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Author Topic: Have I been cursed?  (Read 2619 times)

Sedadaze

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Have I been cursed?
« on: July 19, 2016, 12:50:08 pm »
I know nothing about pagainism or wicca. That's to start you off.

I feel like no one gets me. No one understands me on a level I need them to. I feel like friends are distant and they simply tolerate me. I'm weird, off the wall and other such stuff.

It's been diagnosed as ADHD, autism, depression, borderline personality...

I think I may have been cursed or hexed. (yes, I've done things to deserve it).

Is there a way to tell if you have something against you and if so, is there a way to tell if it's got an expiration date or if it could be cleansed?

SunflowerP

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2016, 01:30:06 pm »
Quote from: Sedadaze;194222


 
Hi, Sedadaze. Because this isn't a request for prayers or energy, but rather a request for information about curses, I've moved it to the 'Magic and the Occult for Beginners' forum, where it's more likely to catch the eye of people who can answer it.

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2016, 01:34:24 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;194225
Hi, Sedadaze. Because this isn't a request for prayers or energy, but rather a request for information about curses, I've moved it to the 'Magic and the Occult for Beginners' forum, where it's more likely to catch the eye of people who can answer it.

Sunflower
TC Forum Staff

 
Hi Sunflower - I think I was typing a reply whilst you were in the process of moving the post, I guess you'll now need to move my reply too?  Sorry...
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Jenett

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2016, 01:57:36 pm »
Quote from: Sedadaze;194222
I feel like no one gets me. No one understands me on a level I need them to. I feel like friends are distant and they simply tolerate me. I'm weird, off the wall and other such stuff.

This doesn't mean you're cursed! Though I'll get to some things you can do there, too.

There's a great blogger out there named Captain Awkward, who has an advice blog that deals with a lot of different kinds of issues like you describe, and both the blog posts and comments have a lot of tips of things you can try, ways to figure out if what you want out of your friends is a reasonable thing, what you could try differently that might work better.

Friendships are hard, and harder to do well. I've found it really helpful to be clear in my own head about 'this is someone whose company I enjoy when we're doing This Thing, but I don't expect anything from them outside of that' and 'this is someone who's going to be mutually supportive long-term'. And I don't go to the first group for much in the way of support, and then I'm not disappointed when I don't get it.

Even with my long-term friends, we can sometimes go weeks or months without doing much in person (because I'm in my early 40s now, and basically, everyone's busy and juggling multiple things and most of my closer friends have either small children, grad school, or have one or more chronic health issues all of which means time and energy are at a premium) and we keep up through online contact and occasional random messages or "I saw this thing and thought of you, how's it going".

We all have to be realistic about our lives to make that work, and we all get that it's not that we dislike people, it's just. Life. Busy. Limited hours in the day, limited energy.

To give an idea of this: I just set up a monthly dinner date with two friends and their kids who live under a mile from me, because we have not managed to see each other in person for more than a few minutes in about 5 months. And these are people I like a lot and have been friends with for approaching 20 years (though my being in the same state as them is still pretty new.)

I am pretty sure that all of my closer friends self-identify as weird, though. Weird doesn't mean you can't have friends. It just means you're probably better off finding people who appreciate your weird.

Quote
It's been diagnosed as ADHD, autism, depression, borderline personality...

That's a pretty broad range of diagnoses. Whether or not you think they're a precise fit, one thing you could do is look for techniques suggested for people with those diagnoses that have helped people improve their social interactions and friendships (Captain Awkward has some comments on this, but there's a lot of other sources.)

Quote
I think I may have been cursed or hexed. (yes, I've done things to deserve it).

Is there a way to tell if you have something against you and if so, is there a way to tell if it's got an expiration date or if it could be cleansed?

Ok. First, you might have done something worth being hexed, but have you done it to anyone who might be competent to hex you? Or have access to someone who would? Most people, this isn't the case.

In many cases, someone might have an emotional desire, but not much magical oomph. (So you might have some bad luck for a bit, but it'll taper off, that kind of thing?) In other cases, someone might have skill, but eventually stop caring so much, and whatever they did will slowly taper off.  But both of those assume someone with some ability and skill in the first place, y'know?

I have an essay up on my website about protection practices you can take, but basically the process you might want to go through involves the following steps:

1) Think hard about anyone who might have had both desire and skill to curse you.

If so, whatever notes you can make about what method of magical practice they might choose can be helpful, since it may suggest some methods of response. (Different magical systems - views of looking at the world - are going to have different remedies, basically.)

(Posting that here once you've thought about it - not names or identifying information, but basic background influences - is an option if you want more ideas, but don't feel you have to!)
 
2) Look at your life and where you're spending time.

If you're not happy with how things are doing, how about trying something different? If your life is going from crisis to crisis, maybe something in that is making you feel like you're cursed. Doing what you can to fix that will help you feel better, even if there is a curse (and if there isn't, may go a really long way to helping in general.)

3) Clean your life up

Physically, figuratively, emotionally. The essay I linked has a lot more about this, and some simple cleansing baths and other things that will usually help you get a better feeling about things, clear some residual icky energy that can stick to you, etc.

4) Consider taking protective steps.

A spiritual or religious practice of your own (not necessarily Paganism, though if you're interested in that, people here will be glad to offer ideas) is a big protection - active attentive spiritual practice focused on growth, learning, peace, etc. is usually very helpful.

If that's not sufficient, consultation with someone in that spirituality or religion may help. Divination or meditation may help. Other protective practices may help. But there's an awful lot of possible options here, so knowing more about what you do and don't feel comfortable with would be a first necessary step in making more specific suggestions. (And really, doing the previous three steps is pretty important first.)

One final caution:
You may come across people on line or associated with stores or whatever who say they can remove curses for you. Any time someone *charges* for that, there's a potential that there's a scam involved. (A pretty good potential, in fact.) Even more so if they do something initially that's pretty affordable - like $20 or so - and then come back and say "Oh, I need a lot more to actually fix this."

There are lines of magical and cultural practice where fixing curses is a thing people pay for, and there are people who can do it competently, but if you're outside those traditions, finding the people who are competent and aren't scamming you is really hard. You are, in general, a lot better off doing cleansing and protective work yourself, or within your own religious or spiritual tradition, or working with someone who's focused on helping you grow and learn, rather than charging for activities you can't evaluate for effectiveness yourself.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2016, 01:58:51 pm by Jenett »
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SunflowerP

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2016, 03:37:47 pm »
Quote from: Pickle;194226
Hi Sunflower - I think I was typing a reply whilst you were in the process of moving the post, I guess you'll now need to move my reply too?  Sorry...

 
Since I was moving it as a thread, not as a post, any replies should have come along too, or posted to the thread wherever it was. Your reply seems to have vanished into the ether (which shouldn't happen, but I suppose you hit post at exactly the wrong moment or something like that), so you'll have to repost it.

Sunflower
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I do so have a life; I just live part of it online!
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” - Oscar Wilde
"Nobody's good at anything until they practice." - Brina (Yewberry)
My much-neglected blog "If You Ain't Makin' Waves, You Ain't Kickin' Hard Enough"

PerditaPickle

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2016, 03:57:53 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;194242
Since I was moving it as a thread, not as a post, any replies should have come along too, or posted to the thread wherever it was. Your reply seems to have vanished into the ether (which shouldn't happen, but I suppose you hit post at exactly the wrong moment or something like that), so you'll have to repost it.

Sunflower


Oh dear that's a shame, I think I'll struggle to work up the energy to re-post it.  But I also see that another user has since responded much more thoroughly than mine, already, so hopefully that's helpful to the OP.
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Jenett

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2016, 04:00:51 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;194232

I have an essay up on my website about protection practices you can take


And I just realised I hadn't managed to actually put the link in there. http://gleewood.org/seeking/practices/protection-practices/.
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PerditaPickle

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2016, 04:36:42 pm »
Quote from: Sedadaze;194222
I feel like no one gets me. No one understands me on a level I need them to. I feel like friends are distant and they simply tolerate me. I'm weird, off the wall and other such stuff.


Hi Sedadaze,

I'll try again, my original seems to have vanished, unfortunately.

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.  I believe lots of people do at some point in their lives, if it helps to know you're not alone.

Friends can sometimes seem distant for lots of reasons, and it's best to try not to take it personally, it usually isn't - one thing that's helped me a lot is remembering that all of our friends (and everyone, actually) each have lots going on in their own lives, too.  They may not mean to neglect you or seem distant - they may not even realise they're doing it.

Regarding hexes/curses, I'm afraid I don't have any experience, really, as I'm pretty new to Paganism myself.

Sorry, this is not as in depth as my original, but my energy has pretty much run out for today.  I hope maybe it helps a bit.  Take care.
“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” – The Buddha
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My Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity blog

milkeyedmender

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Re: Have I been cursed?
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2016, 11:42:10 pm »
Quote from: Sedadaze;194222
I know nothing about pagainism or wicca. That's to start you off.

I feel like no one gets me. No one understands me on a level I need them to. I feel like friends are distant and they simply tolerate me. I'm weird, off the wall and other such stuff.

It's been diagnosed as ADHD, autism, depression, borderline personality...

I think I may have been cursed or hexed. (yes, I've done things to deserve it).

Is there a way to tell if you have something against you and if so, is there a way to tell if it's got an expiration date or if it could be cleansed?

 
I empathize wholeheartedly with the distant friend dance.  I think a lot of people go through that.  For me, working on myself has been the remedy.  I can literally remember the day/moment/second that I decided "What could I do if I put all the energy I spend on others (boyfriends/friends/roommates) and put it back in myself."  I know it's simple, but it's helped me.

May I ask what makes you believe you've been cursed?  Are you having spiritual symptoms of it?

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