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Author Topic: Depression  (Read 1978 times)

Raganhildis

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Depression
« on: September 28, 2011, 07:45:11 pm »
I'm not sure how to go about this since I've never told folks before, but I've been feeling the blues.

For the past year and a half, the only people I've talked to on a regular basis are my mother, her estranged boyfriend and her 4-year old son. I am constantly told that I'm "worthless", "no direction in life", "weak/lazy", "fat/ugly", and so forth. When I ask my mother how she's doing, what she's been up to or where she's been, I often get told to shut the fuck up, to go away, or some variant of that. Her boyfriend is manipulative. This past week, he tried to blame me for eating all the food (in reality, I eat once or twice per day). Yesterday, lo and behold, my mother and I found the missing food stashed in a cupboard.

The kid is a monster. The boyfriend has spoiled him rotten to the core, and now he screams, swears, and hits my mother whenever she doesn't give him what he wants. I can't do anything about it, because if I try to reprimand, the boyfriend will cry child abuse and threaten to throw me out. (Of course, that one time he grabbed him by the throat or dragged him up the steps certainly isn't abuse in his eyes. But a smack on the hand/timeout? ABUSE.)

I don't know what I'm getting at here, but it's hard going through this day in, day out. I don't know anyone outside the family, and nobody in the family will allow me to move in with them. Every job application I've sent in goes unanswered or rejected, probably because I'm a 19-year old with zero work experience and a GED. Apparently, I'm not good enough to flip burgers. No money for college, and they make just enough for me to not be eligible to join the job corps.

I've considered selling all my stuff and going homeless for a few weeks so I could join the job corps, but it's not a decision I just want to jump into. But the longer I stay with these people, the more I find myself becoming like them, and the last thing I want is to be like them.

I don't know if I really believe in prayers or energy... transfer-things, but your thoughts and advice would be much appreciated.

Etheric1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2011, 07:52:13 pm »
Quote from: Raganhildis;22890
I'm not sure how to go about this since I've never told folks before, but I've been feeling the blues.

For the past year and a half, the only people I've talked to on a regular basis are my mother, her estranged boyfriend and her 4-year old son. I am constantly told that I'm "worthless", "no direction in life", "weak/lazy", "fat/ugly", and so forth. When I ask my mother how she's doing, what she's been up to or where she's been, I often get told to shut the fuck up, to go away, or some variant of that. Her boyfriend is manipulative. This past week, he tried to blame me for eating all the food (in reality, I eat once or twice per day). Yesterday, lo and behold, my mother and I found the missing food stashed in a cupboard.

The kid is a monster. The boyfriend has spoiled him rotten to the core, and now he screams, swears, and hits my mother whenever she doesn't give him what he wants. I can't do anything about it, because if I try to reprimand, the boyfriend will cry child abuse and threaten to throw me out. (Of course, that one time he grabbed him by the throat or dragged him up the steps certainly isn't abuse in his eyes. But a smack on the hand/timeout? ABUSE.)

I don't know what I'm getting at here, but it's hard going through this day in, day out. I don't know anyone outside the family, and nobody in the family will allow me to move in with them. Every job application I've sent in goes unanswered or rejected, probably because I'm a 19-year old with zero work experience and a GED. Apparently, I'm not good enough to flip burgers. No money for college, and they make just enough for me to not be eligible to join the job corps.

I've considered selling all my stuff and going homeless for a few weeks so I could join the job corps, but it's not a decision I just want to jump into. But the longer I stay with these people, the more I find myself becoming like them, and the last thing I want is to be like them.

I don't know if I really believe in prayers or energy... transfer-things, but your thoughts and advice would be much appreciated.

 
Wow.  That is a nasty situation.  I think getting the hell out of there, as you stated you are hoping to do, is a good call.  Being around that kind of negativity DOES rub off on people, much like a virus gets around.  As for the job hunting, try to keep at it as best you can.  Easier said than done, but you should be able to find SOMETHING even if it sucks.  Although this might not be a good thing for everyone, have you considered joining the military?  I know it's a heavy-duty thing to consider, especially since there is a war going on, but it will get you out of that situation.  

Good luck, thoughts and prayers will be sent.
No matter how dark the fur, the bunny is still fluffy. - Mel\'s Law of Dark Fluffs.
Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear. – Albert Camus
You can easily judge the character of a person by how they treat those who can do nothing for them. - unknown
“We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us” - David Seamands

sephira

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Re: Depression
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2011, 09:04:50 pm »
Quote from: Etheric1;22896
have you considered joining the military?  I know it's a heavy-duty thing to consider, especially since there is a war going on, but it will get you out of that situation.  


 
The military is a good idea if you so choose. I am prior military, Army, and my husband is in the Army, and I would have to say that it's not as bad nor as hard as it looks. Yes, we may be at war, but depending on what you choose for a job (Army and Navy) or get chosen for you (Air Force), I'm not sure what the marines do, you may not even go to war! If you want any further advice on this just ask me and I'll help you by telling you all I know.
"If it ain\'t fun, it ain\'t worth doing!"

Asch

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Re: Depression
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2011, 09:30:41 pm »
Quote from: sephira;22935
...or get chosen for you (Air Force)...


Quibble, there are two types of enlistment contracts, one is a guaranteed job one is guaranteed area. I had a guaranteed job, from the day I signed the dotted line I knew what I'd be doing but some jobs can't be assigned that way so you have to risk going into a section/area/category open. The riskiset is open-general 'cause that's the same category that pulls cops and cooks.

JuniperMorgan

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Re: Depression
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2011, 12:18:27 am »
Quote from: Etheric1;22896
Wow.  That is a nasty situation.  I think getting the hell out of there, as you stated you are hoping to do, is a good call.  Being around that kind of negativity DOES rub off on people, much like a virus gets around.  As for the job hunting, try to keep at it as best you can.  Easier said than done, but you should be able to find SOMETHING even if it sucks.  Although this might not be a good thing for everyone, have you considered joining the military?  I know it's a heavy-duty thing to consider, especially since there is a war going on, but it will get you out of that situation.  

Good luck, thoughts and prayers will be sent.


This.  I'm afraid I don't have much else to add.  I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
You can also find my ramblings at my blog although I\'m not the best at regular updates.  I\'m working on fixing that. Or look for me on FB here or Google+ here. :)

Nehet

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Re: Depression
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2011, 12:33:45 am »
Quote from: Etheric1;22896
 I know it's a heavy-duty thing to consider, especially since there is a war going on, but it will get you out of that situation.  


So many people make this choice as a way to get out of a bad situation, and then find themselves in waaaaaay deeper shit than before.

I'm afraid this country doesn't treat its veterans nearly as well as we should.
 
There are good reasons to join the military.  I'm not sure getting out of a bad situation is one of them.
See, life is but a movement of eternal return.  Even Trees fall ~ Berlin papyrus 3024, (A man tired of life).

Live, Ausir, for all time and all eternity! Ankh Neheh Djet!

Etheric1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2011, 12:44:11 am »
Quote from: Nehet;22965
So many people make this choice as a way to get out of a bad situation, and then find themselves in waaaaaay deeper shit than before.

I'm afraid this country doesn't treat its veterans nearly as well as we should.
 

 
These are very true. It most certainly does not work for some folks, It may be a horrible fit depending on the person.  But for some it does work and could be an option.  I've met probably more examples of where it was positive overall than negative ones, but yes it is something that would require a lot of soul searching.
No matter how dark the fur, the bunny is still fluffy. - Mel\'s Law of Dark Fluffs.
Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear. – Albert Camus
You can easily judge the character of a person by how they treat those who can do nothing for them. - unknown
“We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us” - David Seamands

sephira

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Re: Depression
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2011, 01:47:04 am »
Quote from: Asch;22943
Quibble, there are two types of enlistment contracts, one is a guaranteed job one is guaranteed area. I had a guaranteed job, from the day I signed the dotted line I knew what I'd be doing but some jobs can't be assigned that way so you have to risk going into a section/area/category open. The riskiset is open-general 'cause that's the same category that pulls cops and cooks.

 
Thanks for clarifying :)
"If it ain\'t fun, it ain\'t worth doing!"

Lonstar

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Re: Depression
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2011, 04:32:51 am »
Quote from: Raganhildis;22890
I don't know if I really believe in prayers or energy... transfer-things, but your thoughts and advice would be much appreciated.

 
What an sad situation. I think your first priority has to be getting out - and practically that means finding a job. I don't think you should go homeless. Homeless makes it harder to find a job and you really will be relying on the kindness of others to get you help.
I'm not sure how many job applications you've sent, but I'd be looking to send 100 a week. Get your cv copied. If you don't have money to do so, ask your local school, library or college. Explain to them your situation. Some kind soul will do it for you. Repeat week after week.


My thoughts and prayers are with you.

HeartShadow

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Re: Depression
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2011, 08:12:32 am »
Quote from: Raganhildis;22890


 
GET HELP.  There ARE resources.  Stuff like this http://www.cssbh.org/ which is hopefully at least affiliated with where you live.

AND they can help you get a job, housing AWAY from the problem - you need to find out what the social services available are and throw yourself on their mercy.  That's what they're there for.

Asch

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Re: Depression
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2011, 12:23:24 am »
Quote from: HeartShadow;22991
That's what they're there for.

 
This. Social Services and utilizing them does not mean someone is a bad/lazy/whatever person, it means they're a person with rights and real need.

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