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Author Topic: I have to ask for your help on this one  (Read 3186 times)

sephira

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I have to ask for your help on this one
« on: November 17, 2011, 03:46:06 am »
So I'm an army wife and my husband came down on orders for Alaska which is considered an overseas tour and lasts for three years. In order for me to accompany him and get what is called Command Sponsored (which would include getting full rate BAH-basic housing allowance married rate and full rate COLA-cost of living adjustment, as well as access to medical care on post) I had to get medically screened to determine if I was what they call an Exceptional Family Member--basically do I have any health issues that would preclude me from traveling with my husband.

I DO have health issues, most of which would not preclude me, until we get to the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, Type II. Basically, what has happened is the powers that be in Alaska have determined that I am NOT allowed to accompany my husband on this tour due to my diagnosis as they say that they don't know enough about these types of diseases (mental health) and they want to avoid 'incidents' on post.

We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!


Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!



I should add that if we don't get that extra money, we can't afford to live on the economy together.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2011, 03:54:31 am by sephira »
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Stardancer

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2011, 03:50:38 am »
Quote from: sephira;30579

We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!

Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

 
And of course your illness will do soooo much better if you're separated from your husband for three years..

Sending prayers for your and your family's well being.
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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2011, 08:31:02 am »
Quote from: sephira;30579
I DO have health issues, most of which would not preclude me, until we get to the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, Type II. Basically, what has happened is the powers that be in Alaska have determined that I am NOT allowed to accompany my husband on this tour due to my diagnosis as they say that they don't know enough about these types of diseases (mental health) and they want to avoid 'incidents' on post.

That's silly and sounds more like prejudice against mental illness on part of the post command that anything else. You'll be in my prayers.
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Dark Midnight

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2011, 08:32:52 am »
Quote from: sephira;30579

Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!


You've got it! Energy is on its way
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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2011, 08:54:46 am »
Quote from: sephira;30579
We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!

Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!



I should add that if we don't get that extra money, we can't afford to live on the economy together.

 
Three years?! My heart goes out to you. That is incredibly sad.
My thoughts and healing energies are with you.
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SatSekhem

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2011, 03:03:00 pm »
Quote from: sephira;30579
So I'm an army wife and my husband came down on orders for Alaska which is considered an overseas tour and lasts for three years. In order for me to accompany him and get what is called Command Sponsored (which would include getting full rate BAH-basic housing allowance married rate and full rate COLA-cost of living adjustment, as well as access to medical care on post) I had to get medically screened to determine if I was what they call an Exceptional Family Member--basically do I have any health issues that would preclude me from traveling with my husband.

I DO have health issues, most of which would not preclude me, until we get to the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, Type II. Basically, what has happened is the powers that be in Alaska have determined that I am NOT allowed to accompany my husband on this tour due to my diagnosis as they say that they don't know enough about these types of diseases (mental health) and they want to avoid 'incidents' on post.

We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!


Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!



I should add that if we don't get that extra money, we can't afford to live on the economy together.

 
You can win this.  (((Sephira)))
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victoreia

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2011, 05:00:57 pm »
Quote from: sephira;30579


 
Wha??? Are they living in the 19th century up there? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard yet! I think Randall's right, and that's somebody's prejudice speaking.

I really think you can get that appealed. Good luck! {{{{sephira}}}}
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sephira

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2011, 05:33:02 pm »
Quote from: victoreia;30650
Wha??? Are they living in the 19th century up there? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard yet! I think Randall's right, and that's somebody's prejudice speaking.

I really think you can get that appealed. Good luck! {{{{sephira}}}}

 

We can appeal it -- once, and that's it!! So if the appeal does not go through then the two options are (1) apply for compassionate reassignment back to where I'm at (Ft Bragg) and hope that goes through or, (2) suffer through being separated for three years and visit whenever economically possible, which as you know, the Army doesn't pay all that much so the visits would be few and far between.

Right now we are starting the appeal process. Thankfully my psychiatrist is on board for helping me out on this one.

I really want to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who have offered your energy and prayers!! It is really appreciated and I will let you know as soon as I know something!
"If it ain\'t fun, it ain\'t worth doing!"

monsnoleedra

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2011, 08:41:05 pm »
Quote from: sephira;30579
So I'm an army wife and my husband came down on orders for Alaska which is considered an overseas tour and lasts for three years. In order for me to accompany him and get what is called Command Sponsored (which would include getting full rate BAH-basic housing allowance married rate and full rate COLA-cost of living adjustment, as well as access to medical care on post) I had to get medically screened to determine if I was what they call an Exceptional Family Member--basically do I have any health issues that would preclude me from traveling with my husband.

I DO have health issues, most of which would not preclude me, until we get to the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, Type II. Basically, what has happened is the powers that be in Alaska have determined that I am NOT allowed to accompany my husband on this tour due to my diagnosis as they say that they don't know enough about these types of diseases (mental health) and they want to avoid 'incidents' on post.

We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!


Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!



I should add that if we don't get that extra money, we can't afford to live on the economy together.


There is so much missing here that it's difficult to say anything.  You do not say what part of Alaska which is of critical importance.  If it is a remote posting like say Shimia (sp) for instance the medical facilities are extremely limited and would greatly impact upon your ability to be deployed there with your spouse.  Places such as Adak are more forgiving but still remote and have limited medical facilites even though families are deployed there.

It's easy to sit and make statements as to the dumbest thing or that they are living in the last century.  Yet it's more than apparent by many of the statements those responding have no idea of what they are speaking of.

I spent 23 years in the Navy with many of them oversea's and a few in remote locations where everyone has to be approved to be sent there.  Any medical issue has the potential to be a critical condition when they have to send you out for even minor medical conditions or requirements.   I've seen more than one family that has had member's that did not qualify for assignment to those areas.

Unless things have changed greatly you may find your spouse has to do a minimum of 1 year before he can apply for a humanitarian transfer.

If the base is say Anchorage for instance then there are better medical facilites with less restrictions.  But as I stated there is to little info to actually say what is a reliable position and why or why not as to acceptance of transfer.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out in your favor.  But having been there as both a service meber with exceptional needs family member and a Senior NCO the command will error on the side of caution in almost all instances if they do not believe they can provide acceptable support.

sephira

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2011, 01:53:36 am »
Quote from: monsnoleedra;31151
There is so much missing here that it's difficult to say anything.  You do not say what part of Alaska which is of critical importance.  If it is a remote posting like say Shimia (sp) for instance the medical facilities are extremely limited and would greatly impact upon your ability to be deployed there with your spouse.  Places such as Adak are more forgiving but still remote and have limited medical facilites even though families are deployed there.

It's easy to sit and make statements as to the dumbest thing or that they are living in the last century.  Yet it's more than apparent by many of the statements those responding have no idea of what they are speaking of.

I spent 23 years in the Navy with many of them oversea's and a few in remote locations where everyone has to be approved to be sent there.  Any medical issue has the potential to be a critical condition when they have to send you out for even minor medical conditions or requirements.   I've seen more than one family that has had member's that did not qualify for assignment to those areas.

Unless things have changed greatly you may find your spouse has to do a minimum of 1 year before he can apply for a humanitarian transfer.

If the base is say Anchorage for instance then there are better medical facilites with less restrictions.  But as I stated there is to little info to actually say what is a reliable position and why or why not as to acceptance of transfer.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out in your favor.  But having been there as both a service meber with exceptional needs family member and a Senior NCO the command will error on the side of caution in almost all instances if they do not believe they can provide acceptable support.



 
It is Anchorage, actually.

He'll be deployed for the first year he's technically in Alaska.

Thanks for the well wishing. I hope is works out too!!!
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monsnoleedra

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2011, 09:14:33 am »
Quote from: sephira;31172
It is Anchorage, actually.

He'll be deployed for the first year he's technically in Alaska.

Thanks for the well wishing. I hope is works out too!!!


If it Anchorage I really don't see why they shouldn't accept you then.  The only thing I could possibly think is that, if I recall correctly, major cases are sent to California for medical treatment.  But I wouldn't think yours falls into that category.

Of course I don't know what the waiting period is for command sponsored familes there.  I have heard of upwards of a year in some areas, but normally shorter unless there are unusual family requirements.  By that I mean some of the families that have 8 r 9 children which I have seen.  So it is possible that is a duel consideration but usually that just means a seperation before housing becomes available and the family can transfer in to join the member.

Good luck and keep pushing.  On a side note I can't speak for all the spouses but I know my wife put up with a great deal to support my career and its was only her support many times that made it possible for me to do my job.  So as a married spouse I'd like to say thanks for your courage and sacrifices for though you'll  often go unsung I can assure you you do have a significant influence upon readiness and your spouses ability to do thier job.

I wasn't Army so do not know their regulations to well but if you need a person to vent with feel free to bend my ear.  If I can't answer I can always get my wife to either sign up and talk or speak through my account and let you know its her.  She stood beside me for 19 years and is the daughter of a career Marine so she's seen it on both ends of that equation.

JuniperMorgan

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2011, 09:14:42 pm »
Quote from: sephira;31172
It is Anchorage, actually.

He'll be deployed for the first year he's technically in Alaska.

Thanks for the well wishing. I hope is works out too!!!

 
I've not been around in a few...so this is the first I've seen of this.  A candle is lit for you and your husband.  My partner is on TC, is a 12 yr USAF disabled vet, and daughter of a 30yr RET. Army.  She's also a good place to vent, and I'm willing as well if you need it.  If you want to talk to her, she's on here as OnyxDarwind.  Just let me know so I can poke her to actually log on!
You can also find my ramblings at my blog although I\'m not the best at regular updates.  I\'m working on fixing that. Or look for me on FB here or Google+ here. :)

sephira

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2012, 08:41:48 am »
Quote from: sephira;30579
So I'm an army wife and my husband came down on orders for Alaska which is considered an overseas tour and lasts for three years. In order for me to accompany him and get what is called Command Sponsored (which would include getting full rate BAH-basic housing allowance married rate and full rate COLA-cost of living adjustment, as well as access to medical care on post) I had to get medically screened to determine if I was what they call an Exceptional Family Member--basically do I have any health issues that would preclude me from traveling with my husband.

I DO have health issues, most of which would not preclude me, until we get to the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, Type II. Basically, what has happened is the powers that be in Alaska have determined that I am NOT allowed to accompany my husband on this tour due to my diagnosis as they say that they don't know enough about these types of diseases (mental health) and they want to avoid 'incidents' on post.

We plan on appealing this decision. Of course, my husband deploys from Alaska in early December so I'll be fighting this on my own. I am so upset by this that I just don't know what to do with myself! That the Army can plan on separating a husband and wife for three years is beyond me!


Please, please, please! Whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated!!!!!



I should add that if we don't get that extra money, we can't afford to live on the economy together.



AN UPDATE:


They denied my appeal!!

Our next step, which I just found out, is what is called, filing for a Compassionate Reassignment. Now, what this means is that my husband files paperwork stating paperwork so that he and I can be together and, hopefully, the current unit (the one in Alaska) says "OK, go ahead and be together somewhere else".

However, where this "somewhere else" is the unnerving part and is where your thoughts and prayers come in.  I am hoping and praying that he just gets sent back here to Fort Bragg, where I already am, and where he just came from. If not, he gets sent where the 'needs of the Army' sends him and that could be to any hole in the wall post they want!

Also, even if his current unit does give the go ahead, which is looks likely that they are going to, on the Compassionate Reassignment, once he gets back from deployment he will be stuck in Alaska for another year. So, it will be a two year tour instead of three. Yuck! Still, better than three years, I suppose! He says he is going to try to talk to his Branch manager, someone who is in control of when and where he goes. So we'll see....



Please, your thoughts and prayers that we aren't separated for too long and that we can, ultimately, stay at Fort Bragg.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 08:46:33 am by sephira »
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monsnoleedra

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2012, 10:25:51 am »
Quote from: sephira;39559
AN UPDATE: ..

Our next step, which I just found out, is what is called, filing for a Compassionate Reassignment. Now, what this means is that my husband files paperwork stating paperwork so that he and I can be together and, hopefully, the current unit (the one in Alaska) says "OK, go ahead and be together somewhere else".

However, where this "somewhere else" is the unnerving part and is where your thoughts and prayers come in.  I am hoping and praying that he just gets sent back here to Fort Bragg, where I already am, and where he just came from. If not, he gets sent where the 'needs of the Army' sends him and that could be to any hole in the wall post they want!

Also, even if his current unit does give the go ahead, which is looks likely that they are going to, on the Compassionate Reassignment, once he gets back from deployment he will be stuck in Alaska for another year. So, it will be a two year tour instead of three. Yuck! Still, better than three years, I suppose! He says he is going to try to talk to his Branch manager, someone who is in control of when and where he goes. So we'll see....



Please, your thoughts and prayers that we aren't separated for too long and that we can, ultimately, stay at Fort Bragg.


I wish you luck and success on your attempts.  Not only luck and success but no following negative repercussions.

However let me ask you something, 'Is your husbands career of importance?"  Sounds like a bad question I know but it is really a critical one.  In the 23 years I served in the Navy one of the quickest career stoppers I ever saw was a humanitterian or compassionate transfer or termination of duty station.  Granted it is not always so black and white as migating factors always played in.

Here your trying to get an assignment terminated because of an inability for him to be deployed there with family.  Without sling-shot orders (these were orders where you left and knew you were coming back to the same assignmet) or guarenteed follow-on assignment (many times given after isolated duty assignments) you have to break rotation for another family to get your desire.  There in lies the danger in those type transfers.

Saddly the Air Force was the most forgiving of the services when it came to Compassionate re-assignments in my experience.  My own opinion there was because one could spend a whole career at the same base simply moving between squadrons and support elements.

I really would suggest you have him speak to his 1st Sgt or Sgt Major and see how it would be taken.  Well that is if he intends to make a career from his military service.  If your at Ft. Bragg you may even want to speak to the Senior Enlisted person on base to see.

Humaniterian transfers due to death or special need for a one time thing usually didn't harm a career.  But termination of assignments can be a killer depending upon the reason and cause some severe personal issues for the member requesting such action.  You think it won't follow but it can and many times does.

You also have to consider his MOS rotation pattern.  For instance mine was typically 2 overseas or shipboard assignments for each stateside duty unless I choose isolated duty or hazardous duty assignments.  Depending upon his rotation pattern he just might be in for another overseas duty such as Korea or Germany which means you still might not be able to go.

sephira

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Re: I have to ask for your help on this one
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2012, 08:00:09 pm »
Quote from: monsnoleedra;39566
I wish you luck and success on your attempts.  Not only luck and success but no following negative repercussions.

However let me ask you something, 'Is your husbands career of importance?"  Sounds like a bad question I know but it is really a critical one.  In the 23 years I served in the Navy one of the quickest career stoppers I ever saw was a humanitterian or compassionate transfer or termination of duty station.  Granted it is not always so black and white as migating factors always played in.

Here your trying to get an assignment terminated because of an inability for him to be deployed there with family.  Without sling-shot orders (these were orders where you left and knew you were coming back to the same assignmet) or guarenteed follow-on assignment (many times given after isolated duty assignments) you have to break rotation for another family to get your desire.  There in lies the danger in those type transfers.

Saddly the Air Force was the most forgiving of the services when it came to Compassionate re-assignments in my experience.  My own opinion there was because one could spend a whole career at the same base simply moving between squadrons and support elements.

I really would suggest you have him speak to his 1st Sgt or Sgt Major and see how it would be taken.  Well that is if he intends to make a career from his military service.  If your at Ft. Bragg you may even want to speak to the Senior Enlisted person on base to see.

Humaniterian transfers due to death or special need for a one time thing usually didn't harm a career.  But termination of assignments can be a killer depending upon the reason and cause some severe personal issues for the member requesting such action.  You think it won't follow but it can and many times does.

You also have to consider his MOS rotation pattern.  For instance mine was typically 2 overseas or shipboard assignments for each stateside duty unless I choose isolated duty or hazardous duty assignments.  Depending upon his rotation pattern he just might be in for another overseas duty such as Korea or Germany which means you still might not be able to go.

Thanks for replying. At least someone gives a shit!

His career is an issue. I think what his current unit is intending is for him to do a 'short tour' of two years in Alaska with his current deployment counting as one of those years. BUT what they are telling him is that they are giving him is a 'compassionate reassignment' which is not at all what they are giving him.

I am scared that if he stirs shit in the current climate that he may get booted out so I don't know whether we should just suck it up and just deal with what his unit is willing to do. It is so fucking disturbing!!!

I am so disheartened right now....
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 08:01:23 pm by sephira »
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