Author Topic: Hello everyone. (Read 973 times)

Iris Melody · « **on:** September 16, 2014, 04:28:06 am »

Hi, I'm Iris. Not my real name but my most commonly used online nickname. I initially chose it in my teenage "goth" and spooky years because the black iris was the symbol of the vampire in a silly teenage series I read and loved. I held onto it through adulthood because it just kind of stuck with the friends I've remained close to. Plus it's a pretty name and a beautiful flower. I chose Melody as my last name because I love music and was an excellent musician in high school and probably should have chosen music as my major in college. I would if I had the ability to compose my own music but alas, I do not.

Anyway, a bit about what I am now and what I actually do...I am an English major, concentrating in writing. I am a published poet and fiction writer (just the college literary journal, but hey, it's something!) and am looking to also publish essays and am working on my first novel. Publishing the novel through an actual publisher is a pipe dream but I can always self-publish under a pseudonym as I work on my next one. I'm a non-traditional student as I am currently 31 and married with a little girl. A cat and a cockatiel are also in my family. My plan after graduation is to get an MFA in poetry and continue pursuing publishing my work.

Apart from my family, friends, music, and writing I also love reading, vegetarian cooking, tabletop gaming, perfumes (I love Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab), fun clothes (while I grew out of my spookiness I still dress in an indie-grunge-boho style as I never grew out of dressing fun), and cats of all sizes.

So...what brought me here is an essay I just wrote for a writing process class. We had to write a creative nonfiction essay. I wrote about petting a full-grown lioness (an exotic "pet" of a friend of a friend) at age eighteen and how I felt a connection to Bast through the experience. At the time my life was miserable and that summer especially was full of bad experiences. I lost faith in my Southern Baptist upbringing and looked into pagan faiths and prayed to whatever god or goddess would hear me. It touched me...that so many humans harmed me that summer, including humans who I thought cared about me. Yet a lion, who by her nature and the carelessness of her handlers could have eaten my face off, chose to show me affection. I feel Bast may have answered my prayers.

Since then I have been through a failed marriage and another attempt to "be a good Christian." I fell away from Christianity after leaving my abusive ex when Christians began telling me I was sinning in leaving a man who physically, emotionally, and mentally abused me. This was also fueled by the Christians who told me my bipolar disorder I sought treatment for after the divorce was another sign of a lack of faith. I have since remarried and had my daughter with my current husband. Throughout this marriage my faith has been in a sort of limbo.

Since writing this essay though I have started studying to see what I truly believe, aside that I believe in multiple gods and pantheons and that Bast may very well have answered a troubled, eighteen-year-old girl begging for spiritual comfort. I have a long reading list I wish to read through to get my head on straight, and so far have read some of Thich Nhat Hanh's work on mindfulness and am currently reading a memoir about a woman's journey from her Southern Baptist faith to embracing a Goddess-based faith. Books on witchcraft, occult practices, meditation, various Eastern and Western philosophies, Egyptian religion and culture, Goddess spirituality, and Earth-based spirituality are also on the list. I am also reading a lot online while keeping an open mind and trying to discern what is well-founded and what is "fluff." I am starting a journal for my journey and also learning tarot and starting a journal for that too.

I am also concerned about where my mental illness fits in. My doctor would scoff at the idea of Bast answering my prayers and say it's a delusion of grandeur. I don't think so. I think this is real. I am wanting to try and connect with Bast, thank her, and see what I can do for her and if she wants me for a devotee.

I plan to lurk here for the most part and learn from others' experiences. I may eventually ask questions or get involved in discussions if I have something valuable to add.

Ok, that's enough. Sorry this is so long.

Nice to meet you all.

Voren · « **Reply #1 on:** September 16, 2014, 12:13:54 pm »

Quote from: Iris Melody;159100

Hi, I'm Iris. Not my real name but my most commonly used online nickname. I initially chose it in my teenage "goth" and spooky years because the black iris was the symbol of the vampire in a silly teenage series I read and loved. I held onto it through adulthood because it just kind of stuck with the friends I've remained close to. Plus it's a pretty name and a beautiful flower. I chose Melody as my last name because I love music and was an excellent musician in high school and probably should have chosen music as my major in college. I would if I had the ability to compose my own music but alas, I do not.

Anyway, a bit about what I am now and what I actually do...I am an English major, concentrating in writing. I am a published poet and fiction writer (just the college literary journal, but hey, it's something!) and am looking to also publish essays and am working on my first novel. Publishing the novel through an actual publisher is a pipe dream but I can always self-publish under a pseudonym as I work on my next one. I'm a non-traditional student as I am currently 31 and married with a little girl. A cat and a cockatiel are also in my family. My plan after graduation is to get an MFA in poetry and continue pursuing publishing my work.

Apart from my family, friends, music, and writing I also love reading, vegetarian cooking, tabletop gaming, perfumes (I love Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab), fun clothes (while I grew out of my spookiness I still dress in an indie-grunge-boho style as I never grew out of dressing fun), and cats of all sizes.

So...what brought me here is an essay I just wrote for a writing process class. We had to write a creative nonfiction essay. I wrote about petting a full-grown lioness (an exotic "pet" of a friend of a friend) at age eighteen and how I felt a connection to Bast through the experience. At the time my life was miserable and that summer especially was full of bad experiences. I lost faith in my Southern Baptist upbringing and looked into pagan faiths and prayed to whatever god or goddess would hear me. It touched me...that so many humans harmed me that summer, including humans who I thought cared about me. Yet a lion, who by her nature and the carelessness of her handlers could have eaten my face off, chose to show me affection. I feel Bast may have answered my prayers.

Since then I have been through a failed marriage and another attempt to "be a good Christian." I fell away from Christianity after leaving my abusive ex when Christians began telling me I was sinning in leaving a man who physically, emotionally, and mentally abused me. This was also fueled by the Christians who told me my bipolar disorder I sought treatment for after the divorce was another sign of a lack of faith. I have since remarried and had my daughter with my current husband. Throughout this marriage my faith has been in a sort of limbo.

Since writing this essay though I have started studying to see what I truly believe, aside that I believe in multiple gods and pantheons and that Bast may very well have answered a troubled, eighteen-year-old girl begging for spiritual comfort. I have a long reading list I wish to read through to get my head on straight, and so far have read some of Thich Nhat Hanh's work on mindfulness and am currently reading a memoir about a woman's journey from her Southern Baptist faith to embracing a Goddess-based faith. Books on witchcraft, occult practices, meditation, various Eastern and Western philosophies, Egyptian religion and culture, Goddess spirituality, and Earth-based spirituality are also on the list. I am also reading a lot online while keeping an open mind and trying to discern what is well-founded and what is "fluff." I am starting a journal for my journey and also learning tarot and starting a journal for that too.

I am also concerned about where my mental illness fits in. My doctor would scoff at the idea of Bast answering my prayers and say it's a delusion of grandeur. I don't think so. I think this is real. I am wanting to try and connect with Bast, thank her, and see what I can do for her and if she wants me for a devotee.

I plan to lurk here for the most part and learn from others' experiences. I may eventually ask questions or get involved in discussions if I have something valuable to add.

Ok, that's enough. Sorry this is so long.

Nice to meet you all.

Greetings and welcome, dear.