The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Hi everyone.

I'm a 17 year old girl living in Georgia, USA. I was born into a Christian family. I went to private Christian schools when I was younger, went to Church and Sunday School. But I never really felt any sort of connection to the faith. It was more of a boring chore I had to do because it was expected of me. The few times I tried to pray when I was very young left me feeling silly, alone and disappointed. As I got older, I became interested in some Pagan beliefs, mainly Wicca. I'd always been very interested in magic and mythology, and felt connected to the world around me, but often dismissed my interest as me fangirling out about all the fantasy books I read. After a while, I stopped attending Church with my family (not that they went very often) and went through a bitter Atheist phase. I felt a kind of disgust for Christianity as a whole, but I've gotten over it in the past few years.

Last year my sister piqued my interest in magic again, and this time I didn't dismiss my feelings and thoughts on it. (I really moved away from Wicca towards a more practical Traditional craft, but I still read a lot about Wicca.) I set up a basic altar, read a bit on magic and used a few magical practices when the need arose, including testing the waters with Tarot. I wasn't doing any sort of ritual or concrete spell, and I wasn't worshiping any deities. That's changed over the past week or two. I actually can't really remember what sparked my interest again. I think it may have, ironically, been my friend who is very Christian. I ask her about her beliefs often, since I've never had a friend who is so very conservative and religious, that I still want to be around. She isn't oppressive by any means, but I doubt she would approve of my Pagan activities as of late. Anyway, back on track. Over the last few days I've been reading and searching for reliable information on Traditional Witchcraft and American practices. Before, I was unsure of how to begin and wary of online sources, and that's really what kept me from delving into and exploring this more.

I finally feel like all the little beliefs and instincts I had about the way the world works are lining up and fitting together. It's almost like a sort of high, feeling connected to the world this way - like I'm not alone. I'm quickly developing a sense of reverence for the natural world (more so than before) and am a lot more excited about just day to day life. It's as if something missing slid into place, and I wasn't expecting this at all.

Now I want to learn as much as I can and practice, practice, practice. I'm quite excited for the Fall Equinox this upcoming Sunday. I think it will be a good time to really mark the beginning of my journey to becoming a full-blown witch with a small self-initiation ritual. Just something simple to let the gods know I'm dedicated to learning what's in store for me, even if I can't entirely see where this road will lead me.

I know I have family connections to Denmark and Ireland (I've actually got my Grandmother's Irish maiden name as my middle name), and I think somewhere in Wales too; so I'm going to study the traditional pagan beliefs from those areas before Christianity and Catholicism spread throughout Europe. A lot of my ancestors lived in Virginia in the 1800s, so I want to see where that leads. If possible, I want to look into the heritage on my Father's side too, but I have better access to my Mom's side of the family.

That was really long, haha. And probably a lot of info, but I've really wanted to get that all out for a while. I hope there's another person who can maybe relate. I am really very interested in learning alongside someone and sharing experiences.