collapse

* Recent Posts

Re: "Christ Is King" by SunflowerP
[Yesterday at 11:06:51 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by SunflowerP
[Yesterday at 10:30:17 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Darkhawk
[Yesterday at 08:31:19 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Darkhawk
[Yesterday at 07:54:40 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Sefiru
[Yesterday at 07:44:49 pm]

Author Topic: You could be under a witchcraft attack  (Read 6661 times)

Altair

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Location: New York, New York
  • *
  • Posts: 3752
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 937
  • Fly high and make the world follow
    • View Profile
    • Songs of the Metamythos
  • Religion: tree-hugging pagan
  • Preferred Pronouns: he/him/his
You could be under a witchcraft attack
« on: October 20, 2015, 12:13:48 pm »
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/the-plumb-line/24566-5-clear-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you-right-now

But wait! There's more:

http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/52687-3-more-sure-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!
The first song sets the wheel in motion / The second is a song of love / The third song tells of Her devotion / The fourth cries joy from the sky above
The fifth song binds our fate to silence / and bids us live each moment well / The sixth unleashes rage and violence / The seventh song has truth to tell
The last song echoes through the ages / to ask its question all night long / And close the circle on these pages / These, the metamythos songs

catonmyshirt

  • Sr. Newbie
  • **
  • Join Date: Oct 2015
  • Posts: 19
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2015, 12:59:27 pm »
Oh, boy.

Chatelaine

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 773
  • Country: gb
  • Total likes: 93
  • Metaphors be with you.
    • View Profile
    • Are We There Yet?
  • Religion: Eastern Orthodox Christian
  • Preferred Pronouns: she/her/hers
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2015, 02:00:32 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!


'You created us restless, O Lord, and we find no rest until we rest in You.'
~St Augustine~
Whole blog o' nonsense: Are We There Yet?

RandallS

  • Site Admin
  • *
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Location: NE Ohio
  • Posts: 10311
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 296
    • View Profile
  • Religion: Hellenic Pagan
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2015, 03:50:38 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

Oh my! Witchcraft must be attacking just about everyone I know locally. We all have some combination of watering eyes, runny noses, sneezing and coughing. It couldn't be ragweed and early cedar pollen -- that's too simple and obvious -- so that leaves witchcraft.:eek:

:hdsk::hdsk::hdsk::hdsk:
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free

HarpingHawke

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2013
  • *
  • Posts: 1531
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 16
    • View Profile
  • Religion: shapeshifting, witchery, polytheism. under endless construction.
  • Preferred Pronouns: they/them
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2015, 04:25:36 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now


 
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying right now. Snark when I'm slightly more coherent.

Gods I love fundies.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

Juniperberry

  • Grand Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Banned!
  • Posts: 1891
  • Total likes: 4
    • View Profile
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2015, 06:45:58 pm »
Quote from: HarpingHawke;181280
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying right now. Snark when I'm slightly more coherent.

Gods I love fundies.

Laugh now, but this is real. Witches and fundies have been engulfed in a vicious war for quite awhile. I'm glad you brought this to everyone's attention, Altair, because now we can seriously address how to combat the five signs you're under a fundie attack.

Warning: This content may be disturbing.

1. Disgust. Fundamental conservatism makes you feel disgust. Not for yourself, but for those people who dare to live a life with rights and equality. When fundies attack, it's hard to make the right decisions. You may find yourself picketing funerals and wondering how you got there.

2. Trouble Thinking Critically. When conservatism attacks, you may find yourself unable to look at all logical angles of a situation. Your mind will stop processing any information that doesn't come from FOX News.

3.Wanting to Harass Others. I like people. I enjoy intelligent conversation. But whenever I feel the need to go door to door in my neighborhood to inform people that they're going to hell, I know I've been the victim of a fundie attack.

4. Forgetting What Facts Are. Earth is 4 billion years old. I am an evolved species. Climate change is occurring. But when fundies attack we forget these things. Suddenly earth was formed in literally six days. I come from the rib of a man. Climate change is democratic propaganda.  

5. Hateful, Paranoid, and Ignorant. We all get mad from time to time. Sometimes we question the intentions of others or realize we don't know some things. But when fundies attack these normal emotions escalate. If you find yourself stopping marriages, hunting eight years for a Kenyan birth certificate, or considering voting for Trump, realize that you have become a victim of conservatism and seek help.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 06:48:21 pm by Juniperberry »
The pace of progress in artificial intelligence (I’m not referring to narrow AI) is incredibly fast. [...] The risk of something seriously dangerous happening is in the five year timeframe. 10 years at most.--Elon Musk

I am in the camp that is concerned about super intelligence," [Bill] Gates wrote. "First the machines will do a lot of jobs for us and not be super intelligent. That should be positive if we manage it well. A few decades after that though the intelligence is strong enough to be a concern. I agree with Elon Musk and some others on this and don\'t understand why some people are not concerned."

HarpingHawke

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2013
  • *
  • Posts: 1531
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 16
    • View Profile
  • Religion: shapeshifting, witchery, polytheism. under endless construction.
  • Preferred Pronouns: they/them
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2015, 07:52:51 pm »
Quote from: Juniperberry;181281

JB, you're not helping! XD

As with all good satire, there is some truth in it.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 07:56:05 pm by HarpingHawke »
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

HarpingHawke

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2013
  • *
  • Posts: 1531
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 16
    • View Profile
  • Religion: shapeshifting, witchery, polytheism. under endless construction.
  • Preferred Pronouns: they/them
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2015, 08:02:01 pm »
Quote from: HarpingHawke;181287
JB, you're not helping! XD

As with all good satire, there is some truth in it.

 
I've also become lost in the black hole of this website. Here is a link to something about Trump. I'm wheezing but also very concerned.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

RandallS

  • Site Admin
  • *
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Location: NE Ohio
  • Posts: 10311
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 296
    • View Profile
  • Religion: Hellenic Pagan
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2015, 09:50:12 pm »
Quote from: HarpingHawke;181288
I've also become lost in the black hole of this website. Here is a link to something about Trump. I'm wheezing but also very concerned.

My head is spinning after reading that.
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free

Lana288

  • Master Member
  • ******
  • Join Date: Apr 2014
  • *
  • Posts: 255
  • Country: 00
  • Total likes: 5
    • View Profile
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2015, 12:30:25 am »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/the-plumb-line/24566-5-clear-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you-right-now

But wait! There's more:

http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/52687-3-more-sure-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!

 
Uh... Is this satire? I honestly can't tell. Even surfing the site, I can't hard to tell, what with subtitles like "underestimating the power of pigskin and prayer".

Altair

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Location: New York, New York
  • *
  • Posts: 3752
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 937
  • Fly high and make the world follow
    • View Profile
    • Songs of the Metamythos
  • Religion: tree-hugging pagan
  • Preferred Pronouns: he/him/his
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2015, 06:23:02 am »
Quote from: Ian288;181304
Uh... Is this satire? I honestly can't tell. Even surfing the site, I can't hard to tell, what with subtitles like "underestimating the power of pigskin and prayer".


Nope. The crazy is bona fide!
The first song sets the wheel in motion / The second is a song of love / The third song tells of Her devotion / The fourth cries joy from the sky above
The fifth song binds our fate to silence / and bids us live each moment well / The sixth unleashes rage and violence / The seventh song has truth to tell
The last song echoes through the ages / to ask its question all night long / And close the circle on these pages / These, the metamythos songs

RandallS

  • Site Admin
  • *
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Location: NE Ohio
  • Posts: 10311
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 296
    • View Profile
  • Religion: Hellenic Pagan
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2015, 07:45:59 am »
Quote from: Ian288;181304
Uh... Is this satire? I honestly can't tell.

I thought it might be satire but it really appears not to be.
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free

Gigi Kiersten

  • Sr. Apprentice
  • ****
  • Join Date: Oct 2014
  • Posts: 96
  • Total likes: 2
    • View Profile
    • http://www.cheapskatewitch.com
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2015, 03:17:20 pm »
Quote from: RandallS;181313
I thought it might be satire but it really appears not to be.




Just when I thought my faith in humanity was at it's lowest point it dips again. Seriously, most of that sounds like either physical or mental illness than anything witchcraft. These fundies need to be more creative, because this is down right sad.

Materialist

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Oct 2012
  • Posts: 605
  • Total likes: 1
    • View Profile
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2015, 10:12:08 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...


During the colonial period, witches were evil: killing cattle and babies, stealing food, afflicting folks with fatal diseases, blighting crops-now they've been reduced to inducing sniveling, self-centered, pity parties? Hmf.

Scent of Pine

  • Sr. Apprentice
  • ****
  • Join Date: Dec 2012
  • Posts: 63
  • Country: 00
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2015, 11:20:01 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/the-plumb-line/24566-5-clear-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you-right-now

But wait! There's more:

http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/52687-3-more-sure-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!

 

Anyone else reading this hear it in Jeff Foxworthy's voice?

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
5 Replies
2265 Views
Last post July 23, 2011, 06:59:14 pm
by Adele
2 Replies
2057 Views
Last post August 04, 2011, 11:51:11 am
by BW8
3 Replies
2143 Views
Last post September 09, 2011, 11:04:00 am
by Darkhawk
2 Replies
1184 Views
Last post December 13, 2011, 06:19:05 pm
by victoreia
11 Replies
1885 Views
Last post January 30, 2014, 08:30:02 am
by Lokadottir

* Who's Online

  • Dot Guests: 203
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 1
  • Dot Users Online:

* Please Donate!

The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.

* Shop & Support TC

The links below are affiliate links. When you click on one of these links you will go to the listed shopping site with The Cauldron's affiliate code. Any purchases you make during your visit will earn TC a tiny percentage of your purchase price at no extra cost to you.

* In Memoriam

Chavi (2006)
Elspeth (2010)
Marilyn (2013)

* Cauldron Staff

Host:
Sunflower

Message Board Staff
Board Coordinator:
Darkhawk

Assistant Board Coordinator:
Aster Breo

Senior Staff:
Aisling, Allaya, Jenett, Sefiru

Staff:
Ashmire, EclecticWheel, HarpingHawke, Kylara, PerditaPickle, rocquelaire

Discord Chat Staff
Chat Coordinator:
Morag

'Up All Night' Coordinator:
Altair

Cauldron Council:
Bob, Catja, Chatelaine, Emma-Eldritch, Fausta, Jubes, Kelly, LyricFox, Phouka, Sperran, Star, Steve, Tana

Site Administrator:
Randall

SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal