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    Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    I'm tired of ranting about my lycanthropy* on FB, and figured maybe some other TC folks could use a spot for ranting and commiseration!

    *called such because a) mood swings turn me into a raging werewolf-like beast, b) makes me so miserable I just want to curl up, nose under tail, like a wolf in its den, and c) it's a gender-neutral euphemism for a non-gender-specific problem! (Many people who get periods aren't women (like me!) and many women don't get periods. Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings". Lycanthropy seemed like a nice alternative.)

    So currently the thing that's driving me nuts? Last month my period was, like, EIGHT DAYS EARLY. Which turned out okay, even if it sort of pissed me off at first.

    So this month, nine days before the general "you might get it now" date, I start spotting. And I'm like ok, fine, I guess it's period time, and start preparing for the horror film to come while wondering if my body is trying to make up for all the times it was late and made me scrabble to get a pregnancy test. (It used to be that it would just START, no spotting before, just some cramps; now I sometimes get pre-showtime spotting, sometimes not, and very often wake up with my sheets looking like Carrie at the prom BECAUSE IT IS APPARENTLY NOW A NIGHT AFFAIR.)

    (For reference -- when I say "used to" I'm referring to pre-IUD years, which were a clusterfuck of random so far as periods go. I've had my IUD out for a year and I guess my body is still trying to figure out what the hell just happened to it. In other words, my uterus is drunk.)

    So I spot for four days and then...poof, nothing, back to normal. No period. No more spotting. Just...random four days of spotting; a pre-show show without the actual show.

    Which normally, okay, fine, whatever, it comes when it comes you know? Except that today or tomorrow, I'm heading over to Victoria for a business trip. This requires being a walk on passenger on the ferry and then taking the bus and walking around Vic all day and then getting a bus back to the ferry and doing the walk-on thing again.

    On a day when the RED TSUNAMI COULD HAPPEN AT ANY TIME. (The first day of my period is HORRID; I'm actually not sure that normal humans can lose that much blood and live. Obviously I'm a superhero. Worst. power. ever.)

    Guess who's wearing a station-wagon pad today and tomorrow just in case? *points to self with thumbs* This genderqueer person.



    (And I know it's coming soon because I have started craving salt like CRAZY before my periods. In the past week I'm pretty sure I've eaten the equivalent of a salt lick.)


    So. Bring on the ranting and rage and woe!
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    Re: Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings".
    My bolding, because nothing drives me up a wall faster than "goddess blessings." I'm sure it's like that for some lucky(?) people, but all that idea calls up for me is the memory of my poor teenage self, curled up on the floor in pain and wondering what is wrong with me this is supposed to be my blessed time.

    So, yeah, personal issues there. Now I just call it "closed for scheduled maintenance."
    "The further we go, and older we grow, the more we know, the less we show." ~ Robert Smith

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    Quote Originally Posted by beachglass View Post
    My bolding, because nothing drives me up a wall faster than "goddess blessings." I'm sure it's like that for some lucky(?) people, but all that idea calls up for me is the memory of my poor teenage self, curled up on the floor in pain and wondering what is wrong with me this is supposed to be my blessed time.

    So, yeah, personal issues there. Now I just call it "closed for scheduled maintenance."
    Oh yeah. And whoever came up with that "have a happy period" slogan should be shot in the gut and left to bleed out.
    A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
    That what is no sense must be nonsense.

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    Re: Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    .... Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings".

    ...RED TSUNAMI ...
    I used to call it the Uterine Chainsaw Massacre (UCM in polite company).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    c) it's a gender-neutral euphemism for a non-gender-specific problem! (Many people who get periods aren't women (like me!) and many women don't get periods. Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings". Lycanthropy seemed like a nice alternative.)
    Thaaaaaaank you.

    No other ranting to add today, just wanted to high five for that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    I'm tired of ranting about my lycanthropy* on FB, and figured maybe some other TC folks could use a spot for ranting and commiseration!

    *called such because a) mood swings turn me into a raging werewolf-like beast, b) makes me so miserable I just want to curl up, nose under tail, like a wolf in its den, and c) it's a gender-neutral euphemism for a non-gender-specific problem! (Many people who get periods aren't women (like me!) and many women don't get periods. Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings". Lycanthropy seemed like a nice alternative.)

    So currently the thing that's driving me nuts? Last month my period was, like, EIGHT DAYS EARLY. Which turned out okay, even if it sort of pissed me off at first.

    So this month, nine days before the general "you might get it now" date, I start spotting. And I'm like ok, fine, I guess it's period time, and start preparing for the horror film to come while wondering if my body is trying to make up for all the times it was late and made me scrabble to get a pregnancy test. (It used to be that it would just START, no spotting before, just some cramps; now I sometimes get pre-showtime spotting, sometimes not, and very often wake up with my sheets looking like Carrie at the prom BECAUSE IT IS APPARENTLY NOW A NIGHT AFFAIR.)

    (For reference -- when I say "used to" I'm referring to pre-IUD years, which were a clusterfuck of random so far as periods go. I've had my IUD out for a year and I guess my body is still trying to figure out what the hell just happened to it. In other words, my uterus is drunk.)

    So I spot for four days and then...poof, nothing, back to normal. No period. No more spotting. Just...random four days of spotting; a pre-show show without the actual show.

    Which normally, okay, fine, whatever, it comes when it comes you know? Except that today or tomorrow, I'm heading over to Victoria for a business trip. This requires being a walk on passenger on the ferry and then taking the bus and walking around Vic all day and then getting a bus back to the ferry and doing the walk-on thing again.

    On a day when the RED TSUNAMI COULD HAPPEN AT ANY TIME. (The first day of my period is HORRID; I'm actually not sure that normal humans can lose that much blood and live. Obviously I'm a superhero. Worst. power. ever.)

    Guess who's wearing a station-wagon pad today and tomorrow just in case? *points to self with thumbs* This genderqueer person.

    (And I know it's coming soon because I have started craving salt like CRAZY before my periods. In the past week I'm pretty sure I've eaten the equivalent of a salt lick.)


    So. Bring on the ranting and rage and woe!
    *offers hugs*

    This thread is such good timing.

    I have PCOS and my periods are fucking weird. Longest I've had between them was 20 months (longest naturally. I've had longer when I was on the POP). Shortest was 3 days. That was my lovely period that lasted from November until April with just 3 days of no bleeding. Fucking hell. (Part of that was due to going onto the POP to try to stop them (it's worked before), and it stopped for 3 days then started again and the doctor told me I had to take it for 3 months (I didn't )

    Anyway, last period was April. Normally I get a cold and sore boobs for a week or so before it appears but I've had a cold and sore boobs since July.
    The fucker appeared today. While I was at work. And the first day of my period is like yours, and it's also the most painful.
    But I couldn't go home and curl up in bed because I had 10 miles of dog walking to do.

    Today has not been fun

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    Re: Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    So. Bring on the ranting and rage and woe!
    Used to call my time of the month Hell Week. Now I don't know whether its going to be one week or two a month. When I do have it...my family lives in fear. I am NOT joking either. They swear my eyes glow red

    My rant: its painful to the extreme; I should have bled to death long ago; and if the health insurance paid for an elective hysterectomy I would have had one years ago! I'd rather take my chances with hormone replacement than deal with this CURSE. That really is the correct term for it...CURSE.

    Whew...felt good to let that out! ---Slinks off to find chocolate and a place to hold up till the PMS inner-meanies are abated---
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    Re: Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Morag View Post
    Personally, I find it pretty upsetting to see periods referred to as "lady business" or "womanly troubles" or "goddess blessings".
    "Goddess Blessings"? Maybe if the goddess in question is Eris or Kali. Otherwise, no, just no.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aisling View Post
    "Goddess Blessings"? Maybe if the goddess in question is Eris or Kali. Otherwise, no, just no.
    Personally, I've always preferred "the Curse." It's so appropriate.
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    Re: Period Woes and Weirdness Ranting and Commiseration thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Aranel View Post
    *offers hugs*

    This thread is such good timing.

    I have PCOS and my periods are fucking weird. Longest I've had between them was 20 months (longest naturally. I've had longer when I was on the POP). Shortest was 3 days. That was my lovely period that lasted from November until April with just 3 days of no bleeding. Fucking hell. (Part of that was due to going onto the POP to try to stop them (it's worked before), and it stopped for 3 days then started again and the doctor told me I had to take it for 3 months (I didn't )

    Anyway, last period was April. Normally I get a cold and sore boobs for a week or so before it appears but I've had a cold and sore boobs since July.
    The fucker appeared today. While I was at work. And the first day of my period is like yours, and it's also the most painful.
    But I couldn't go home and curl up in bed because I had 10 miles of dog walking to do.

    Today has not been fun
    That really sucks.

    ((((Aranel))))



    (PCOS is a possibility for me; been working on getting a diagnosis for a while. I know I get ovarian cysts because a) ultrasound and b) I can feel the fuckers and they hurt, but at this point my doctor isn't sure I have PCOS or if it's just...cysts. Idk.)
    Misandric Ice Queen.

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