The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Greetings . . .

I'll try my best not to write a novel here. I am currently in a space where I find myself in need of spiritual guidance of some sort, and I dont really know where to start looking.

I'm from South Africa, and I live in a very small little community, where everyone is Christian (Dutch Reformed). Unfortunately if you dont identify yourself as 'Christian' you are automatically condemned as a 'satanist' and people refuse to even speak to you. So I am rather limited in my search for guidance here at home.

I come from a long line of family members who could 'see' things. On my maternal side, various people have the ability to see/hear/speak with ghosts, or the energies that linger in place. On my paternal side, my grandmother was a very notorius 'witch' - she was naturopath and a very powerful spiritual person. She was often called on by people, sometimes even Dr's, to pray (send energy) to people who were sick or dying, and she had a very good reputation, although in those days (Nationalist Apartheid South Africa) people would walk out of a store if she stepped foot in it. The maternal side of my family are very 'Christian' and deny their ablities as much as they can. My ties with the paternal side of my family have always been non-existant. Spiritually speaking, I can only turn to my mother for advice, and she is reluctant to become engaged in things that could bring darkness into our home.

Myself, I have always been drawn to people or animals who were hurt or dying. I've helped a few pass on. I can sense energy in places, know its intentions, origins, sometimes I can even see the full figures of these people. I tend to 'find' crime scenes quite often - I'm drawn to the energy of what happened there. I can also sense the energy of people who are far away, what state of mind they are in, whether they are alive or dead etc.

I would like to know where I fit in in the spiritual world? How can I develop my gifts? How can I guard myself against the darker energies who will not leave when I ask them to leave me in peace? I tried my first 'real' ritual - where I deliberately planned what I was going to do and say, a few days ago, to ask a dark energy who has been in our house for years to be part of the light, and the good intentions I have for our house, or to leave, and seems like I have only made this person very angry, and now I really dont know know where to go or what to do??

Any insights, advice, or guidance would be much appreciated.

Greetings . . .

Any insights, advice, or guidance would be much appreciated.

What you've described sounds very similar to what you encounter in Spiritualism. Psychic development, awareness, mediumship, healing e.t.c. are things that people involved in paganism&the occult can have similar interests in, but isn't necessarily part of the individual religions per say( may have more emphasis in some than others) Spiritualism, however, is all about that.  

Spiritualists can be of any religion, pagan, Christian, e.t.c., however since it is considered a religion itself, in the UK at least one is required to convert to Spiritualism once they reacha certain stage of their development in the Spiritualist' National Union. I'm pretty sure there's a similar scene in South Africa   http://www.psychic-directory.com/psychics_southafrica.htm