The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

So as long as this is the thread for discussing our opinions of other peoples' relationships: what's up with the whole destined to marry an incarnate angel thing?

That may more properly be a subject for PMs or similar. But I've told anyone else who would listen; why not you? Back around Valentine's Day 1984 a minister friend told me the story of an acquaintance of his who made the decision to eschew dating and instead pray that God would lead him to the girl who was right for him. "With an attitude like that," he said, "I knew the only girl he would find would be one of the Navigators [Bible study group]. And, sure enough, that's who he found; a girl from the Navigators."

He told the story offhandedly, trying to poke a little fun at this guy's strange attitude. But I thought nothing strange of it at all; I thought it was a beautiful story. Right then and there I resolved to pray that God would lead me to the right girl, no matter how long it took.

For five years nothing happened. People would ask me why I wasn't married, and I'd tell them, "I believe in arranged marriages. I'm waiting for God to arrange one for me." They were properly horrified, but it was said in jest. Little did I know....

In 1989 I had a dream of being on a ship when someone said, "Look, there are mermaids." I looked, and then my view zoomed in on one dark curly-haired girl in particular and a voice said, "That's her!"

What I took away from that was that something was cooking. I took a job going back out to sea for the next two years, and I went to the theater to watch Disney's just-released The Little Mermaid, which rekindled my childhood love affair with classic animation. I sat through three showings.

But, again, nothing happened for five years. In June 1994 I made plans to attend the Southern Baptist Convention in Orlando, and then to stay over and visit the Mouse House for a few days. By this time it had been ten years and I was growing a little desperate. I found myself praying, "God, at least give me a glimpse, so I'll know who to pray for!"

The convention went well and I enjoyed myself, but had no experiences that might qualify as any kind of a "glimpse". Until my last evening there. I was at the Disney-MGM studios and was thinking about heading back to the Magic Kingdom for the evening parade. Then I remembered that I wanted to buy a stuffed Flounder toy for my then one-year-old niece (she's a mother of two now), but that I hadn't been able to find any at the Magic Kingdom. I remembered a gift shop at Disney-MGM that might stock them. I went to the Voyage of the Little Mermaid attraction, found and bought my toy, then went to the nearby Animation Studio tour.

The park was strangely empty, I thought, for a Saturday evening in June. Virtually no one was around. The tour lobby was completely empty. Then a girl came in.

She was small, black hair drawn up in a bun, actually kind of plain if the truth be told. She only vaguely resembled the girl from my dream five years previously. Still, I thought she was cute and was intrigued enough to introduce myself. When the opening show began, she chose without any prompting to sit right beside me in the front row of the otherwise empty theater. And, when we left the theater for the tour proper, we talked.

She gave her name as Jessica. I asked her favorite Disney movie; she said it was The Little Mermaid. She said that she was working in one of the park restaurants as a summer job. At the end of the tour I was thinking that I just couldn't let this end. I hesitantly asked if she would accompany me into the park for the rest of the evening, and then added, "I've been alone all my life." Great pickup line, huh? But when she said, "Yes, I'll go with you," I felt like I had been knighted.

The very first thing she wanted to do was to walk over and watch the Voyage of the Little Mermaid show. After that, we went on the Great Movie Ride. I've lost track of exactly what we did for those two hours; I just knew I was in heaven. And we talked. She had some of the deepest and most profound ideas on spiritual things I have ever been privileged to hear. And she expressed interest when I put forward my own ideas. She also spoke briefly about her family: Her parents, her six older sisters, her one brother, the firstborn..."He runs the family business," she said.

I saw the pattern right then, right there: Father, Son, Holy Spirit, the Seven Spirits of Revelation...but all I thought at the time was, No. Possible. Way. Just A Huge Coincidence. When the park officially closed and guests were being escorted out, I asked if she might consider joining me for dinner. But then the magic ended. "No, I've got to be going," she replied. I stood there, watching her head out towards the employee exit, wondering what I should do now and feeling like a fool. And then a very clear thought came to my mind: "You know her name, you know where she works, write her a letter!"

I did. Three letters, to be exact. The first in care of Guest Relations. When I didn't hear any response after a few weeks, I sent another in care of the manager of the restaurant she said she worked at. No response then, either. Then I went to the library and looked up the vice-president of employee relations in Dun & Bradstreet, and sent another letter in care of him at his published mailing address. It came back marked, "Return To Sender - No Such Address."

When that happened the thought crossed my mind, "Maybe she really was an angel." But I gave up on the U. S. Postal Service and turned back to my original strategy: Prayer. I committed to pray like I'd never prayed before. A couple of weeks after that I got a letter from Disney Guest Relations apologizing that my original letter had been lost in the mailroom for two months. By that time the summer was over and I had no confidence in the mails again, so I kept praying.

That Christmas season I was between jobs and looking up at "broke". I had just completed training as a truck driver, but hadn't started work yet. I was over in the Harwin discount shopping area when I suddenly became all dizzy. I thought I might be having a stroke. The doctors would later call it an inner ear infection which threatened to become meningitis. I just knew that I was in no condition to drive, so I called an ambulance.

Suddenly there was a woman there, urging me to let her drive me to the hospital. "You don't want to have to pay the ambulance fees," she said. I didn't even know that ambulances charged fees; wasn't that what we paid taxes for? Still, I hesitated; Mom taught me young not to take rides from strangers. Then she said, "Please! I'm Jessica!"

Now I really stared. This was no young college student; this was a mature woman. I would say she looked to be in her early 40s. Still, she had the same "family resemblance" as the girl I had met in Orlando and the mermaid I had seen in the dream. In the car she seemed to be able to anticipate my needs; I got queasy and at that moment she asked if there was anything I needed. "I could use a bucket to throw up in," I replied. She reached into the back seat of her immaculate car and produced a bucket. She kept saying, "I've got to get back to my husband," and then she said, "Look at my wedding ring," thrusting it under my nose. I've never had another woman do that to me. Ever.

I didn't know exactly what to make of that, but I took it as encouragement to keep praying. Another five years passed with nothing happening, but then in April of 1999 I had another dream, the most lucid one of my life. There was a very regal young woman with curly black hair. She identified herself to me as an angel. I asked, "Who are you?" and she said, "I'm Jessica." I asked specifically if there was some other Jessica, a human one that I should be looking for. She said clearly, "No, there's no other Jessica." Then, in the dream, she kissed me...and then I woke up.

Beyond that it gets too complicated for a forum post. Suffice it to say that I ceased to boggle at the idea of a human dating an angel. It was as I was going through Proverbs, asking for the wisdom I would need if this were to go through to consummation, that it hit me between the eyes. Jessica is Wisdom. Proverbs chapter eight in person. "And my delight was with the sons of men." I now believe that she has always wanted to live among humans in the human world, and that she has come close a couple of times, most especially with Solomon. But Solomon was turned away by riches and his other wives, and I believe her Father eventually said in so many words, "He's not right for you. You'd just be another face in his harem."

Am I certain that I am right for her? For that matter, am I certain about any of this? No, but having come this far I intend to stay on this path until it ends, one way or the other. And, even if I am completely wrong about her being divine and she was just the most ordinary, human college student flipping burgers for the summer, I still feel based upon the circumstances of our meeting and the totality of everything that has happened that my God is telling me that the girl I met in Orlando more than twenty years ago is the right one for me, and that if I settle for anyone else I am accepting less than his best.

Jenette, the point of my logic is....

 
(Psst... no E at the end.)

Sunflower

(Psst... no E at the end.)

Sunflower

 
Ooops. You're absolutely right.

Finally, given your comments on this thread, I feel I need to ask something specific that I don't normally ask if someone doesn't volunteer it.

Have you been married or in an equivalent kind of practically and logistically intermingled relationship with another person? If so, for how long?

Have you been in the kinds of challenging situations as I have described? (With a partner who was abusive, as Jack mentions, or where people are just not good for each other (with some abusive behaviors) as I've described?) How did your advice work for you if so?

No. I have never been married. I have never even had a real date, unless you count those two hours in the theme park in Orlando. And those who are closest to me are all in successful long-term marriages. My parents, fifty-five years, two kids. My sister, twenty-five years, eight kids.

I can understand if you want to discount my words accordingly. Monday-morning quarterbacking is always easy. But while I recognize that my position is unpopular and completely contrary to what the wisdom of this world would advise, I believe it still needs to be stated.

Again, we have that impasse caused by the difference between hypotheticals and actuals, and that between past situations and current situations. Your decision [and Jack's] has been made and I agree that your reasons were logical, in both cases. I still hope, if I were ever personally in either of your situations, that instead of seeking escape I would seek my God's help in resolving it on all sides. For I believe he would answer.

I said upthread that I believed that my God was ready and willing to help those in an otherwise intractable situation, regardless of their faith and religious background. But I hope that you will agree that asking him to change what happened back then from where things stand now is not a fair test. What we need for a fair test of my position is someone who is going through such an actual situation right NOW, whether that now is as of the day I post this or five years from today when someone digs this thread up in a Google search. But if someone currently dealing with such an actual situation approaches him for help and then receives no help, then I will agree that I was wrong about what I stated regarding his willingness to help.

Are you saying that there should be no compensation or restitution for patiently enduring a bad situation for the love of the good?

I'll respond to this with a different angle than Darkhawk did: I'd say that compensation after the fact is not sufficient reason to continue to endure a bad situation.

A cookie beats a slap in the face with a wet fish and being told, “Life’s a bitch, sweetheart.”

This amuses me because you came this close to referring to Heaven as "pie in the sky".

I'll respond to this with a different angle than Darkhawk did: I'd say that compensation after the fact is not sufficient reason to continue to endure a bad situation.

 
You do not endure the situation for love of the compensation, but for the love of your God or the love of the person(s) on whose behalf you are undergoing the suffering. Any compensation is merely a token of appreciation as to what that expression of love meant to the other party.

This amuses me because you came this close to referring to Heaven as "pie in the sky".

All I was doing is using the previous poster's word. I believe that Heaven is a lot more than a 'cookie'. But if, after a lifetime of suffering, I have the choice between a cookie and being told, "Ain't that just tough?", I'll take the cookie.

If anyone's faith or anyone's God is being tested here, it is mine. The only condition I seek to impose is that the person asks my God for his help and authorizes me to intercede on his/her behalf for my God to send that help.

 
Too bad I didn't know you when I was in my last go at Christian mysticism. We could have tested this and it would have saved me half the awful years in that marriage if the one thing I was missing was you praying for me.

Look, I believe you mean well. I believe you truly mean everything you say. I even agree that 'try working on your relationship before bailing on it' is often good advice. But as a male abuse and rape victim, I'm a little sensitive about people using my real life experiences as a way to make their point.

Even before Jenett asked about your own relationship experience, I thought it was kind of odd that you titled your thread "Marriage Hypotheticals" and then proceeded to discuss two very real, not-hypothetical marriages. Can you explain what you meant by that a little bit?