The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Things have been rough for a while and I'd just like some guidance lately. I've lost someone recently that I was very close to due to cancer, and I've lost my childhood pets all within the same month. Aside from that, I've been struggling a lot at work (is this right for me? am I where I should be? should I go back to school? should I just continue with this job and see how far it goes?), along with struggling with a lot of other personal things, mainly a crushing loneliness I just can't seem to shake no matter how much time I spend with my friends. It's not due to mental disorders, I can say that without doubt (I am mentally disordered, but I have it under good control and I can tell the difference between situational and clinical problems; this definitely feels situational).

If anyone would like to help me out here and help me find some guidance or comfort, I would appreciate it. Thanks! PM me if you need more details.

First off I'd like to say I'm so sorry for your loss, you'll definitely be in my thoughts.
I can get you a tarot reading sometime tomorrow if you'd like.

Things have been rough for a while and I'd just like some guidance lately. I've lost someone recently that I was very close to due to cancer, and I've lost my childhood pets all within the same month. Aside from that, I've been struggling a lot at work (is this right for me? am I where I should be? should I go back to school? should I just continue with this job and see how far it goes?), along with struggling with a lot of other personal things, mainly a crushing loneliness I just can't seem to shake no matter how much time I spend with my friends. It's not due to mental disorders, I can say that without doubt (I am mentally disordered, but I have it under good control and I can tell the difference between situational and clinical problems; this definitely feels situational).

If anyone would like to help me out here and help me find some guidance or comfort, I would appreciate it. Thanks! PM me if you need more details.

 
You're in my thoughts as well, grief can be so overwhelming.

Thank you so much, I appreciate it, on both counts. Thank you.

Okay, here it is- I decided to go with a plain old Celtic cross spread. Sorry for the clutter in the picture. Also I hope you like cats, I’m using the Cat’s Eye Tarot

What covers you ( the main issue) – Three of Swords. Its hard to see in the picture, but the card depicts the pawprints of a cat who has come across a cottage but has been turned away. It suggests heartbreak and loneliness, which matches what you've said.

What crosses you (an obstacle) – the Queen of Swords. The Queen of Swords is a perceptive, logical, and unflinching card – the fact that she’s in this position makes me think you’re being mentally strong (which isn’t bad, of course) but maybe its distancing you from your emotions and interfering with your grieving process/contributing to your feelings of distance from others.

What’s behind you (past influence)- Five of Wands. The Five of Wands suggests restlessness and conflict/competition.  This might suggest there were some interpersonal conflicts in the past that might be contributing to the situation now.
Whats ahead of you (future influence) –Ace of Swords.  Aces are always exciting. This makes me think there will be an opportunity for a new mental/intellectual pursuit in your near future.

What’s below you (the foundation - hidden influences) – Queen of Pentacles. She’s all about practicality, motherliness and fertility. I think this means you’re in a fertile environment in your mundane life that’ll give you the stability to grow.

What lies above you (the potential in the situation) – The Ten of Cups. I was so happy to have this card here. It depicts complete love, belonging, and emotional security. It suggests that out of this situation there is a potential to regain these things in your life.

You – Knight of Wands. The Knight of Wands is someone who is bold and passionate. You have the power to take hold of any opportunities that come your way.

House (your environment) – Four of Swords. This suggests rest and thoughtfulness. Perhaps some people around you are preoccupied, and inactive in your life. This could be contributing to your loneliness too.

Hopes/Fears – Ten of Wands. In this card a cat is struggling to bring in a snake he’s caught. The number ten suggests an end to one cycle and the beginning of the other. This card could mean you are afraid of being burdened by or struggling to handle even good things (such as new opportunities or responsibilities in work/school, friendships, change etc.) as you move forward.

Outcome – Three of Cups. I’m so glad this is here. It’s about home, community and reciprocated affection.  The number three suggests growth, so it will probably happen as a result of a change or taking hold of one of the opportunities suggested in the other cards.

To summarize, right now you’re experiencing emotional pain (Three of Swords). You may be trying to be dispassionate to avoid these feelings(Queen of Swords), but it goes against your nature (Knight of Wands) and could actually be hurting you more. Some interpersonal conflicts could still be lingering from the past(Five of Wands), but there may be a new mental opportunity (be it school, or something else) in your near future (Ace of Swords). You’re in a good place financially or materially to grow or take advantage of this opportunity (Queen of Pentacles). There is the potential to overcome the situation, form relationships and feel loved (Ten of Cups). The people in your life now may be preoccupied, so they aren’t participating in your life maybe as much as they should (Four of Swords). You’re afraid that in the process of moving forward you could become overwhelmed (Ten of Wands) but in the end, your loneliness will end and the changes you’ve taken advantage of will give you a sense of community and friendship.

So sorry for the wall of text!

So sorry for the wall of text!