The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Greetings, greetings all! I've been sort of on the fence as to whether or not I should do something like this--joining a big community or forum, I mean. I've got some manner of practice, but it's really very here-and-there, and I'm hoping that perhaps joining a place like this might help me solidify some stuff.

Greetings, greetings all! I've been sort of on the fence as to whether or not I should do something like this--joining a big community or forum, I mean. I've got some manner of practice, but it's really very here-and-there, and I'm hoping that perhaps joining a place like this might help me solidify some stuff.

But first, a bit about me. You can call me Rane or Suzanne. I'm 23 and from Maryland. I'm two years out of college and still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. Right now, I'm working a pretty sweet internship with a wildlife rehabilitation clinic. Prior to that, I was doing basically full-time volunteering with an animal-assisted educational program--I helped out with the animal care for a bunch of non-releasable raptors and reptiles, and did tons of educational programs involving them. I've spent the last few years filling my days with animals, and it's been great.

Even when I'm not tube-feeding a wriggly possum or wrangling a fussy barred owl onto a glove, I'm still working with animals. I have a huge interest in taxidermy, so my room is home to... hoo boy. If you want to talk individuals, I've got something like sixteen deer, eight coyotes, five foxes, a reindeer, a black bear, a spotted hyena, a lioness, three box turtles, three rabbits, four raccoons... and a cow and a goat. I think that's everyone. I did a very loose tally there. This isn't necessarily mounts or pelts or skulls--for example, the hyena is an inch-square scrap of fur--but I consider them all to still be individuals.

I firmly believe that some echo of life remains in the bones and fur of these animals, some lingering spirit, and I enjoy working with them. My practice--if it can be called with that--is pretty loosely defined. I don't have any special rites or rituals I do with them; at most, I'll spend time touching or grooming them, cuddling under the pelts, things like that. I do like to "greet" each of them with a touch whenever I enter the room, though that strikes me as more being polite than anything else.

Some of them will occasionally call out to me to be recognized, either by a feeling (I'll suddenly really, really, really want to have contact with them) or--and this is especially true in the case of my bear pelt--catching my attention via scent. The scent one is interesting, because apparently I'm the only one aware of it when it happens. Just the other day, I was with my friend and had two of my pelts, and suddenly caught a powerful whiff of the one... and my friend couldn't smell him any more than the usual. ...Yes, Daru, I'm talking about you. Please stop stinking up my room already, maybe we'll share some raspberries later.

Speaking of raspberries, occasionally I'll make small "offerings" to the spirits of my pelts and bones. Very occasionally. Rarely, actually. I've always meant to make a habit of it, but I keep getting distracted or forgetting. Sometimes--like in the case of my bear and raspberries--I'll make less of an offering and more of a surrender; whatever spirit that wants what I have will hit me with a "GIVE ME SOME OF THAT" and I usually just go along with it because I love them and if having some of my fruit or a pretty flower will make them happy, then they're going to get it.

Anyway, a good way to sum it up, I guess, is that my current "practices" revolve around death and the dead. A few times in my wildlife rehab job, I've helped ease an animal on its way out--just two nights ago, I held a young rabbit as it breathed its last, after having spent the last four hours first trying to save its life, then trying to palliate it and help it pass comfortably. A few months ago, I dreamed of meeting a fictional death god who I had created for a story, and she and I spoke a lot about death and dying, and while I was with her, I comforted a dying woman. A fascinating dream and one that I'm still trying to work out the meaning of.

While I find others' work with gods fascinating, I don't think I have any interest in it myself. I love my woo-work, but I find that I need that element of physical reality of the bones and furs. A while back, I got an idea into my head about making an apologetic offering to Bast because I hit and killed a cat, but... I never followed through, because the idea of approaching something powerful, ancient, and intangible seriously wigged me out and I just couldn't work up the nerve to do it. I'd thought on and off about approaching Anubis/Anpu/Yinepu but... like I said, the thought of working with gods is a bit unsettling to me personally.

I've never dabbled seriously in spells--my only experience with it was when I had something ooky creeping around in my room that had attacked some of my pelt- and bone-spirits that needed to go. I banished it with some sage scented room spray and a profanity-laden invocation. (Which included my favorite lines of "Who prowls at night and sleeps by day / Go out and get the f*ck away.") I felt about as silly as powerful when I did that, and I've never tried anything like it again--my first reaction to something nasty in my space is to "call up" my spirits and try to intimidate it away, which has worked quite well for me.

Anyway, I feel like I could and want to do more with my practice, so I thought I'd join the boards and try to meet some people and toss around ideas. If you want to know anything more about me, or the spirits I work with, or anything else, feel free to ask! I love talking about my woo-work, but there are so few places where I feel comfortable doing it, and I'm hoping this is going to be one of them!

That is fantastic. Fantastic.



Welcome to TC! I hope this becomes a place where you're comfortable talking, because I'd love to hear more about your practice!