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Author Topic: You could be under a witchcraft attack  (Read 6658 times)

Mellee

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #15 on: October 22, 2015, 01:55:58 am »
Quote from: Altair;181258

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

 
What a shame that the best cure for witchcraft attacks is actual witchcraft. :dwink:  Removing hexes used to be a good way to make a living!

Jukka

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #16 on: October 22, 2015, 07:19:10 pm »
Quote from: Ian288;181304
Uh... Is this satire? I honestly can't tell. Even surfing the site, I can't hard to tell, what with subtitles like "underestimating the power of pigskin and prayer".

 
I'm pretty sure these are real Christian websites, I know there is a Charisma magazine that's for Christians.
 
If so, this is completely ridiculous.

Elding

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2015, 07:52:33 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/the-plumb-line/24566-5-clear-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you-right-now

But wait! There's more:

http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/52687-3-more-sure-signs-witchcraft-is-attacking-you

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!

 
It's beautiful :D SO much CONVINCINGNESS in just ONE ARTICLE..! Oh truly this is a masterpiece.

In fact, this article is just SO CONVINCING, that I think I heard the tune of angel choirs when I was reading it and-
*checks Spotify history*
Oh... Ooops. That was just the satanic church burning death metal. My bad.
Out in the woods, and I\'m not alone, but the sun\'s quickly going down!
There! In the trees! Something stalking me! Stop walking around!
\'K, just be cool, don\'t be such a fool! There is nothing at all to fear...
... other than the trees and the night and a beam of light, and the breathing in my ear...
[/I]

MeadowRae

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2015, 08:10:11 pm »
Quote from: Scent of Pine;181367
Anyone else reading this hear it in Jeff Foxworthy's voice?

 
I didn't, but now I do. What has been heard cannot be un-heard. :)
The genderqueer witch your mother warned you about

victoreia

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #19 on: November 24, 2015, 02:08:12 am »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now

(snip)

"1. Are you on an emotional roller coaster, rushing from anger to sadness to confusion? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"2. Are you so overwhelmed with your circumstances that you just want to call in sick, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? You could be under a witchcraft attack.

"3. Do you feel like nobody can possibly understand what you are going through and that nobody even cares anyway? You could be under a witchcraft attack...."

That's only 3 of the 7 telltale signs. The snark potential for what else these "sure signs" could be is unlimited. Simply delicious!

 
Well, now I'm confused. I thought I was suffering from depression. But it's really an attack of witchcraft? But the only person I know (personally) who knows anything about witchcraft is....me. Does this mean I'm attacking myself? :confused:

 :rolleye::  :hdsk:
Do. Or do not. There is no try.  --Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

We are star stuff. We are the universe, made manifest. --Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5

Mind how you go. -- Granny Weatherwax

RandallS

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2015, 08:04:25 am »
Quote from: victoreia;182705
Well, now I'm confused. I thought I was suffering from depression. But it's really an attack of witchcraft? But the only person I know (personally) who knows anything about witchcraft is....me. Does this mean I'm attacking myself? :confused:
 :rolleye::  :hdsk:
Perhaps there are witches out there attacking people at random. Or maybe those witches you have not heard of have heard of you and are attacking you because they know there is a prophecy about you destroying them.... Oh, never mind, that was Harry Potter.....
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free

Wanderer894

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2015, 10:00:58 pm »
Quote from: Altair;181258
From the outer fringes of the conservative Christian universe, Charisma website senior editor Jennifer LeClaire brings you...

Clear Signs Witchcraft Is Attacking You Right Now



Apparently the author can't tell the difference between "a witchcraft attack" and mental illness. *facepalm*
I love a good metallurgical take on the phrase "What the F---?"

Morag

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #22 on: November 24, 2015, 10:53:36 pm »
Quote from: victoreia;182705
Well, now I'm confused. I thought I was suffering from depression. But it's really an attack of witchcraft? But the only person I know (personally) who knows anything about witchcraft is....me. Does this mean I'm attacking myself? :confused:

 :rolleye::  :hdsk:

 
Now all that's going through my head is a riff off the "stop hitting yourself" game.

"Stop hexing yourself! Stop hexing yourself!"

()
Pray drunk. Hex sober.
Priestess of the 3
"The most powerful god at any given moment is the one who can solve the moment's problem."
-Darkhawk

HarpingHawke

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Re: You could be under a witchcraft attack
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2015, 12:25:07 pm »
Quote from: Morag;182752

"Stop hexing yourself! Stop hexing yourself!"

 
I am so happy Rule 1 exists. Oh man I'm wheezing.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

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