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Author Topic: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?  (Read 9350 times)

Alasse

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What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« on: August 25, 2014, 02:26:20 am »
Well I am new to this and I will just wing it. I was raised Christian by my ex stepmom (no choice) my dad was non religious. Anyways when I moved in with my real mom when I was about 14 I was introduced to Wiccan and Shamans and and a mix of the "dark arts" from my moms bf's sister and my moms bf.

Well fast forward when I was 18-22 I was attending a Christian church at the request of my mom because of my grandma rather then fight about it I just gave in. Well when I was 22 I had just moved in with a bf (and he told me that he had been born with horns, tail and wings and he has the scars in those areas and metal in his head even his adopted mother who got him when he was a teen viewed his medical record and showed me and I guess his mother slept with what she thought was her husband and turned out to be a demon) and the church condemned me because of it and thus banned me for life from said church and I told my mom what happened she was shocked.

Anyways my bf at the time was what he called an ex-satanist rather he truly was I have no clue, but some of what he did and stuff made me wonder. One night we got into a huge arugment over something and he started saying the name Nathiesis over and over and over again then he laughed like crazily kinda spooked me. After that he started seeing blood on the walls, hearing things moving around, hearing growls and such and one night he literally said "I am not afraid of no demons they are ignorant" and this well tall figure with red eyes literally threw him backwards and looked at me and just waved. While I have not seen a demon since I was 5 that one reminded me of the one I seen when I was 5 but just older.

After that I started to become interested in the occult and such now I do not believe that demons are pure evil. But I did notice that the supernatural stuff that happened to us during my time with him (2 1/2 years) was all directed towards him I had maybe 3 paranormal things happen to me but the majority was done to him and a lot felt like it was demonic. Anyways about a month before I left him he got mad at me because I told him something his mom had said and he literally choked me and at that point I was scared of him.

Then we talked and about 2-3 weeks before I officially left him he went upstairs to our old room and was talking to someone or rather something and they were talking in this old language I can't recall what it was as I have never heard it before. Anyways he was up there for an our and I heard what sounded like him and a whole pack of people talking to him.

When he came down he was different like I could tell, but I was laying on the bed and he came over and laid his hands on the top of my head and started chanting in the same language he used to talk to those beings. And I literally seen an orange light (as our lights were off) I even closed my eyes and I still seen the light after he quit chanting the light went away and to this day I do not know what he did and that is what has me wondering what was that light and such?

Also sorry the post is so long but thought it would be best to give my background and his before someone could fully give me an answer. But any answers are greatly appreciated!
« Last Edit: August 25, 2014, 07:45:09 am by RandallS »
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Faemon

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2014, 03:27:13 am »
Quote from: Alasse;157027
about a month before I left him he got mad at me because I told him something his mom had said and he literally choked me and at that point I was scared of him

 
Good that you left him, then. Whatever demonic otherkin and organized occult syndicates or octarine aura issues he has is all his problem now. I'd quit wondering, since it's not your fault, not your problem, and not your business anymore--you've just left an abusive relationship. I'd advise you to treasure this opportunity and just work on your own life now.
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Alasse

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2014, 09:25:20 am »
Quote from: Faemon;157028
Good that you left him, then. Whatever demonic otherkin and organized occult syndicates or octarine aura issues he has is all his problem now. I'd quit wondering, since it's not your fault, not your problem, and not your business anymore--you've just left an abusive relationship. I'd advise you to treasure this opportunity and just work on your own life now.

Well the reason I need to know while it is not my fault I was recently told by a friend that what my ex did was initiate me to Lucifer/Satan and that the light I seen was Lucifer's light and it is my business because in 2011 around October give or take my friend tried to commit suicide by standing on the train tracks he was not himself at all I pushed him out of the way and he ran after me and his cousin like he almost broke down the door and had scratches and such on him then I was told by a friend who is a Shaman and her brother was very good with the dark arts that my friend had made a pact with the devil (the words she used) for love and such and now he wants his due and I indirectly saved my friend not even knowing this an ever since then I have how shall we say I have been able to hear demonic voices when I am really mad.

Like for example my uncle is a very christian guy and he said that an experience i had out of body by the way, that I was on drugs when I do not do drugs at all and I told him that over and over and over to the point I was thinking "if you don't shut up I will cram your bible down your bleeping throat" then I heard a very dark demonic voice say "do you want me to do it?" I replied no the voice said "ok my lady" and that was that.

But the experience I had that I was telling him about it happened in 2009 I was really tired so I sat down in my chair indian style and I was noddding off when all of a sudden I am in this town half way across town and there is this "demon" there and he opens a portal in the wall and tells me to go so I get my courage and I step through nothing bad happens I come out in this large cavern there is red dust everywhere, there are demons everywhere like males, females, children and they are all staring at me there is a huge dog and cat there not like anything seen on earth, then there is a path which the demon who is leading tells me to go on then we come to what is a throne room and the throne is made of skulls there are demon guards all around and there is a man sitting there he had to be the most beautiful creature I had ever seen I could not stop staring at him he wore a crown, he was very tall, had a soft spoken voice kinda angelic, he wore this type of armor it was red and black very ancient I could tell, he did have horns but not like huge or anything.

Anyways he is sitting on this throne and the demon tells me to bow and I do so but with my right arm crossed over my chest/heart in a fist like a knight would do to the king. And he says "Welcome home my daughter, you are more then welcome to come here anytime, you may leave." then the demon tells me its time to go and we leave the way we came when I came to I had red dust all in my chair and that was 2 years before my ex ever did that thing with the light.

And I have never practiced Luciferianism or Satanism etc. But when I was 7 I seen this tall figure good 6-7 foot tall wide and muscular staring at me from our basement/storage room kinda freaked me out as I thought it was a real person as he was solid but then disappeared into thin air, yes I have seen the paranormal pretty much my  whole life but those 2 incidents who was that and what does it mean? Jw
« Last Edit: August 25, 2014, 05:59:56 pm by SunflowerP »
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Faemon

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2014, 10:24:36 am »
Quote from: Alasse;157043
those 2 incidents who was that and what does it mean?

You came on asking about what your ex did with an orange light when you already had an answer and explanation that you fully accept from your Shaman friends.

That makes me think that you've already got explanations of your own, for those two incidents, that satisfy you.

Cool story bro. Are you trying your writing skills out for a novel plot or something?
« Last Edit: August 25, 2014, 10:32:09 am by Faemon »
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Castus

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2014, 08:41:43 pm »
Quote from: Alasse;157027
But any answers are greatly appreciated!




Just a thought.
“Castus, meanwhile, goes straight for the bad theology like one of those creepy fish that swims up streams of pee.” — Darkhawk

“Believing in the Lord means you are connected to me no matter when you are poor, sick, or struggling in a relationship. I am always with you. I want you to believe that. The future is uncertain, and much suffering awaits. However, the mission of the believer is to live life doing their best, no matter what the circumstances.” — Ryuho Okawa

Alasse

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2014, 11:41:10 pm »
Quote from: Faemon;157048
You came on asking about what your ex did with an orange light when you already had an answer and explanation that you fully accept from your Shaman friends.

That makes me think that you've already got explanations of your own, for those two incidents, that satisfy you.

Cool story bro. Are you trying your writing skills out for a novel plot or something?

I was asking what other's thought that it meant since this is a place for pagans and the like. I did not say that I got explanations of my own that satisfy me if that were the case then I would not be here seeking answers. And no the "cool story bro" it is not a story it happened to me and no I am not trying my writing skills our for a novel plot of anything as I am not even writing a book so no idea what you are even implying but as I said before I am here for answers yes my shaman friend told me what she thought it was I wanted to confirm or deny what she told me and to figure out what my out of body experience meant.
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stephyjh

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2014, 12:16:50 am »
Quote from: Alasse;157103
I was asking what other's thought that it meant since this is a place for pagans and the like. I did not say that I got explanations of my own that satisfy me if that were the case then I would not be here seeking answers. And no the "cool story bro" it is not a story it happened to me and no I am not trying my writing skills our for a novel plot of anything as I am not even writing a book so no idea what you are even implying but as I said before I am here for answers yes my shaman friend told me what she thought it was I wanted to confirm or deny what she told me and to figure out what my out of body experience meant.

 
Honestly? Seeing things, hearing voices...I'd see a doctor, especially if you've been physically abused. I'd rule out mental or neurological health issues first, then look for supernatural explanations, because A. health problems happen and B. sometimes trauma manifests in unexpected ways.
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Faemon

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2014, 12:34:31 am »
Quote from: Alasse;157103
I am here for answers yes my shaman friend told me what she thought it was I wanted to confirm or deny what she told me and to figure out what my out of body experience meant.

 
You're demonic Otherkin of noble lineage and legions of hell are at your command, obviously. Your ex is the anti-Christ, more literally than everyone's exes are after a bad break. Happy now?

No, seriously. Every line of your posts are wrapped in this worldbuilding glamor that leaves nothing to discussion (like, you're so sure what a demon is when people who have researched the living concept of demons know that the word "demon" could refer to a myriad of concepts), coasts on cliché, and leads to an egoistic conclusion.

If there's a grain of truth in what you post, it's concealed in the congealed overpriced oyster snot of the story that you've told yourself about how it all works.
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Alasse

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2014, 12:50:26 am »
Quote from: stephyjh;157106
Honestly? Seeing things, hearing voices...I'd see a doctor, especially if you've been physically abused. I'd rule out mental or neurological health issues first, then look for supernatural explanations, because A. health problems happen and B. sometimes trauma manifests in unexpected ways.
Seeing things I have seen ghosts since I was 5 and I was not physically abused then either and hearing voices same thing since I was 5 and I was not physically abused. And oh ya went to a doctor few years back and guess what nothing wrong with me at all and I still see the ghosts and hear the voices and all I have is depress, anxiety and bipolar that is it so it is not from being physically abused, mental or neurological health issues they were ruled out years ago that is why I know it is supernatural as in it exists. Health problems sure they happen but have nothing to do with what I asked and trauma same thing.
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baduhmtisss

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2014, 01:54:37 am »
Quote from: Alasse;157111
Seeing things I have seen ghosts since I was 5 and I was not physically abused then either and hearing voices same thing since I was 5 and I was not physically abused. And oh ya went to a doctor few years back and guess what nothing wrong with me at all and I still see the ghosts and hear the voices and all I have is depress, anxiety and bipolar that is it so it is not from being physically abused, mental or neurological health issues they were ruled out years ago that is why I know it is supernatural as in it exists. Health problems sure they happen but have nothing to do with what I asked and trauma same thing.

To be perfectly honest, Bipolar is a mental issue, so is Anxiety and Depression. All of which can produce psychotic features, especially Bipolar (dependent on type and other such factors). So, you have health conditions that may or may not be contributing to this world building your mind has been doing. Yes, this is world building. I heavily suggest getting some treatment for your disorders (if you haven't already), and seeing if treatment fixes/lessens these experiences. Then, you have your answer about whether it is medical or not.
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Izzie414

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2014, 05:53:54 am »
Quote from: Raine;157114
To be perfectly honest, Bipolar is a mental issue, so is Anxiety and Depression. All of which can produce psychotic features, especially Bipolar (dependent on type and other such factors). So, you have health conditions that may or may not be contributing to this world building your mind has been doing. Yes, this is world building. I heavily suggest getting some treatment for your disorders (if you haven't already), and seeing if treatment fixes/lessens these experiences. Then, you have your answer about whether it is medical or not.

 
I agree with this one. As someone with bipolar disorder, the world building thing can and has happened. A lot of times, at least IME, it comes down to the psych determining what triggers the symptoms. But get it checked out by a psychiatrist, not a general physician. Just my two cents; I'm not a doctor.

PrincessAstrid

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2014, 10:20:25 am »
Quote from: Raine;157114
To be perfectly honest, Bipolar is a mental issue, so is Anxiety and Depression. All of which can produce psychotic features, especially Bipolar (dependent on type and other such factors). So, you have health conditions that may or may not be contributing to this world building your mind has been doing. Yes, this is world building. I heavily suggest getting some treatment for your disorders (if you haven't already), and seeing if treatment fixes/lessens these experiences. Then, you have your answer about whether it is medical or not.

Couldn't agree with this more. I have bipolar, and while mine has never manifested to the point of hearing/seeing things, I do world build a LOT which is why I became a writer. My ex, on the other hand, has bipolar that is so severe that he's actually schizoaffective. If you're not familiar with that, it means he has symptoms of schizophrenia AND bipolar, which is a nasty, nasty combination. I bring that up because anxiety and depression are very common with bipolar disorder, which you've mentioned having, and hallucinations, paranoia, and intense delusions are symptoms of schizophrenia. Basically, don't go to a general practitioner, go to a real, honest to god psychiatrist. GPs are NOT qualified to diagnose complex mental disorders accurately.

If the psychiatrist OKs you and says there's nothing wrong past normal levels of bipolar disorder, then go ahead and start looking for supernatural explanations for things. When I started seeing spirits, the FIRST thing I did was get my head checked out by a real psychiatrist. My psychiatrist ruled that my bipolar disorder had not worsened in severity and I was still just regular old bipolar without any psychotic symptoms.

Also, if you went when you were a minor, they wouldn't have diagnosed you with anything more severe than bipolar disorder. The reasoning behind this is the intense stigma that comes with mental illness in the USA. Getting an updated diagnosis as an adult is VERY important because they will do everything in their power to not label children as having anything even vaguely resembling psychosis of any sort. Same thing happened to my ex. His schizophrenia diagnosis did not come until after he turned 18, because the psychiatrists were so hesitant to slap that label on a child, despite the fact he'd been exhibiting clear signs of being schizoaffective since he was about seven or so.

It's VERY important to keep going back to a psychiatrist as things in your life change. If you have a mental disorder, getting updated diagnoses can really improve your quality of life by immeasurable amounts.
So yeah. Specialists. They matter.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2014, 10:23:36 am by PrincessAstrid »

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2014, 11:08:22 am »
Quote from: Izzie414;157118
I agree with this one. As someone with bipolar disorder, the world building thing can and has happened. A lot of times, at least IME, it comes down to the psych determining what triggers the symptoms. But get it checked out by a psychiatrist, not a general physician. Just my two cents; I'm not a doctor.

 
When I was in high school about a million years ago, one of the girls in our baby coven was bipolar and after a while she started coming up with some petty far out shit not unlike the OP there. I had no idea it was a common occurrence!

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2014, 11:18:03 am »
Quote from: Mama Fortuna;157140
When I was in high school about a million years ago, one of the girls in our baby coven was bipolar and after a while she started coming up with some petty far out shit not unlike the OP there. I had no idea it was a common occurrence!

 
It's actually super common. One of the things that can help, as the other mentioned, is figuring out what specifically triggers the compulsion to world build. If you can't remove the trigger, what a lot of psychiatrists and therapists recommend is either playing games/reading books/etc that are similar to the world building you're doing, or to write it out. That way you get to get the delusions out of your head in a safe and healthy manner. Very severe cases, however, they discourage this because in some cases, people have too much of a hard time distinguishing reality from fantasy and that can exacerbate the problem. It really comes down to having a good mental health practitioner by your side and being honest with them about everything. Mine suggested I write, since I already had a love of it, and it has helped immensely.

And to the OP, I'm not sitting here calling you crazy. I don't think anyone here is trying to attack or insult you. But it is very common, even among pagans, to think "hey, maybe seeing/hearing things isn't really a very normal thing and I should get it checked out to make sure it's not my brain being screwy", which is why everyone has pretty much suggested you go do that.

Izzie414

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Re: What did my ex do and what was that orange light?
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2014, 11:18:14 am »
Quote from: Mama Fortuna;157140
When I was in high school about a million years ago, one of the girls in our baby coven was bipolar and after a while she started coming up with some petty far out shit not unlike the OP there. I had no idea it was a common occurrence!

 
Also, I have a lot of internal chatter, including some that sound like demonic growls. But, I know what's causing it so I know what to expect. It's just part of disease with some.

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