So, it sounds like this was definitely not a suitable reader for you (or maybe in general) and there's a bunch of things you can do to help yourself avoid that kind of situation again in the future.
One place to start is to understand that there are different approaches to divination. From some of what you've said (I'll get back to pendulums in specific below).
One view is that people who do divination have some sort of special connection to the universe, and can read things you didn't tell them, and know things you don't know, because they're psychic or have special powers, or special connections.
I do believe that sometimes this happens - but I believe that for most people who are telling the truth about it, they won't *assume* it will happen, and won't build a business around it. (This model of divination is also more frequently associated with predatory or ethically questionable behavior in other ways.)
In contrast, I and most of the people I know who use divination, including a number who have done it proessionally, believe that divination is a method of listening to myself and what I know, and using the divination methods to help me examine patterns or ideas or concepts in my life, or related to my question, to bring things I'm probably already aware of at some level into clearer focus.
If someone else is doing the reading for me, they're seeing patterns I probably already know, but they might be able to bring up aspects I wasn't thinking about, or help me see them in a different way.
(I think that flashes of inspiration or intuition are possible, and I believe that sometimes deities or other beings use divination to convey information, but I think those are bonus extras, not the thing to expect every time divination is done.)
In her defense though, I was an idiot and was intentionally unclear - testing if she will magically pick up on my recent stresses, AND I felt shedding light on my problems may just help her give generic "asshole ex-bf" advice that anyone else can give without the mystical novelty.
So you know, this kind of testing is really not a cool thing to do to readers. A lot of readers will refuse to read for someone who does that - because it's not the way they read (people who take divination the same way I do, rather than purely as an act of psychism) and also because it's pretty rude. It's like going to a doctor, refusing to answer their questions or let them do any tests that give information, and expecting them to fix what's wrong with you.
But I did mention my main problems further into the reading, and she didn't really pay attention to it much, but insisted that I attend a healing session.... being another $50.
It's hard to tell about the first part of your sentence without having been there - but you're right, the second part is a problem. That's a sign of a reader you shouldn't go back to.
(There are times when a reading may turn up a "Hey, I think this thing would help." but the ethical ones will talk about the specifics of what might help, give you options that don't involve paying them, etc. so you make informed choices.)
I'm not into angel readings AT ALL, but I like to keep an open mind. They're using what they're comfortable with to give me advice. I dont think I have to be into angels to get an angel card reading.
Yes and no, really?
For me, if it's not a thing I'm into, that's not a thing I'd pay for. That's a thing I'd try out on my own, or with a friend who was into it, or some other low-key method of exploring it.
The other part is that if you're looking for advice that may have a spirtual component, you probably want to consider advice from people who are at least in the same general direction on spirituality as you are. There are some folks who do angel work who fit that for me, but most don't. (And I think all of the ones who do wouldn't use angel cards as a primary divination method. They might for specific reasons, but it wouldn't be the first thing they pulled out.)
But the main reason I went to this lady is because I dont know of anyone else, and I can't think of any pagan community here that I can contact, besides, I'm very skeptical of pagan communities here.
So, this is also a pretty lousy reason to pick someone for divination. "You're the only person I can find" isn't very flattering, you know? And it's really likely to get you what you got here - a reading that wasn't useful to you, and that was emotionally unsatisfying.
Every Pagan I've met were somewhat "white trash" edgy old ladies who think they're either fairies or Harry Potter... and my new ideas of spirituality are developing towards a more.... organic/earthy direction - not spellwork, velvet and black cats.
People contain multitudes. (Says the techie religious witch who rarely does spellwork, but does have a black cat...)
Sure, there's a lot of people out there like that. Some of them are *awesome* divination readers. (Some of them are lousy, too.) Some of them may be doing a thing that isn't at all what you want, but they know someone who does the stuff you're interested in, but who isn't easy to find.
The priestess who trained me was someone who was way more over on the overtly witchy side of things in terms of what her house looked like, and there are some of her preferences that are totally not mine, but I also learned a ton from her, and some of that was precisely because her preferences and mine weren't a match.
The other part is how you're finding people - if you're going from people who publically advertise as readers or Pagan shop owners, or other people who are making their money from the Pagan or esoteric or magical community, that's a *tiny* subset of the number of actual Pagans.
If you're looking for people who aren't showy about their religion, you're probably going to need to do a bit more hunting. You may or may not have lots of options, depending on how populated where you live is, or what you can get to, but I'm quite certain there's more out there than the showy folks.
If you're willing to share a general area you're in, like the nearest big town you can get to occasionally, I'd be glad to do some searches and see if I can track down some options for you. I obviously know Australia a lot less well than I know options in places in the US, but I know there's an active Pagan community in a lot of places where it's not obvious.
You're spot on with the reason mostly being emotional trauma. Other reasons being that I wanted to simply "find the light" again as I was happiest when I was actively spiritual.
This is a thing divination might give some guidance on - *if* you framed it carefully (something like "What should I focus on or pay attention to help me find a spiritual practice that's meaningful and satisfying to me?")
But it's also something that divination might not solve for you. It may be a thing where you just need to try some things, thinking about what's worked for you in the past, what hasn't, what you're willing to try or not willing to try.
You said you want to keep an open mind, but there are a lot of statements in your recent posts with fairly absolute ideas about how things work or should work for you. (And if those things are true for you, that's fine! But you might do better if you look at that disconnect, and either decide not to try stuff you know won't work, or commit to trying stuff you're not sure about, but actively committing to trying it without preconceptions.)
I also dont trust myself relying on yes/no answers from a swaying rock.
I get very obsessive over things and I'll start questioning things like "should I really do something just because a pendulum told me to?!" then my progressing beliefs will shatter, and I know, I'm a drama queen AND I make no sense.
If you're concerned that any answer would shatter your beliefs, then I'd lay off the divination for right now, in any form.
Have you ever heard the story about flipping a coin if you can't decide on something? Assign one thing to heads, one to tails, flip the coin. Pay attention to how you feel about it. If you flip the coin, and you hate the answer, *that's* the information you care about - the coin helped you crystalise or admit your feelings about which one you preferred.
The pendulum can do the same thing - or it can help you hone down to a "Better this thing or that thing?" Again, a lot of it is in how you ask the questions, and what questions you ask.
I'd never use a pendulum to tell me what to do - but I would use it (and did, when I was learning to use one) for "Is today a better day to focus on homework or my Craft training?" (I was working full time, in grad school, and doing pre-initiatory training: a lot of stuff had to get done, and I had to go to work, but the pendulum was handy in which of the other two I'd do better with that night.)
Or "Is X thing blocking me in achieving Y goal?" where I wasn't sure what was getting in the way of something I was trying to do. Once I did the pendulum reading, I'd chew on it for a bit, and then use it to help me make better decisions, not have the pendulum make decisions for me.
Divination is a great tool, but it's also one that can be abused. It's also not the only tool you can use to help yourself figure out what works for you, or why. *Paying* someone for divination, however, unless you've got a pretty good idea why you want to pay the and why that's better than alternatives, probably isn't a good use of your money.