The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Hello, Rikki! I hope, that you will find the help you need.

I practice Late Roman religion and philosophical-rather-than-religious Druidry, but I also practice Western Ceremonial Magic, of a sort that includes an unusual Christian worldview. I understand, to a certain extent, how it is to practice more than one spiritual path.

I am not very knowledgeable about Baptism. It is a very unusual form of Christianity in my part of the world, and the Swedish Baptist Denomination was abolished in 2011, because of a merger with the Congregationalists and the Methodists. All of them now constitute the Uniting Church in Sweden, and they are now all non-conformist dissenter  Christians in an indistinct sort of non-denominational way.

I had positive experiences of the Lutheran retreat movement in the past (retreats and meditation are good tools!), but disappointing experiences of other aspects of Lutheran ecclesiastical life.

I read Jakob Böhme and William Law, and I like the way High Anglicans worship, but, for doctrinal reasons, I do not identify myself as Christian. Unlike paganism, Christianity is - at least to a certain extent - a doctrinal religion, and such things matter.

Forgive me if I seem annoying and beyond help as I type this.

My name is Rikki but I go by many other names and though I love my name I do not mind being given a nick name. Please feel free to call me Little Wolf ( short for Little Wolf of Two Moons) or even Lawless (Lawless Crow) Or anything you wish to honestly.

I am happily married to the love of my life for a year now though we have been together for eight years. I am a self proclaimed writer though I struggle with my muses often.
I am a proud mother of 6 furbabies, four charming felines and two dashing dogs.

I have always had a strong pull towards the path of Shamanism and Baptism.  A of lately the pull to go to church has dwindled to nothing and the pull to find my 'Church' in the woods has grown stronger. I have been visited and marked by four beasts, the Wolf who gave me my name, the Coyote who calls me his child, a Crow who claims me his sister and a Hawk her friend.  Over the years a Jackal headed God has shown himself in both the realm of sleep, meditations and waking.

I will admit I am here looking for help and some guidance if I may have it.

I am not the right person to ask about private and sensitive inner experiences.

If I have to relate to the visions you described to my own paths, I would notice the following:

Some inner experiences are a message from your own unconscious mind to your everyday-consciousness. In that case (which probably is the most frequently occurring one), the animals are symbols of parts of your own mind, and there is no need to explain them as outward entities.

In some cases the animals perhaps may be the mental shapes used by local nature spirits in order to interact with you. If the experience is positive and doesn't lead to something harmful, there is no need to worry.

In ancient Egyptian religion, hawks were associated with Horus, jackals associated with Anubis, and wolves associated with Ophois (I use Greek name-forms). Coyote is a distinctly New World animal, which is a good argument against any Egyptian connection.

In Roman religion, crows are associated with Apollo, wolves with Mars, and these associations also frequently occur in Western Ceremonial Magic.