collapse

* Recent Posts

Re: "Christ Is King" by Sefiru
[Today at 07:44:49 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Sophia C
[Today at 07:21:31 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by SirPalomides
[Today at 07:13:48 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Sophia C
[Today at 07:04:14 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Sophia C
[Today at 06:56:16 pm]

Author Topic: Writing: Full moon mini-poem  (Read 1792 times)

PerditaPickle

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: UK
  • Posts: 2104
  • Country: england
  • Total likes: 641
  • It's all metta - at least, I believe it should be
    • View Profile
    • Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity
  • Religion: Druid-ish
  • Preferred Pronouns: She/her/hers
Full moon mini-poem
« on: January 13, 2017, 06:29:01 pm »
Wrote a reverse-haiku yesterday for the full moon (didn't realise it was reversed until after - couldn't recall how many syllables should be in each line as I wrote this on the train, and got it exactly wrong).  Still, I was kind of pleased with the result so thought I'd share it.

Quote
January: chill, wet, dark
bright moon behind cloud
shower down inspiration

It's part poem, part invocation, as you can tell, which is why I haven't discarded it.  Haiku-wise, I will get it right next time!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2019, 01:00:43 pm by RandallS »
“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” – The Buddha
(From the Metta Sutta)

My Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity blog

SunflowerP

  • Host
  • *
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Location: Calgary AB
  • Posts: 9909
  • Country: ca
  • Total likes: 732
  • Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs!
    • View Profile
    • If You Ain't Makin' Waves, You Ain't Kickin' Hard Enough
  • Religion: Eclectic religious Witchcraft
  • Preferred Pronouns: sie/hir/hirs/hirself
Re: Full moon mini-poem
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2017, 07:14:16 pm »
Quote from: Pickle;201399
Haiku-wise, I will get it right next time!

 
You got the syllable count reversed, but you also nailed the 'word picture, not narrative' nature of haiku, which is something a lot of (Western) folks miss as they over-focus on '5-7-5'. Seems to me that makes yours more true to the concept than those who get the form right but not the substance.

Sunflower
I'm the AntiFa genderqueer commie eclectic wiccan Mod your alt-right bros warned you about.
I do so have a life; I just live part of it online!
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” - Oscar Wilde
"Nobody's good at anything until they practice." - Brina (Yewberry)
My much-neglected blog "If You Ain't Makin' Waves, You Ain't Kickin' Hard Enough"

PerditaPickle

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: UK
  • Posts: 2104
  • Country: england
  • Total likes: 641
  • It's all metta - at least, I believe it should be
    • View Profile
    • Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity
  • Religion: Druid-ish
  • Preferred Pronouns: She/her/hers
Re: Full moon mini-poem
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2017, 06:10:58 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;201445
You got the syllable count reversed, but you also nailed the 'word picture, not narrative' nature of haiku, which is something a lot of (Western) folks miss as they over-focus on '5-7-5'. Seems to me that makes yours more true to the concept than those who get the form right but not the substance.

Sunflower

 
Aww, thank you  :)
“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” – The Buddha
(From the Metta Sutta)

My Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity blog

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
3 Replies
1552 Views
Last post April 27, 2014, 09:18:47 am
by Redfaery
0 Replies
1163 Views
Last post July 02, 2015, 07:52:53 pm
by Nica_13
8 Replies
2183 Views
Last post April 28, 2016, 06:46:42 am
by MeadowRae
7 Replies
2433 Views
Last post September 19, 2016, 07:56:32 pm
by Marie
4 Replies
2460 Views
Last post October 16, 2016, 03:31:17 pm
by milkeyedmender

* Who's Online

  • Dot Guests: 201
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 2
  • Dot Users Online:

* Please Donate!

The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.

* Shop & Support TC

The links below are affiliate links. When you click on one of these links you will go to the listed shopping site with The Cauldron's affiliate code. Any purchases you make during your visit will earn TC a tiny percentage of your purchase price at no extra cost to you.

* In Memoriam

Chavi (2006)
Elspeth (2010)
Marilyn (2013)

* Cauldron Staff

Host:
Sunflower

Message Board Staff
Board Coordinator:
Darkhawk

Assistant Board Coordinator:
Aster Breo

Senior Staff:
Aisling, Allaya, Jenett, Sefiru

Staff:
Ashmire, EclecticWheel, HarpingHawke, Kylara, PerditaPickle, rocquelaire

Discord Chat Staff
Chat Coordinator:
Morag

'Up All Night' Coordinator:
Altair

Cauldron Council:
Bob, Catja, Chatelaine, Emma-Eldritch, Fausta, Jubes, Kelly, LyricFox, Phouka, Sperran, Star, Steve, Tana

Site Administrator:
Randall

SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal