collapse

* Recent Posts

Re: "Christ Is King" by SirPalomides
[Today at 08:57:21 am]


Re: "Christ Is King" by SunflowerP
[Yesterday at 11:06:51 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by SunflowerP
[Yesterday at 10:30:17 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Darkhawk
[Yesterday at 08:31:19 pm]


Re: "Christ Is King" by Darkhawk
[Yesterday at 07:54:40 pm]

Author Topic: Magical envy.  (Read 27749 times)

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Magical envy.
« on: October 26, 2014, 09:47:37 am »
(My beliefs list is almost done, but i think this has to come first)

As you all may know, i am extremely jealous at those who are born with a talent for a magical skill that i have been trying to develop for years now.
Those people who get things down on their first attempt.
And years i still believe that its unfair that despite all my efforts i got nothing while i saw others do things without much effort at all.

But enough of my reasoning!
................................................. ................................................. ............

My question would be:
How do you get over this?

Accept you are less skilled and significant than them?

(For me this is not helping, it only damages my low self esteem when it comes to magic further, making me beyond furious and depressed and making me FEEL dominated by them, and it makes me FEEL like i am somehow created as a lower being)  

Try to find my skills on my own?
(I have some but most seem very dark and filled with negative energy)

Or what?
I tried looking online but could find nothing usefull, and i am certain i am not the only one with this problem so this may help others as well.
:)
« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 09:48:57 am by Thrak »

Queen of Wands

  • Journeyman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2012
  • Posts: 233
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
    • http://theatreartistarcana.blogspot.com/
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2014, 10:51:52 am »
Quote from: Thrak;163449
(My beliefs list is almost done, but i think this has to come first)

As you all may know, i am extremely jealous at those who are born with a talent for a magical skill that i have been trying to develop for years now.
Those people who get things down on their first attempt.
And years i still believe that its unfair that despite all my efforts i got nothing while i saw others do things without much effort at all.

But enough of my reasoning!
................................................. ................................................. ............

My question would be:
How do you get over this?



First, good thread. You have a question and we are actively looking for a solution!

Quote from: Thrak;163449


Accept you are less skilled and significant than them?

(For me this is not helping, it only damages my low self esteem when it comes to magic further, making me beyond furious and depressed and making me FEEL dominated by them, and it makes me FEEL like i am somehow created as a lower being)  



Okay. I think it is not helping because the question isn't helpful :) Less skilled and (less) significant? I am of the belief that everyone is equally skilled in different was and of equal significant should they chose to be significant. But, as you say, you feel your skills lie in dark, negative energy ways. We'll get to that.

For now, you are trying to accept why you struggle with magical skills you have worked hard to achieve. Let us ask a better question:

What are 'they' doing to accomplish this goal that I am not doing? What can I do to help myself accomplish these goals?

It seems to me that the things we want most, are the things we must work for the hardest. I also notice that is the people who work the hardest who seem to have it the easiest.
 -true, there is always beginner's luck, and natural talent. But nobody is talented at everything...or always a beginner.
 - and perhaps, 'they' struggle with skills that you have perfected years ago! Jealously tends to blind us to everything but what we want ;)

Quote

Try to find my skills on my own?
(I have some but most seem very dark and filled with negative energy)


This has me curious, I admit. Very dark and filled with negative energy, I understand that you might not want to meddle with that.

I would suggest the following:

1. Consider exploring the possibilities of that dark and negative energy. You don't have to do anything with, but maybe learn more about it.
2. Explore the source of this dark and negative energy. Where did it come from and why is it negative? :confused: If you are the source, then I think there is the probability that the energy could be changed - and that might help you solve your first question.
3. You said "most" are dark and negative. Also try focus on the not-most energy, what isn't dark or negative.

Quote

Or what?
I tried looking online but could find nothing usefull, and i am certain i am not the only one with this problem so this may help others as well.
:)

 
You are right - there are probably a lot of people out there who feel the same way. I spent most of my life being jealous of this person or that person. It wasn't until my teacher met me and sent me on my way down my spiritual path that I was able to be myself, a not-jealous self.

Or what? Read a book. Build a birdhouse. Pray to the deity of your choice. Go for a walk - or a run! Talk to people, or just sit in the park and people watch. :)

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2014, 11:21:43 am »
Quote from: Queen of Wands;163451
First, good thread. You have a question and we are actively looking for a solution!



Okay. I think it is not helping because the question isn't helpful :) Less skilled and (less) significant? I am of the belief that everyone is equally skilled in different was and of equal significant should they chose to be significant. But, as you say, you feel your skills lie in dark, negative energy ways. We'll get to that.

For now, you are trying to accept why you struggle with magical skills you have worked hard to achieve. Let us ask a better question:

What are 'they' doing to accomplish this goal that I am not doing? What can I do to help myself accomplish these goals?

It seems to me that the things we want most, are the things we must work for the hardest. I also notice that is the people who work the hardest who seem to have it the easiest.
 -true, there is always beginner's luck, and natural talent. But nobody is talented at everything...or always a beginner.
 - and perhaps, 'they' struggle with skills that you have perfected years ago! Jealously tends to blind us to everything but what we want ;)



This has me curious, I admit. Very dark and filled with negative energy, I understand that you might not want to meddle with that.

I would suggest the following:

1. Consider exploring the possibilities of that dark and negative energy. You don't have to do anything with, but maybe learn more about it.
2. Explore the source of this dark and negative energy. Where did it come from and why is it negative? :confused: If you are the source, then I think there is the probability that the energy could be changed - and that might help you solve your first question.
3. You said "most" are dark and negative. Also try focus on the not-most energy, what isn't dark or negative.


 
You are right - there are probably a lot of people out there who feel the same way. I spent most of my life being jealous of this person or that person. It wasn't until my teacher met me and sent me on my way down my spiritual path that I was able to be myself, a not-jealous self.

Or what? Read a book. Build a birdhouse. Pray to the deity of your choice. Go for a walk - or a run! Talk to people, or just sit in the park and people watch. :)

No but after years of effort i believe i deserve those abileties more than those who did not even have to lift a finger to get them.
Whats makes them so special to earn these "gifts"?
Why are they so much better than me? :mad:


(And it made my depresion much worse.
For years i was degraded  as being a lesser being.
For being mentaly handinaped.
For being a male.
For beingt ''spiritualy weak.
And for not being a "real man"/jock )

And with negative energy i mean that i still feel the desire for power.
Not over other people but over the spirit world.
And i prayed to various spirits/deities for years and i only got nightmares.


No offense but on this subject i am uttterly lost. :ashamed:

Kylara

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Feb 2012
  • Posts: 1433
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 319
    • View Profile
    • https://www.patreon.com/kyndryana
  • Religion: Norse Fusion Witchcraft
  • Preferred Pronouns: she/her/hers
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2014, 11:26:15 am »
Quote from: Thrak;163449
(My beliefs list is almost done, but i think this has to come first)

As you all may know, i am extremely jealous at those who are born with a talent for a magical skill that i have been trying to develop for years now.
Those people who get things down on their first attempt.
And years i still believe that its unfair that despite all my efforts i got nothing while i saw others do things without much effort at all.

But enough of my reasoning!
................................................. ................................................. ............

My question would be:
How do you get over this?

Accept you are less skilled and significant than them?

(For me this is not helping, it only damages my low self esteem when it comes to magic further, making me beyond furious and depressed and making me FEEL dominated by them, and it makes me FEEL like i am somehow created as a lower being)  

Try to find my skills on my own?
(I have some but most seem very dark and filled with negative energy)

Or what?
I tried looking online but could find nothing usefull, and i am certain i am not the only one with this problem so this may help others as well.
:)

 
I don't think picking things up easily or being a 'natural' is always something to envy.  I think there is a tendency, when things come to easily, to take them for granted.  People who have natural talent may not feel the same need to practice and refine as someone who has had to struggle for every improvement they have.  I think it is through that struggle that we grow, and that our failures not only build up our strength and reserve, but teach us a lot as well.  I know that there are a lot of things I wouldn't understand nearly as well if I hadn't failed a ton of times before getting it right.

I definitely think that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and most of us don't highlight our weaknesses...so in all likelihood, the person who seems so naturally skilled has other things they struggle with, perhaps even things that you find easy.  That doesn't always make it easier to deal with emotionally, especially when you deeply want to be able to do something, feel like you are working so very hard and not moving forward, and then someone comes in and just tosses it around like it's nothing.  I also think that some people who are naturally skilled can slip into arrogance and belittling those who aren't as skilled as they are, and I find I just try to avoid those people...they aren't going to be helpful anyways.

As for having a tendency towards darker skills, I don't see this always as a bad thing.  I tend to be drawn to, and have an affinity for, darker things myself.  There is a stereotype that makes all things dark out as evil or undesirable, but I don't think that is true.  There is both light and dark in nature, and part of my personal path is finding the balance inside, which means working with both sides.  While I do have to work harder to build up some skills that people might associate with the light, I also have to work to not be overwhelmed by other things (the darker aspects) because they are so close to me.
Check out my Patreon for more writing and other goodies!

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2014, 11:30:44 am »
Quote from: Kylara;163453
I don't think picking things up easily or being a 'natural' is always something to envy.  I think there is a tendency, when things come to easily, to take them for granted.  People who have natural talent may not feel the same need to practice and refine as someone who has had to struggle for every improvement they have.  I think it is through that struggle that we grow, and that our failures not only build up our strength and reserve, but teach us a lot as well.  I know that there are a lot of things I wouldn't understand nearly as well if I hadn't failed a ton of times before getting it right.

I definitely think that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and most of us don't highlight our weaknesses...so in all likelihood, the person who seems so naturally skilled has other things they struggle with, perhaps even things that you find easy.  That doesn't always make it easier to deal with emotionally, especially when you deeply want to be able to do something, feel like you are working so very hard and not moving forward, and then someone comes in and just tosses it around like it's nothing.  I also think that some people who are naturally skilled can slip into arrogance and belittling those who aren't as skilled as they are, and I find I just try to avoid those people...they aren't going to be helpful anyways.

As for having a tendency towards darker skills, I don't see this always as a bad thing.  I tend to be drawn to, and have an affinity for, darker things myself.  There is a stereotype that makes all things dark out as evil or undesirable, but I don't think that is true.  There is both light and dark in nature, and part of my personal path is finding the balance inside, which means working with both sides.  While I do have to work harder to build up some skills that people might associate with the light, I also have to work to not be overwhelmed by other things (the darker aspects) because they are so close to me.

Iam very sorry but this only makes me feel more weak.... :ashamed:

Sarah

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 827
  • Total likes: 4
    • View Profile
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2014, 11:42:34 am »
Quote from: Thrak;163454
Iam very sorry but this only makes me feel more weak.... :ashamed:

 
Can you tell us why?
Knowing when to use a shovel is what being a witch is all about. Nanny Ogg, Witches Abroad

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2014, 11:48:51 am »
Quote from: Jake_;163456
Can you tell us why?

 
Well, i have some talents, but i never seem to get the things i really want in life.
And worse is that some blame ME for not trying hard enough.
Becuase its "up to the man to make the first move" :mad:

And when it comes to spirituality and magic i was born with no skill other than the ability to see the stuff, often scaring me. :ashamed:
And so when i was 13, trying to magic, and i saw that even young girls (9/10) could do things i had been trying to do for 2 years and could not i imploded.
So when somebody tells me to except the way things are i feel a pain in my chest.

Valeria Crowe

  • Master Member
  • ******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 340
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
    • http://thesallowbeldam.tumblr.com/
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2014, 12:37:23 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;163457
Well, i have some talents, but i never seem to get the things i really want in life.
And worse is that some blame ME for not trying hard enough.
Becuase its "up to the man to make the first move" :mad:


 
Are these energy work problems, or relationship problems.
"This is a sorrow-spider. Which end do you hold it by? TRICK QUESTION!"

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2014, 12:42:21 pm »
Quote from: Cuthwin Crowe;163458
Are these energy work problems, or relationship problems.
Energy work problems.
Iam just saying that nothing i was born with compensates for my lack og magical skill.
« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 12:43:36 pm by Thrak »

Queen of Wands

  • Journeyman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2012
  • Posts: 233
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
    • http://theatreartistarcana.blogspot.com/
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2014, 01:12:27 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;163452
No but after years of effort i believe i deserve those abileties

Effort and deserve - two words that should never be in the same sentence.

Quote
Whats makes them so special to earn these "gifts"?
Why are they so much better than me? :mad:


As I already said, they are special. YOU are special. These are gifts that have been discovered and developed. Jealousy does not allow for discovery or development, only anger and envy.


Quote

(And it made my depresion much worse.
For years i was degraded  as being a lesser being.
For being mentaly handinaped.
For being a male.
For beingt ''spiritualy weak.
And for not being a "real man"/jock )

:stop: Hold up here. If you are feeling degraded, I think that you are agreeing with this, or else you wouldn't feel like a lesser being.

Instead of adding to the list of negative attributes, start a new list: What is good about being male? What makes a 'real man'? How do you view the world? If you are spiritually weak, then start with what you do know and then write down what you want to know...and how you are going to find that out.

I could give you a huge, long, pages long list of what makes a real man, the value of being masculine and what it really means - I could give you my life story, of when I have been spiritually weak, times when I was degraded but that's not going to help you.

This is a list you need to make on your own, if you want it to be worth something.

Quote

And with negative energy i mean that i still feel the desire for power.
Not over other people but over the spirit world.
And i prayed to various spirits/deities for years and i only got nightmares.


Power in itself is not a bad thing. What you do with the power, is what makes it good or bad.

But before you can have power over the spirit world, or even other people, you need to find the power over YOURSELF.

Quote

No offense but on this subject i am uttterly lost. :ashamed:


No offense and NO shame. You know the best thing about being lost? You can go in any direction you want. :D:
« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 01:14:19 pm by Queen of Wands »

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2014, 01:18:16 pm »
Quote from: Queen of Wands;163469
Effort and deserve - two words that should never be in the same sentence.



As I already said, they are special. YOU are special. These are gifts that have been discovered and developed. Jealousy does not allow for discovery or development, only anger and envy.



:stop: Hold up here. If you are feeling degraded, I think that you are agreeing with this, or else you wouldn't feel like a lesser being.

Instead of adding to the list of negative attributes, start a new list: What is good about being male? What makes a 'real man'? How do you view the world? If you are spiritually weak, then start with what you do know and then write down what you want to know...and how you are going to find that out.

I could give you a huge, long, pages long list of what makes a real man, the value of being masculine and what it really means - I could give you my life story, of when I have been spiritually weak, times when I was degraded but that's not going to help you.

This is a list you need to make on your own, if you want it to be worth something.



Power in itself is not a bad thing. What you do with the power, is what makes it good or bad.

But before you can have power over the spirit world, or even other people, you need to find the power over YOURSELF.



No offense and NO shame. You know the best thing about being lost? You can go in any direction you want. :D:

''Effort and deserve - two words that should never be in the same sentence''
Why not? Becuase i am not a "chosen one" by "mother earth"?

''As I already said, they are special. YOU are special. These are gifts that have been discovered and developed. Jealousy does not allow for discovery or development, only anger and envy''
But how do i get rid of these feelings?
I still feel like i have been wronged by who, or whatever made me.
Like iam some last minute project.

Everything good i have i got by myself.
Not thanks to a deity, or mother earth, or any creator.
It feels like they left me in the dirt and if thats so i HATE them. :mad:
« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 01:18:44 pm by Thrak »

Queen of Wands

  • Journeyman
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2012
  • Posts: 233
  • Total likes: 0
    • View Profile
    • http://theatreartistarcana.blogspot.com/
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2014, 01:26:39 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;163470
''Effort and deserve - two words that should never be in the same sentence''
Why not? Becuase i am not a "chosen one" by "mother earth"?



Calm down. I do not believe in chosen ones or in a mother earth. I do believe, however, that deserve means 'to receive unexpectedly, unasked for, as either reward or punishment for one's self'. Like the fairytales, where the good person who helps the old is given a reward while the wicked step-sibling is punished.

Effort, however, is worked for. It is attempted, it is a struggle. Hard work, knowing that there may never be a reward or an end.


Quote

But how do i get rid of these feelings?
I still feel like i have been wronged by who, or whatever made me.
Like iam some last minute project.

An excellent question. There are many ways to allow wronged feelings to go. I personally use art, writing, therapy, tai chi and dance. I read, I journal. All of these have helped me move on to more productive and healthy feelings.

What worked for me may not work for you. But finding what DOES work for you is a great thing to be working on!


Quote

Everything good i have i got by myself.
Not thanks to a deity, or mother earth, or any creator.
It feels like they left me in the dirt and if thats so i HATE them. :mad:

Nobody asked you to believe in a deity, mother earth, or in any creator. If you don't believe in them, then there was nobody to leave you in the dirt or to hate.

Of course, if it's easier to have something to hate, then by all means, hate away.

Emma Eldritch

  • Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2012
  • Posts: 1265
  • Country: 00
  • Total likes: 68
    • View Profile
    • https://rocknrollwitch.blogspot.ca/
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2014, 01:41:37 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;163449

My question would be:
How do you get over this?

Accept you are less skilled and significant than them?

(For me this is not helping, it only damages my low self esteem when it comes to magic further, making me beyond furious and depressed and making me FEEL dominated by them, and it makes me FEEL like i am somehow created as a lower being)  

Try to find my skills on my own?
(I have some but most seem very dark and filled with negative energy)

Or what?
I tried looking online but could find nothing usefull, and i am certain i am not the only one with this problem so this may help others as well.
:)

 
To answer this question, I'm first going to make a little comparison.

When I was a little girl, I was good at drawing. It was just a skill I had that others did not. And when you're nine or ten, this seems pretty special.

I'm an adult now, and I work in the animation industry. This means I work with some of the most incredible artists around. Compared to some of them, my art is objectively crap. Some of them undoubtedly have more natural talent but the real difference - as an adult - is that those people work their asses off. They practice all the time.

Natural talent is wonderful, but depending on the skill set you want, it may not matter as much as what you learn to do through practice. My sister loves music, but she's never been a great singer. So she started taking classes, and her singing has improved. She's never going to achieve her dream of sounding like Koko Taylor, but she's gotten good enough to preform. Is it a Hollywood ending? No. But she improved her skill set to the point that it is useful and fulfilling.

So, to answer your questions more directly: yes, you may have to accept that your natural skills are not at the same starting point as other people's. That does NOT mean you are less significant. It means you're starting at a different point. That's all. You can either whine about it being unfair, or get back to work. (Or whine for a little bit, but then knock it off. That's the route I choose most often.)

You say you do have skills, but they are 'dark' and 'negative.' That isn't automatically bad. A lot of us here on the cauldron work with darker energies and the last time I checked we were all still relatively sane and lovely people. Depending on your moral framework, 'negative' skills can be very useful.

Caleb Oak

  • Sr. Master Member
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2014
  • Posts: 978
  • Country: nl
  • Total likes: 14
    • View Profile
  • Preferred Pronouns: Male
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2014, 02:00:04 pm »
Quote from: Queen of Wands;163471
Calm down. I do not believe in chosen ones or in a mother earth. I do believe, however, that deserve means 'to receive unexpectedly, unasked for, as either reward or punishment for one's self'. Like the fairytales, where the good person who helps the old is given a reward while the wicked step-sibling is punished.

Effort, however, is worked for. It is attempted, it is a struggle. Hard work, knowing that there may never be a reward or an end.



An excellent question. There are many ways to allow wronged feelings to go. I personally use art, writing, therapy, tai chi and dance. I read, I journal. All of these have helped me move on to more productive and healthy feelings.

What worked for me may not work for you. But finding what DOES work for you is a great thing to be working on!



Nobody asked you to believe in a deity, mother earth, or in any creator. If you don't believe in them, then there was nobody to leave you in the dirt or to hate.

Of course, if it's easier to have something to hate, then by all means, hate away.

 So i a bad person for being born that way.... You lost me.......
Punishment for what?

And what makes these "gifted ones"?

Jenett

  • Senior Staff
  • *
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Location: Boston, MA
  • Posts: 3743
  • Country: us
  • Total likes: 1235
    • View Profile
    • Seeking: First steps on a path
  • Religion: Initiatory religious witchcraft
  • Preferred Pronouns: she/her
Re: Magical envy.
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2014, 02:01:31 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;163449

How do you get over this?

Accept you are less skilled and significant than them?


I'm less skilled than a lot of people at a lot of things. It's my choice about what I do about that. (I am never going to be an engineer or a doctor or an astronaut or a scuba diver: I can spend my life being annoyed at those things, or I can spend my time being a really awesome librarian, which is the thing I want to do.)

So, what do you want to do? What do you want your life to look like? What skills do you need to get you there?

When I've hit places in my life where I'm frustrated, I start by looking at what I want. What things do I enjoy doing? What things do I not enjoy doing? What things do I want to avoid? What needs to change in my life to have more of the things I want?

There's three basic steps here

1) Figure out what I am not happy with. (And what I am happy with.)

2) Figure out what kinds of things might improve that. (My experience is that it's usually going to be a bunch of things, and some of them will be easier to change than others or be faster to change than others.)

3) Work on building the skills or experiences that help me get closer to that goal.

These might be magical skills, but more often it's a combination of things - for example, I might want to do magical work to help me find a job that will treat me well, but I also need to spend time polishing my resume and interview skills, applying to jobs, etc.

(I don't generally build magical skills just to have them: the ones I have are things I've learned either as part of my tradition's training or because I found them useful for something in the past. Same way that I think that knowing Spanish would be interesting and quite likely useful in some ways to me, but it's never been a priority in the past so I haven't learned it so far.)

In the past, this has meant going back to school for some skills (and for a degree that indicates to other people I have them.) It's meant putting time and energy into specific magical skills but with an idea of *why* I want those skills and what it'll mean I can do when I've learned them. It's meant putting time and energy into developing a good sense of self-awareness, so I can work through this whole process on my own with less frustration. All sorts of things.

4) Repeat as needed.

So, how do I sort out what I want?

I usually try multiple methods, because it gets me better results.

I may talk to friends who know me well. I may talk to people who know me less well but still have ideas (like on a forum, or in chat, or something like that.) I might use divination or meditation to give me some ideas.

I might pay attention to the things I'm drawn to over a period of time - what things do I want to watch, read, listen to, or do? (I've often found that when I'm working on something, I'll really want to read certain kinds of stories or situations, for example, because my brain is trying to work something out in the background.)

I might journal every day for a couple of weeks (I do it every few days otherwise, these days) with some specific questions for myself about what I felt about specific topics. For example, if I'm wanting to make changes in my life about dealing with practical issues, i might have questions about how those are going. I usually do observation without trying to change things, first.

Once I start looking at specific changes I want to make, I might start looking for people who've done that kind of thing before (and maybe can help me learn more efficiently or effectively or avoid problems.)

Self-care
Learning and self-examination can be a stressful thing. It's hard to take a really good look at ourselves, and admit that we can't do it all (because no one can).

Taking care of myself is important - I always have some nice bath things at home, because that's a reliable thing I do for self care. I knit partly because I find it reassuring, and on days when I feel like I'm not making progress anywhere else, I can see that I've made something physical and beautiful. If I know I'm going to be doing a lot of internal work, I may make sure there's food in the house that I don't need to think about cooking as much, so that I can spend more time on other things. I have a cat partly because having a cat is a very comforting thing (and because taking care of her reminds me to take care of myself.)
 
The specific things you pick are going to be different, I'm sure, but taking care of yourself helps support your learning in all sorts of ways (both in practical terms and psychologically) We learn new things best when our basic needs are being taken care of.
Seek Knowledge, Find Wisdom: Research help on esoteric and eclectic topics (consulting and other services)

Seeking: first steps on a Pagan path (advice for seekers and people new to Paganism)

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
0 Replies
4246 Views
Last post July 06, 2011, 02:24:50 pm
by RandallS
7 Replies
2514 Views
Last post March 12, 2013, 06:05:39 pm
by drekfletch
36 Replies
14806 Views
Last post April 25, 2013, 05:55:47 am
by Nerys53
4 Replies
1741 Views
Last post April 27, 2012, 01:45:41 pm
by Vale
24 Replies
5224 Views
Last post May 15, 2012, 11:55:11 pm
by SunflowerP

Beginner Area

Warning: You are currently in a Beginner Friendly area of the message board.

* Who's Online

  • Dot Guests: 239
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 0

There aren't any users online.

* Please Donate!

The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.

* Shop & Support TC

The links below are affiliate links. When you click on one of these links you will go to the listed shopping site with The Cauldron's affiliate code. Any purchases you make during your visit will earn TC a tiny percentage of your purchase price at no extra cost to you.

* In Memoriam

Chavi (2006)
Elspeth (2010)
Marilyn (2013)

* Cauldron Staff

Host:
Sunflower

Message Board Staff
Board Coordinator:
Darkhawk

Assistant Board Coordinator:
Aster Breo

Senior Staff:
Aisling, Allaya, Jenett, Sefiru

Staff:
Ashmire, EclecticWheel, HarpingHawke, Kylara, PerditaPickle, rocquelaire

Discord Chat Staff
Chat Coordinator:
Morag

'Up All Night' Coordinator:
Altair

Cauldron Council:
Bob, Catja, Chatelaine, Emma-Eldritch, Fausta, Jubes, Kelly, LyricFox, Phouka, Sperran, Star, Steve, Tana

Site Administrator:
Randall

SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal