever leads to a shouting match between them and double punishment for me, followed by neither parent talking to me. This in turn leads to no treats and no relaxing of the rules by either parent.

 
This (plus everything else mentioned so far) is the reason I reserve a special place in my misanthropy for the children.


Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you will make a great sandwich.
My Spiritual Blog

Jubes

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2012, 07:20:34 am »
Quote from: Dark Midnight;41220
14. I really must remember not to play my parents off against each other. This only ever leads to a shouting match between them and double punishment for me, followed by neither parent talking to me. This in turn leads to no treats and no relaxing of the rules by either parent.

 
I knew it wasn't just my kids that  did all this stuff! Is there some sort of secret  kid society we don't know about? :eek:
Armed with  common sense and worldly ways.......

Stardancer

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2012, 08:05:01 am »
Quote from: Jubes;41226
I knew it wasn't just my kids that  did all this stuff! Is there some sort of secret  kid society we don't know about? :eek:

 
Hey, I've been a kid once, and I was never invited to any sort of society. I had to think it all up on my own!
My (mainly) astrological blog
http://sidselh.livejournal.com/ Last update 25. oct \'11

Jubes

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2012, 08:19:22 am »
Quote from: Stardancer;41227
Hey, I've been a kid once, and I was never invited to any sort of society. I had to think it all up on my own!

 
It's amazing how they all think alike.... globally!!:eek:
Armed with  common sense and worldly ways.......

Dark Midnight

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Re: Things I MUST Remember: BY THE CHILDREN!
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2012, 08:41:41 am »
Quote from: Jubes;41230
It's amazing how they all think alike.... globally!!:eek:

 
They really, really do!
"No matter how dark the fur, the bunny is still fluffy." (Melamphoros)
AKA Thundercougarfalconbird..... (Thanks Nyktipolos!)

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