Author Topic: Prayer/energy request for just... EVERYTHING at this point. (Read 1159 times)

bowie · « **on:** August 18, 2014, 11:32:40 pm »

So... this summer has kind of just been every kind of awful.

I'd posted here a couple of times that my grandmother was dying and asked for energy/prayer, etc., and on the 7th of June, she passed away. That itself has been very hard on me. Just when I think I'm even starting to heal just a teeny tiny bit, I find a birthday card from her or the other day, I came across her phone number still in my phone and it hit me that I won't ever be able to call her again, and that I didn't call her enough when she was still here, and it's really just affecting me very strongly.

On top of that, I finally had to cut my father out of my life. He's been just a really terrible dad, walking out on me when I was nine, and just being a huge disappointment since, breaking promises and letting me down every time I put my faith in him. I just turned 22 last month and the number of times I have seen my dad since I was nine is definitely under twenty. I wrote him a really angry letter detailing exactly how hurt I was that even when he was in my life, he was never around. I told him I was cutting him out of my life. And he hit me back with this short message of, "You're right about some things but wrong about others. God bless you." And that was it. He didn't try to fight for me or our relationship or try to make it better, which honestly makes it a million times worse.

Add in some issues that have to do with my immediate future as I'm graduating in the spring and know what I want to do but have no idea how I want to get there, as well as feeling pretty damn worthless and unlovable lately... I'm basically just completely mentally drained. I go back to school on Saturday and I just have no idea yet how to get past how shitty this summer has been.

tl;dr my life is kind of a shambles at the moment. Any prayers and positive vibes and energy on my behalf is graciously requested and wholeheartedly accepted. Thank you.

Sisu · « **Reply #1 on:** August 18, 2014, 11:43:58 pm »

Quote from: bowie;156371

On top of that, I finally had to cut my father out of my life. He's been just a really terrible dad, walking out on me when I was nine, and just being a huge disappointment since, breaking promises and letting me down every time I put my faith in him. I just turned 22 last month and the number of times I have seen my dad since I was nine is definitely under twenty. I wrote him a really angry letter detailing exactly how hurt I was that even when he was in my life, he was never around. I told him I was cutting him out of my life. And he hit me back with this short message of, "You're right about some things but wrong about others. God bless you." And that was it. He didn't try to fight for me or our relationship or try to make it better, which honestly makes it a million times worse.

I'm really sorry you're going through all this; it definitely sounds overwhelming. I'm also going through something similar with my disappointment of a father (and it's especially bad when they're so dismissive). I'll light a candle for you.
((((((Bowie)))))))

bowie · « **Reply #2 on:** August 19, 2014, 12:50:38 pm »

Quote from: Sisu;156372

I'm really sorry you're going through all this; it definitely sounds overwhelming. I'm also going through something similar with my disappointment of a father (and it's especially bad when they're so dismissive). I'll light a candle for you.
((((((Bowie)))))))

Thank you so much. I'm sorry you're also going through something like that, Sisu. It is really a horrible thing to feel like you're an acceptable loss in the life of someone who is supposed to love and protect you your whole life. You're in my thoughts.