The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Hello! I've been lurking these forums for over a year now, and last night I had an experience that pushed me to dive in at last. I've been seeking a connection with a goddess but, being a newbie pagan, I've been tentative about it, unsure what to do. I'm interested in the Welsh pantheon, so that's where I've been directing most of my energy for the last year. I've felt kind of empty, though, as if I'm only pretending.

Last night, I found a meditation called "Connecting With Your Goddess" and decided to try it. The meditation led me to my sacred space, and told me that someone wanted to enter my space but needed my permission. In that instant, I could see a hand pressing against the sky as if against the outside of a bubble that encased me, and my eyes welled over with tears. I felt desperation to let that presence in, as if it belonged to someone I'd been missing, starving for. The energy entered and took the form of a beautiful woman with icy blue diamonds for eyes. She had long, white blond hair, and she radiated confidence that felt, to me, like warmth. Above all, she was intensely familiar, like someone I'd known my whole life. I felt so relieved to be near her. She briefly held my hand, and her hand was warm and strong. I could feel it in my own hand. Her name came to me: Freyja. I lay there, feeling this presence, as hot tears rolled from my eyes into my ears. It was the most powerful spiritual experience of my life.

I know almost nothing about the Norse pantheon. Many of my ancestors were Scandinavian, but I know that doesn't necessarily matter here. I don't know much of anything about Freyja yet. All I know is that I felt her presence last night and it left me with a glowing feeling, like an ember in my chest. If anyone can recommend good books about Freyja or the Norse pantheon in general, I would love that. I'm so ready to learn.