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Author Topic: How to BE Pagan  (Read 2212 times)

Elyria

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How to BE Pagan
« on: January 23, 2015, 09:55:13 pm »
Hey y'all.

I've been going through kind of a... rebuilding phase, I suppose you could say. My whole life, I've done what was expected of me or did what I thought would please others, and I forgot about myself. So this past year, I've been really learning who I am and taking the time to become the person I never got to be.

Well, my spirituality really took a backseat, and I'm wanting to get it back. However, I'm stuck. I don't really know what to do when it comes to my spirituality. I used to be interested in tarot and magick and meditation and communing with nature. But I've lost interest in all of those things.

Tarot is just a way to predict the future, and in my limited experience, knowing what the future holds is dangerous, so I don't use my cards very much anymore. I like oracle cards, getting guidance to help with your frame of mind. But I don't use them often either. I don't really believe in magick anymore. Actually, "believe" is the wrong word. I believe it works. But it doesn't work for me. I'm sure there could be a number of reasons, including that I don't follow the rules. I don't believe I should have to use certain tools during certain moon phases and say certain words. I do it very free-form, which is probably my downfall. I do "rituals," which is really just me calling the elements, lighting candles, and talking to my deities. The only time I meditate is when I want to speak with Morrigan and Dagda, which happens less than I'd like to admit (and I can't even honestly say if they are "real" encounters or just sheer imagination).

The only thing I have anymore that even remotely says pagan is my jewelry (I have two necklaces, one symbolizing Morrigan and one symbolizing Dagda) and I have a table dedicated to them in my living room. It has candles, symbols, and a box full of nature items (gemstones, rocks, feathers, etc.).

But that's it. And at this point, I don't know what else to do. I feel very disconnected and want to get back into it, but I don't know how else to BE a Pagan without meditating, performing spells, or using divination. I try to enjoy being outdoors as much as possible, but it isn't the same. I don't feel as close to my spirituality as I used to, and I just don't know how to get it back...


Any ideas?

Redfaery

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2015, 11:14:12 pm »
Quote from: Elyria;169872
Hey y'all.
Any ideas?

Well...the label "paganism" is so broad as to be almost useless. Really, it's "none of the above." I believe SunflowerP has described it as the "junk drawer" of religions. What you've described is one variety of the many kinds of paganism(s). In Sunflower's junk drawer analogy, you've been using all the loose rubber bands to fix that picture to the wall. Have you tried one of those screws that's rolling around the back?

There's all sorts of paganism varieties. Have you looked at reconstructionism? How about polytheism? Do you feel a draw to any deities in particular? Poke around the SIGs here. Browse through the forums. Look around. There's a LOT to see.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2015, 11:14:41 pm by Redfaery »
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Faemon

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2015, 12:38:53 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872
My whole life, I've done what was expected of me or did what I thought would please others, and I forgot about myself. So this past year, I've been really learning who I am and taking the time to become the person I never got to be.

Well, my spirituality really took a backseat, and I'm wanting to get it back. However, I'm stuck.


Maybe learn from yourself what your spirituality is as part of who you are?

Right now (so that you are aware of my personal bias) I sort of follow Carl Jung's philosophy as I read of it from his Liber Novus, which was his exercises in active imagination, which is imagination that you don't consciously control. When it came to religion, he asserted to his contacts during these episodes (I think the red man he was talking to was some sort of Satan?) that Christianity was such a huge part of Western culture that it had gotten into everybody's psyches and therefore everybody in the Western world (Jung declared) was either Christian or lying to themselves. As his experimentation went on, he found that his psyche was also influenced by Greek mythology and German legends and not just a Bible. Then he changed his tune to polytheism being psychologically healthier.

I think that's still too proscriptive, but the idea that the symbolisms of these notions of crucial importance to ourselves and how we relate to the world are already here with us waiting to be explored, that was a powerful idea to me.
 
When I tried this myself, I got romanticized pirates and anime characters (who were neither ninjas nor, peculiarly, pirates). If that's the manifestation of the wellspring of the personal and collective subconscious, then I'm going to just go with it. Although, I always appreciated fairy tales, and tended to lean either towards literalism in collections of the low/folk fairy mythology--and borrowing Joseph Campbell as a lens, when the fairies were fictions attributable to a specific author who admitted to making it all up but some part would still ring true to me.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2015, 10:29:27 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872

But that's it. And at this point, I don't know what else to do. I feel very disconnected and want to get back into it, but I don't know how else to BE a Pagan without meditating, performing spells, or using divination. I try to enjoy being outdoors as much as possible, but it isn't the same. I don't feel as close to my spirituality as I used to, and I just don't know how to get it back...

 
The way you describe your religion makes it sound distinct from mundane living. This does not need to be the case. Every chore, work duty and pastime can be a ritual if one so chooses to see them that way. Every act of kindness shown another a form of meditation. Your imagination is you only limitation.

DavidMcCann

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2015, 11:43:27 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872
I do "rituals," which is really just me calling the elements, lighting candles, and talking to my deities … but I don't know how else to BE a Pagan without meditating, performing spells, or using divination.
Why do you have to do anything else?

If "pagan" is to mean anything other than "other religions", it means what many academics use it to mean: primary religions rather "invented" ones. To that we can add "neopaganism" — Wicca and Pagan Druidry may be modern, but they're trying to be pagans, and that makes them pagans.

But paganism, like all religion, is precisely about "talking to deities" — and listening, just in case they answer! Some pagans do magic, some do divination, and some do neither. If you don't feel like doing magic or divination at this moment in time, perhaps some-one is telling you something about what you need.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2015, 11:44:03 am by DavidMcCann »
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2015, 11:55:26 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872


Tarot is just a way to predict the future, and in my limited experience, knowing what the future holds is dangerous, so I don't use my cards very much anymore. I like oracle cards, getting guidance to help with your frame of mind. But I don't use them often either. I don't really believe in magick anymore. Actually, "believe" is the wrong word. I believe it works. But it doesn't work for me. I'm sure there could be a number of reasons, including that I don't follow the rules. I don't believe I should have to use certain tools during certain moon phases and say certain words. I do it very free-form, which is probably my downfall. I do "rituals," which is really just me calling the elements, lighting candles, and talking to my deities. The only time I meditate is when I want to speak with Morrigan and Dagda, which happens less than I'd like to admit (and I can't even honestly say if they are "real" encounters or just sheer imagination).


Any ideas?

 
I don't know if this will help much, but it sounds like you have a very specific idea of what you think Paganism is and that idea doesn't fit you very well.  As others have said, there are a lot of different ways to express your Paganism, and you may find that by reading and learning about the different paths you might discover one that really appeals to you.

Just a few thoughts on the specifics you provided...these are just some variations that I have used or have friends who use.  Perhaps something here might spark an interest.

I do use Tarot (and other divination) for seeing a glimpse of the future, but I also use it to see into my current mindset.  I find the symbols can often help me figure things out that have been bothering me (especially when I am feeling upset or stuck and can't figure out why).  I have known several friends who use tarot as symbolic tools, using the cards to represent things they want to do or energies they want to tap into.

When I first started, pretty much all my books and sources listed specific tools and times and words, and I tried to stick to that, but it really didn't work for me.  My practice now is very free-form.  I have tools, but I am really more likely to work with nothing, I love reading and collecting spells but most of the time I just wing it and do what feels right.  

And in regards to prayer and meditation, I have not yet had any of the often described visions or responses from my deities.  I speak and I try my best to listen.  I do get a subtle sense of them in return, but it is often very easy to miss and I do wonder sometimes if I am not paying attention to all that they have to say.  I speak with them because it feels right for me to do it, because I have things I want to share with them, and because I want to be open for them to share with me if they choose.  

I think that sometimes the general perceptions can be very daunting.  A lot of sources speak about things in absolutes or in these grand gestures that I haven't found to be my personal experience.  It is definitely something I struggled with for a long time before I started to let go of what other people said should be happening and just let what worked for me flow.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2015, 09:16:53 pm »
Quote from: DavidMcCann;169894
If "pagan" is to mean anything other than "other religions", it means what many academics use it to mean: primary religions rather "invented" ones. To that we can add "neopaganism" — Wicca and Pagan Druidry may be modern, but they're trying to be pagans, and that makes them pagans.


What academics - in which fields - would those be?

And if the distinction is 'not invented', Wicca and pagan Druidry are excluded by definition; all the 'trying to be' in the world doesn't cancel out the 'invented'. The 'primary vs invented' definition you posit falls completely apart.

Quote
But paganism, like all religion, is precisely about "talking to deities"

 
According to whom?

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2015, 07:00:30 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872

Well, my spirituality really took a backseat, and I'm wanting to get it back. However, I'm stuck. I don't really know what to do when it comes to my spirituality. I used to be interested in tarot and magick and meditation and communing with nature. But I've lost interest in all of those things.


I can only smile because I relate.  Being pagan has no rules.  Sometimes the rules help because we like the ritual, the drama, the whatever.  Sometimes the rules draw us in and then we realize we don't like the rules and they may seem fake to us.

I've been in and out of what I call paganism for years and years.  Recently, I've been practicing Buddhism, but I miss the drama and magic of paganism, so I've come back to it.  Again.  Probably the fourth time out.  I'm needing the magic right now, even as I practice Buddhism.

What I see with you is the questioning and the rejecting and that's a good thing.  Blind faith is just that.  Paganism doesn't mean you have to be a tree-hugging, hippy-looking, goth-tattooed woman who loves cats and celebrates every turn of the moon.

You can be.  It's a choice.  Our life paths aren't usually straight and it's a good thing that you're looking at your road.  That means you're on the right path, imho.  If it's weird, get rid of it.  You might come back and forth, like I have, and that's all good.

"Being" pagan is simply knowing that you are.  The rules and Gods and Goddesses may come and go.  The need to hug a tree may hit you because you recognize the power in that tree.  Or you just say that you reject it all and want to start fresh and will keep your mind open to those things that come your way and that "feel" right.

That's what "being" pagan is, I believe.  For me, right now, being pagan is finding God in the numbers of the universe--Pythagoras, Hawking, Greene...  that's where I am.  You get to choose where you are!

Quote from: Elyria;169872
Tarot is just a way to predict the future, and in my limited experience, knowing what the future holds is dangerous, so I don't use my cards very much anymore.


Don't discount the tarot--it's not just about fortune-telling.  The cards are an incredible mirror.  I have a Magic Eight Ball that has never lied.  It's a toy, but it makes you focus on your question.  Because of that, and Magic (because it is the Magic Eight Ball!), it never lies. :)

To end it, you don't need to fall into the stereotypes of what "pagan" means.  You choose.  You may come and go as I have (I'm a biologist so I see God in nature),  but you don't have to be the pagan I am.  The Wicca books that got so many of us into paganism don't really have much to do with Wicca.  But they were a starting point and for those of us that are pagans, they got our brain and spiritual juices flowing.

You're on the right road.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2015, 07:09:08 pm »
Quote from: Elyria;169872


But that's it. And at this point, I don't know what else to do. I feel very disconnected and want to get back into it, but I don't know how else to BE a Pagan without meditating, performing spells, or using divination. I try to enjoy being outdoors as much as possible, but it isn't the same. I don't feel as close to my spirituality as I used to, and I just don't know how to get it back...

Any ideas?


The other responses so far seem to go along the lines of "Paganism is lots of things"; my impression, though, is that you're looking for Pagan activities to do. Is that accurate? I know I've gone through periods where most of my religious practice consisted of reading and thinking, and not much doing.

I'd suggest poking around the art and craft boards here to see what kind of religious-themed projects people have made. Or look up some information about folk magic, which tends to be fairly hands-on. There are also threads around on bringing your spiritual practice into the workplace. Or many deities are associated with certain activities; I'm not too familiar with the ones you mention, but taking a class in a spiritually-meaningful skill might be something else to try.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2015, 06:26:02 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;169933
What academics - in which fields - would those be?

Phenomenology of religion; what did you expect — botany?

Quote
And if the distinction is 'not invented', Wicca and pagan Druidry are excluded by definition; all the 'trying to be' in the world doesn't cancel out the 'invented'. The 'primary vs invented' definition you posit falls completely apart.

The point I was trying to make is that the "evolved versus created" definition is inadequate. A fundamental rule of anthropology is that the description must be acceptable to those described. Thus, when some sociologists say communism is "really" a religion, the indignation of the communists is sufficient refutation. In this case, we start with a fairly simple distinction which gives us Hinduism and Shinto on one side, Buddhism and Islam on the other. But we find that that lumps the Neopagans in with the Christians and Muslims, where they feel unhappy — "we're pagans, too", they say. So we amend our definition to read "a naturally evolved religion, or one which attempts to have the characteristics of a naturally evolved religion." There, is that simple enough for you?
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2015, 06:31:17 pm »
Quote from: DavidMcCann;170104
So we amend our definition to read "a naturally evolved religion, or one which attempts to have the characteristics of a naturally evolved religion." There, is that simple enough for you?

 
Still inadequate, and in my opinion utterly pointless. You seem to think that Shinto and Hinduism "evolved" when in fact their modern forms were just as artificially constructed as Christianity and Islam - more so, in the case of Shinto, at least.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2015, 09:49:34 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;170105
Still inadequate, and in my opinion utterly pointless. You seem to think that Shinto and Hinduism "evolved" when in fact their modern forms were just as artificially constructed as Christianity and Islam - more so, in the case of Shinto, at least.
I'm going to politely steer the topic back to the original question. (I'm not saying anything bad was happening or going to happen, I just wanted to add my two shiny pennies.)

I'm having the same issue, Elyria. Sometime in 2014 (my sense of the past 12 months has blurred together horribly) I picked up "A History of the World's Religions" (in the photo) at some Goodwill or another.

But between dealing with my depression/stress in the first half of the year, then moving in July, then more depression/stress from my sucky roomies (excluding boyfriend), my entire spirituality took a backseat, and the damn thing sat on the shelf with my other pagany books that haven't been touched in years other than the move.

Thankfully (my patron) Quan Yin understands and is letting me figure my shit out. In the meantime, I've picked up the book and started reading it. Right now I'm still only reading about aboriginal tribes in Africa and Australia, but it gives me something to focus on spiritually/religiously. While my eyes do sometimes gloss over from the boring (to me) tone of writing, it gets me thinking about what I believe in and how it affects my everyday life.

My point may have already been said, but I'll say it again: pick up a book. Figure out *what* you believe, and go from there. I highly doubt there is a single person on this board who still believes EXACTLY the same things they did when they first started exploring.
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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2015, 01:37:50 am »
Quote from: DavidMcCann;170104
So we amend our definition to read "a naturally evolved religion, or one which attempts to have the characteristics of a naturally evolved religion." There, is that simple enough for you?

 
It is not as insupportably nonsensical as the one that you provided earlier, if that's what you mean by 'simple'.

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2015, 02:14:38 am »
Quote from: Elyria;169872
Hey y'all.

I've been going through kind of a... rebuilding phase, I suppose you could say. My whole life, I've done what was expected of me or did what I thought would please others, and I forgot about myself. So this past year, I've been really learning who I am and taking the time to become the person I never got to be.

Well, my spirituality really took a backseat, and I'm wanting to get it back. However, I'm stuck. I don't really know what to do when it comes to my spirituality. I used to be interested in tarot and magick and meditation and communing with nature. But I've lost interest in all of those things.

Tarot is just a way to predict the future, and in my limited experience, knowing what the future holds is dangerous, so I don't use my cards very much anymore. I like oracle cards, getting guidance to help with your frame of mind. But I don't use them often either. I don't really believe in magick anymore. Actually, "believe" is the wrong word. I believe it works. But it doesn't work for me. I'm sure there could be a number of reasons, including that I don't follow the rules. I don't believe I should have to use certain tools during certain moon phases and say certain words. I do it very free-form, which is probably my downfall. I do "rituals," which is really just me calling the elements, lighting candles, and talking to my deities. The only time I meditate is when I want to speak with Morrigan and Dagda, which happens less than I'd like to admit (and I can't even honestly say if they are "real" encounters or just sheer imagination).

The only thing I have anymore that even remotely says pagan is my jewelry (I have two necklaces, one symbolizing Morrigan and one symbolizing Dagda) and I have a table dedicated to them in my living room. It has candles, symbols, and a box full of nature items (gemstones, rocks, feathers, etc.).

But that's it. And at this point, I don't know what else to do. I feel very disconnected and want to get back into it, but I don't know how else to BE a Pagan without meditating, performing spells, or using divination. I try to enjoy being outdoors as much as possible, but it isn't the same. I don't feel as close to my spirituality as I used to, and I just don't know how to get it back...


Any ideas?


I used to feel like that a lot too. Like "is this all there is?". But I found as stated already, Pagan is a term that is almost useless because of it's broadness. I think of it not as just my observations and deities, but the way I feel connected to the world and how I experience my own reality.

Someone also stated something Carl Jung, I have been reading Man and His Symbols, and it has been really helping me interpret my own dreams. In doing so, I have figured out what I actually desire in life, what I expect from it, if the path in life I am taking is right, etc.

For me, it was not knowing what I wanted out of it, and not feeling content with what I had at the time. But in doing certain practices, like dream analysis (of course, which I in a way, forced myself to do, not out of pleasure) I started to understand myself a lot more and learned more about my role in life.

Anyways, I hope this made sense and helped at all. But trust me, it's definitely not uncommon.

Elyria

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Re: How to BE Pagan
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2015, 08:43:33 am »
Quote
....

 
Thanks everyone for your responses. :) I can't very well reply comment for comment, but I'll try to explain myself best I can. :P

I know that technically pagan is just a huge umbrella term and that there are several didn't paths... But I think I prefer the term "pagan." It gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling that drew me to it in the first place. I know that to some, calling yourself just a Pagan (capital P) is very annoying, so now I call myself and eclectic pagan just to prevent the inevitable "pagan covers everything" conversation.

What do I believe.... I guess that's as good a question as any. When I first started, I did the traditional Mother Earth, Father Sky. Eventually Nyx (greek primordial goddess of night) claimed me. And she was wonderful! I feel that it I had learned all I could from her and it was time to be claimed by other deities. But I still pray to her from time to time. And fortunately she listens, and responds.

Morrigan and Dagda are actually fairly recent additions. I've always been interested in Irish/Celtic myth, but having been taught mostly greek mythology, that's where I started. And trying to tackle the Celtic myths just seemed so difficult. I spent my whole life learning all I know about Greek myth, and I STILL don't know it all. So I thought I'd just stick with what I know. But when I did a meditation and was met by Morrigan and Dagda, I figured it was time to start researching them. I did loads of research online, and I even bought a Celtic book of mythology, which I have yet to read... But I'll get there.

I know Morrigan is said to be particular. You must honor her often or she becomes angry. But I think she understands.. Or at least I hope she does. Maybe she's not even with me anymore, I don't know. But I have a table dedicated to her and Dagda right as you walk in my front door. I light a candle on it from time to time, apologize to them for not doing more. I haven't received much grief for it. But maybe that's because they left me a long time ago... lol

I think my issue is... I tried so hard to be a "traditional pagan" that I kind of lost myself. The whole reason I started into paganism was because of the afterlife and spirit guides and psychic phenomenon. "New Age" stuff. And trying to find my patrons, figuring out the rules of magic, getting reacquainted with tarot, I just lost all of my roots.

I'm a writer. And an idea recently just... popped into my head. It's going to be told from the perspective of a spirit guide. So I've been doing a lot of research for it, trying to figure out what "Summerland" is like, what spirit guides do, how they help us. And it's really pulling me back into my beliefs. It's helping me remember why I came to paganism in the first place.

I think it will still be a slow process, getting back to where I used to be... But it's a start!!


Thanks again everyone. :) Sometimes reaching out to others is the best way to learn about yourself.

Blessings,
Elyria

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