The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

So my question is:

do you think it's possible to be tested in some fashion? It has happened to you? If it has, how does it work?  If it has not, how do you think it might work?

This is a difficult question for me because I don't believe the Gods actually intervene that much in everyday life. I believe they only intervene when it benefits someone close to them (devotee, priest, etc.), or if it's for something absolutely necessary.

But the gods do work in mysterious ways and I do believe that it is possible to be tested in some sort of fashion. To be honest, I'm not sure if Sobek has tested me or not but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't put me up against something I can't beat.

So my question is:

do you think it's possible to be tested in some fashion? It has happened to you? If it has, how does it work?  If it has not, how do you think it might work?

Yes, and yes.

For me, the Morrigan tests 1) my resolve/confidence, and 2) my ability to improvise. She's a goddess of war, sovereignity, and taking action, which lends itself surprisingly well to the competitive nature of theater. However, she is also extremely intelligent and has a way of manipulating people/events to suit her needs.

Testing my resolve/confidence can go one of two ways: Either she forces me into ever more blatant ultimatums, or she lets as much shit as possible get thrown at me to see whether I cave or give up. I cave out of exhaustion a lot, but it's miles ahead of when I gave up or wouldn't try at all.

Testing my ability to improvise tends to overlap with whether I give up or not, but I realized lately that this also tests whether I trust my own decisions. I spent a decade not making decisions because of a huge family upheaval that my mother implicitly blamed me for. And being twelve at the time, I believed her.

I kept believing her for the next ten years because subconsciously, I was never allowed to grow out of that twelve-year-old mindset of "Sure, I'm the scapegoat/victim/black sheep of the family, but it's better than being alone. And she means well, and she just wants what's best for me, and what happened was my fault anyway."

The Morrigan has been telling me that I don't have to put up with it anymore, but it took me five years to fully understand it.

Which was possibly the longest test I've EVER taken, but I definitely did good.

This brings on the interesting question of how we define a 'test'.

I can say that during these years I've worked with Hekate, I had to burn out a LOT of emotional baggage and confront more than few hard truths. As She is 'the One Who Works From Afar' is hard to say whether it was Her doing or if i became more self-aware after getting more in tune with Her energies, or if simply my life was headed that way.

Up to a point, it was also shown to me why it was important for me to learn those lessons - and I was grateful for that, because it gave me a sense of completion I had not before.

I don't know if i would call it a test, but I can remember Her asking me to focus on one task solely -and incidentally around that time everything else in my life seemed to stall in order for me to have the necessary time- and even that has required a lot of adjustements, frustrations, and identity questioning and releasing fears and insecurities.

I would have probably  backed out if She had not been pushing me toward doing something I loved. I won't lie, it still feels like someone is leading you in a wild chase where you don't know what you are chasing until you find it.

But I'm digressing. :ashamed:  

After said testing, would you say your god energies were more 'present' in you?

 
I dunno if this answers your initial questions,but I have to say YES! to your shared Hekate experiences here....
I've recently been told point blank by hekate...."never mind me,go deal with your relation ship,then when you've got that sorted ,you can worry about me"

when I was basically whining at her for not appearing in my dreams etc. when I was trying so hard....lol

and I've recently sort of either been shown or realized a few things about myself,where I reacted like this mentally: yes I guess your right ,I see that as a flaw in me but I'm a stubborn ass and don't want to change it or admit I might be wrong....*childlike arm flail* " but I don't WANNAAAA!"
but I'm coming around to the idea and sort of trying to mend it without having to do a giant sudden 360 life announcement....just trying to sneak it in there. we shall see if that works.
but it really sucks.
I'm going to need to find a new way to deal.
SIGH.

Yes, but I am not sure that every God or Goddess you encounter does it. I think it all depends on them. For example: Artemis is my patroness Goddess. She never tested me. She just declared herself to me and that was it.

That sort of matchs Artemis for me.  She just appeared and said "You are mine?" and its been like that all my life.  I suppose in some ways she test's in that I am never content with what I know of her and always seek out more.  Yet that never seem's to be actively driven by her though I might be wrong there as many times she can be quite subtle in making direct demands upon you.

On the other hand...Kali Ma was difficult. I connected with her at a ritual and my life went up in smoke for about a month. I was strung out and so incredibly HOT. Dead of winter and I had my windows open because I could not cool down. I finally went to my High Priestess and told her what was going on and she said, "Why don't you tell her to take it down a notch?" I did, and it was as though Kali disappeared entirely. I didn't think of her as my patroness at all, but just the fact that she was there one minute and then gone the next told me she thought I wasn't worthy of her energy.

That is definately not the Kali I had the pleasure of working with for some time as her Hollow Bone.  When she had something to say that needed to be passed it was always full on and at her pace.  Back off was not a term or phrase she used or understood and no one was telling her how to act.  Well no one but Hekate / Hecate for me as she was there the first I was approached by Kali and made it known in no uncertain terms that I belong to her and she would shut it down in a heart beat.

Still even with Hekate / Hecate's protection and influence on the situation Kali drew me to some places I'd not care to experience again.  Though I must admit it gave me an enseight into just how bad Hecate / Hekate could be if she got realy angry with me.  Which is also another place i'd care not to go or situation i'd care to experience.

For the record that situation with Kali lasted probably for 6 - 8 months though a few times she took her form of Ma Druga which was not so bad.

Wow, you must have a different Hekate / Hecate than I do.  She'd tell me my relationship with my wife is part of her relationship with me so I can't ignore either of them to focus upon the other.  Sort of implying if I don't have time and energy for her in the worst of times how can I even expect her to stand by me to the best of times.

I think that a deity can have different relationships with different people. There can be different expectations, as well as things that may be acceptable for one devotee, but not another.

Hecate couldn't care less about my relationship with my husband. It has absolutely nothing to do with the work I do for/with Her. In fact, If my brain is cloudy because of some marital issue, She'd rather I get it together and be able to focus on the job at hand before I try to do... whatever.

Certainly, Juno is a different story. She's very interested in those sorts of things.

I think that a deity can have different relationships with different people. There can be different expectations, as well as things that may be acceptable for one devotee, but not another.

Hecate couldn't care less about my relationship with my husband. It has absolutely nothing to do with the work I do for/with Her. In fact, If my brain is cloudy because of some marital issue, She'd rather I get it together and be able to focus on the job at hand before I try to do... whatever.

Certainly, Juno is a different story. She's very interested in those sorts of things.

ah well maybe I should clarify.....she didn't imply I was to IGNORE her completely. BUT,before she's going to allow me a uhm I guess Deeper? connection with her,she wants me to clear up this issue that keeps coming up.
like you have to eat your broccoli before you get to have the chocolate cake.
and this issue might even be just something that needs to be out of the way,to either have me more focused or to make more room for her.
I have some mental and emotional chores to do before she will grant me the things I was wanting from her.