Author Topic: Stuck at the basics. (Read 8516 times)

Caleb Oak · « **on:** April 17, 2016, 08:01:23 am »

*Insert generic greeting here* :ange:

Lets say you have been stuck at the basics for years, not getting any better while you keep trying harder and harder, getting more angry and frustrated with every failure.
You get the basics of energy work, but you dont seem to get beyond that point.

Jealousy is also increasing of those who get it more easily, leading to self hatred and rage against those who almost seem to be born with these abileties.

You keep thinking: "I deserve it more because I worked harder at it than them!"

What would you do in that case? :confused:

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #1 on:** April 17, 2016, 09:25:02 am »

Quote from: Thrak;190208

*Insert generic greeting here* :ange:

Lets say you have been stuck at the basics for years, not getting any better while you keep trying harder and harder, getting more angry and frustrated with every failure.
You get the basics of energy work, but you dont seem to get beyond that point.

Jealousy is also increasing of those who get it more easily, leading to self hatred and rage against those who almost seem to be born with these abileties.

You keep thinking: "I deserve it more because I worked harder at it than them!"

What would you do in that case? :confused:

I think i posted this subject a long time ago as well, but i honestly can not remember.... :ashamed:

Allaya · « **Reply #2 on:** April 17, 2016, 10:04:09 am »

Quote from: Thrak;190209

I think i posted this subject a long time ago as well, but i honestly can not remember.... :ashamed:

http://ecauldron.com/forum/showthread.php?10927-Magical-envy.

http://ecauldron.com/forum/showthread.php?10687-What-if-you-cant-ground-yourself.

http://ecauldron.com/forum/showthread.php?11024-My-faith-list

You were quite prolific. I suggest very carefully reviewing your prior threads (linked above) before continuing this one.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #3 on:** April 17, 2016, 10:08:14 am »

Quote from: Allaya;190210

http://ecauldron.com/forum/showthread.php?10927-Magical-envy.

http://ecauldron.com/forum/showthread.php?10687-What-if-you-cant-ground-yourself.

You were quite prolific. I suggest very carefully reviewing both of your prior threads (linked above) before continuing this one.

Sound advice. Will do.

PS: I remember now.
I was more angry and un ehhhhh well i had more violent mood swings.
I guess the main thing still is a raging desire for power.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #4 on:** April 17, 2016, 11:52:42 am »

Quote from: Thrak;190211

Sound advice. Will do.

PS: I remember now.
I was more angry and un ehhhhh well i had more violent mood swings.
I guess the main thing still is a raging desire for power.

I have looked at them and I think it comes down to 3 things.

1: My fear of being overpowered,outclassed/overshadowed/humiliated/dominated by pagan/wiccan women/witches.

2:My desire for power and absurd amounts of spiritual energy so I am never vulnerable in my energy work/magic/mojo ever again.

3: The feeling of not progressing as much as i want to in my energy work.
(Since I was about 11/12 years old and I am close to 30, so go figure)

Faemon · « **Reply #5 on:** April 17, 2016, 12:44:15 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190208

Lets say you have been stuck at the basics for years, not getting any better while you keep trying harder and harder

This I can relate to.

Quote

getting more angry and frustrated with every failure

No, I got bored but kept on with it because practice makes Pavlovian reactions.

Quote

You get the basics of energy work, but you dont seem to get beyond that point.

I outgrew energy work. I guess I achieved the basics, practiced more "intermediate" or "advanced" telekinesis to no result, decided I was not the one to achieve any result, explored more of something else that was working for me...

And now I don't believe in subtle energy, and believe even those basics that I had achieved to have been misinterpreted by myself at the time. It remains a valuable stepping stone on my journey regardless.

Quote

Jealousy is also increasing of those who get it more easily, leading to self hatred and rage

Nope. I do remember being very annoyed and irritated, during my psionics days, at pseudo-yogis who would barge into psionics forums all, "You're wasting your time with telekinesis! All you need is more transcendental meditation! Cosmic love!" Like they were better than all of us or something, but really they were just inappropriate as in off-topic. So, I aim not to do that, even though I now do work more with something like love, not so much anymore something like telekinesis. It's not jealousy (and it's not condescension) it's just knowing that what I grew into isn't better than what I grew out of. It's just different, maybe better for me personally, but not objectively better for everyone in the world.

Quote

against those who almost seem to be born with these abileties.

Everyone is born the way they are born. I will say more about this after recommending Shadow Work, though.

Quote

You keep thinking: "I deserve it more because I worked harder at it than them!"

That can be a natural impulse or reaction. But thinking you deserve something, by itself, (or even working hard, just ask any Marxist) is no guarantee that you'll get something. It also depends on whether you suit the system, whether that's economic, ecological, or cultural or subcultural. (And of course what you do in these systems, but you don't need to be told that.)

Quote

What would you do in that case? :confused:

Three possible options, though I personally wouldn't do the third one.

1.) Shadow Work. So much Shadow Work. All the Shadow Work ever. There might be several precautions recommended somewhere because this sort of thing can be too powerful, but I personally say that this is impossible to get stuck in or fail to develop, because recognizing where you're stuck and failing is the development.

2.) And in this case, maybe there is a social privileging among spiritualists, for those who show signs considered a natural aptitude early on. The thing to do about that is to speak out against this unfairness in this context: non-mystics can be as respectably spiritual and religious as mystics, have perspectives equally valued, and contributions well worthwhile without woo~woo.

3.) Or change context. Mystics aren't powerful in the secular world, we're considered dangerously deluded or lying! Now it's easy for you. Just decide that mystics are pitiably sick in the head, or lying. You can direct your efforts and ambitions to something else, anything else, and then you'll be better than everyone you hate.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #6 on:** April 17, 2016, 01:19:07 pm »

Quote from: Faemon;190215

This I can relate to.

No, I got bored but kept on with it because practice makes Pavlovian reactions.

I outgrew energy work. I guess I achieved the basics, practiced more "intermediate" or "advanced" telekinesis to no result, decided I was not the one to achieve any result, explored more of something else that was working for me...

And now I don't believe in subtle energy, and believe even those basics that I had achieved to have been misinterpreted by myself at the time. It remains a valuable stepping stone on my journey regardless.

Nope. I do remember being very annoyed and irritated, during my psionics days, at pseudo-yogis who would barge into psionics forums all, "You're wasting your time with telekinesis! All you need is more transcendental meditation! Cosmic love!" Like they were better than all of us or something, but really they were just inappropriate as in off-topic. So, I aim not to do that, even though I now do work more with something like love, not so much anymore something like telekinesis. It's not jealousy (and it's not condescension) it's just knowing that what I grew into isn't better than what I grew out of. It's just different, maybe better for me personally, but not objectively better for everyone in the world.

Everyone is born the way they are born. I will say more about this after recommending Shadow Work, though.

That can be a natural impulse or reaction. But thinking you deserve something, by itself, (or even working hard, just ask any Marxist) is no guarantee that you'll get something. It also depends on whether you suit the system, whether that's economic, ecological, or cultural or subcultural. (And of course what you do in these systems, but you don't need to be told that.)

Three possible options, though I personally wouldn't do the third one.

1.) Shadow Work. So much Shadow Work. All the Shadow Work ever. There might be several precautions recommended somewhere because this sort of thing can be too powerful, but I personally say that this is impossible to get stuck in or fail to develop, because recognizing where you're stuck and failing is the development.

2.) And in this case, maybe there is a social privileging among spiritualists, for those who show signs considered a natural aptitude early on. The thing to do about that is to speak out against this unfairness in this context: non-mystics can be as respectably spiritual and religious as mystics, have perspectives equally valued, and contributions well worthwhile without woo~woo.

3.) Or change context. Mystics aren't powerful in the secular world, we're considered dangerously deluded or lying! Now it's easy for you. Just decide that mystics are pitiably sick in the head, or lying. You can direct your efforts and ambitions to something else, anything else, and then you'll be better than everyone you hate.

Ok. *thinking*........

1:Writing is somewhat like Shadow Work for me, but that wont get me what I want.

2:Than what? Be a weakling flunky or some servant to a self righteous priestess who had every bit of her 'abilities'' handed to her on a silver platter?
No offense but if that's the case I am going to.... I don't know......... :confused:

3:I tried that, i even gave up paganism, but when you see energy every day in your life you can not ignore it, and I still have this burning urge to prove I am not weak.

I mean what in the name of the Ori do I do?
-Accept a submissive role?
-Hide my energy work and feel more weak with every day again?
-Find some way to cheat? If there is.....
Sorry but this feels pretty degrading.....

I already have a mental handicap I do not need to be spiritually inferior as welll...

Darkhawk · « **Reply #7 on:** April 17, 2016, 02:16:57 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190216

I already have a mental handicap I do not need to be spiritually inferior as welll...

Not having skill at energy work has as much to do with being "spiritually inferior" as not having skill at making pottery does.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #8 on:** April 17, 2016, 02:32:22 pm »

Quote from: Darkhawk;190218

Not having skill at energy work has as much to do with being "spiritually inferior" as not having skill at making pottery does.

You lost me.....
Sorry but i do not follow your logic....

Faemon · « **Reply #9 on:** April 17, 2016, 02:48:08 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190216

1:Writing is somewhat like Shadow Work for me, but that wont get me what I want.

Sometimes emotional intensity, especially trauma, forms blocks in the flow of energy. Once you've progressed with some (psychological) Shadow Work, it could be easier. Sitting down to breakfast won't get you to the finish line of a racetrack, but it's a bad idea not to have anything. The breakfast is shadow work. The racetrack is...magic, I don't know, did you want telekinesis?

Quote

2:Than what? Be a weakling flunky

No, because you'll be among people who won't perceive you that way, when you've spoken up against being perceived that way. This "weakling flunky servant" status is not a fact, but a social construct, a contrivance, an illusion. But when you write the way you do, about non-mystics being "weakling flunky servants" as a fact then you continue to support the way the world is that has already harmed you.

Quote

to a self righteous priestess who had every bit of her 'abilities'' handed to her on a silver platter

How much of this hypothetical righteousness and 'abilities'' are the products of social currency, or social proof? You are part of society, therefore you have social power. Exercising your persuasive skills in the direction of making nonmystics respectable is not a distraction from ultimate magic power, it's an act of willpower, a skill transferrable to magic skill.

Unless, in lording it over those self-righteous natural-born priestesses, you really also want to lord it over nonmystic "weaklings". Then I cannot help you.

Quote

when you see energy every day in your life you can not ignore it

You've witnessed these abilities in other, in action, with the caster's ease then?

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #10 on:** April 17, 2016, 03:03:45 pm »

Quote from: Faemon;190220

Sometimes emotional intensity, especially trauma, forms blocks in the flow of energy. Once you've progressed with some (psychological) Shadow Work, it could be easier. Sitting down to breakfast won't get you to the finish line of a racetrack, but it's a bad idea not to have anything. The breakfast is shadow work. The racetrack is...magic, I don't know, did you want telekinesis?

No, because you'll be among people who won't perceive you that way, when you've spoken up against being perceived that way. This "weakling flunky servant" status is not a fact, but a social construct, a contrivance, an illusion. But when you write the way you do, about non-mystics being "weakling flunky servants" as a fact then you continue to support the way the world is that has already harmed you. How much of this hypothetical righteousness and 'abilities'' are the products of social currency, or social proof? You are part of society, therefore you have social power. Exercising your persuasive skills in the direction of making nonmystics respectable is not a distraction from ultimate magic power, it's an act of willpower, a skill transferrable to magic skill.

Unless, in lording it over those self-righteous natural-born priestesses, you really also want to lord it over nonmystic "weaklings". Then I cannot help you.

You've witnessed these abilities in other, in action, with the caster's ease then?

1: I think I am passed that, but somehow it never feels like its enough.
I can form flows of energy the size of a football field but it is not enough.
(The thing i want(ed) is more than passive abileties like seeing energy and emotions)

2:Ok, valid point, i must say, though i can not see another reason for doing energy work other than gaining power, or some sort of other spiritual gain.

3:Not the type of power i mean.

I mean the power to ''bend'' energy.

4: Yes i have.

PS: And with a weakling i mean the guy in the group who cleans up when the priestess is done, and is expected to sit in the back etc.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #11 on:** April 17, 2016, 03:42:28 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190222

1: I think I am passed that, but somehow it never feels like its enough.
I can form flows of energy the size of a football field but it is not enough.
(The thing i want(ed) is more than passive abileties like seeing energy and emotions)

2:Ok, valid point, i must say, though i can not see another reason for doing energy work other than gaining power, or some sort of other spiritual gain.

3:Not the type of power i mean. I mean the power to ''bend'' energy.

4: Yes i have.

PS: And with a weakling i mean the guy in the group who cleans up when the priestess is done, and is expected to sit in the back etc.

PS: A source on energy work with no yin yang stuff would be nice to. :ange:
And dont all reply at once. Thankies. LOL

Jenett · « **Reply #12 on:** April 17, 2016, 03:54:51 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190223

And dont all reply at once. Thankies. LOL

People spent a lot of time replying to you on the previous threads that Allaya linked on page one. People may feel they've said everything they were likely to say to your particular take on things in those threads.

And of course, people may be doing other things with their time, not feel they have answers to your particular questions, or other things like that. Expecting people to answer - or in your preferred time frame - is probably going to lead to disappointment. (It also comes pretty close to telling other people how to post, which is against this forum's rules.)

Personally, your various comments have made it pretty clear that you don't want to hear what I'd write as suggestions, so I'd rather spend my afternoon doing something more productive.

Caleb Oak · « **Reply #13 on:** April 17, 2016, 03:57:01 pm »

Quote from: Jenett;190224

People spent a lot of time replying to you on the previous threads that Allaya linked on page one. People may feel they've said everything they were likely to say to your particular take on things in those threads.

And of course, people may be doing other things with their time, not feel they have answers to your particular questions, or other things like that. Expecting people to answer - or in your preferred time frame - is probably going to lead to disappointment. (It also comes pretty close to telling other people how to post, which is against this forum's rules.)

Personally, your various comments have made it pretty clear that you don't want to hear what I'd write as suggestions, so I'd rather spend my afternoon doing something more productive.

Its just a joke to lighten the mood.
Humor attempt failed... LOL

Allaya · « **Reply #14 on:** April 17, 2016, 04:49:23 pm »

Quote from: Thrak;190225

Its just a joke to lighten the mood.
Humor attempt failed... LOL

Joking aside, Jenett is correct in that people spent a lot of time with you in the other thread and may well have nothing more to say to you regarding your grievances.

You may not be exhibiting as much raw anger and resentment as you did previously, but it appears that your underlying complaints remain the same. Therefore, it's not really productive for those people who have limited time and energy to rehash what they've already advised you.

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