The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

This was the thing that bugged me the most about what they did. The shrine is entered via a little arched bridge that's about wide enough for 3-4 people to comfortably walk across at once. All 4 of them were spread out right at the midpoint, effectively blocking anyone who wanted to get in. They stood there, talking to each other and snapping pictures, blocking the walk.

I think you're absolutely right. What bugged me about these tourists was that they didn't even come over the bridge to look around and see what was actually inside. They just stood there and stared, and talked to each other loudly like it was just the craziest thing they'd ever seen. So I found their attitude disrespectful. I wouldn't have cared at all if they'd come in and looked at everything. That's just the Sarasvati girl in me, wanting people to learn, I think.

I just came back from there, since I always do a ritual on Sunday. It felt so wonderful to be there, and this time to actually worship. I bought incense and a fortune, and rang the bell. But I also am aware the other worshipers know I am a foreigner and an outsider. Yet I felt strangely welcomed. Nobody stared at me or gave me dirty looks, even when I went to the purification pavilion and attempted to rinse my hands (I was kind of embarrassed to see that this chapel/shrine has one; I wasn't looking for one, since it doesn't have a Torii, and I'd marked it down as Buddhist).

Still, I actually felt like my presence there was accepted, even welcomed as being...how to say it? Cute or sweet, perhaps. An elderly lady saw me wandering around, staring at the shrine itself with what must have been an awestruck expression. She looked me right in the face and gave a very warm smile. The whole trip was just worth it for that.

^^^ Disrespectful dumbassitude.  There's no real polite way to put it.  

I remember touring DC about a week after finishing high school.  Took pictures of everything... except the Vietnam memorial.  There were people taking rubbings of loved ones' names, others were leaning on the wall and openly weeping.  I didn't stay long.  Taking pictures would have been... voyeuristic and wrong.  Maybe not as wrong as an Auschwitz selfie, but still.

Absolutely; and since I saw no way to photograph the memorial without getting some or all of them in frame, I opted not to get a shot, choosing instead to respect them in their time of grief.  
Sadly, I can picture some idiot taking a selfie and capturing mourners in the shot.  

^^^ Disrespectful dumbassitude.  There's no real polite way to put it.  

I remember touring DC about a week after finishing high school.  Took pictures of everything... except the Vietnam memorial.  There were people taking rubbings of loved ones' names, others were leaning on the wall and openly weeping.  I didn't stay long.  Taking pictures would have been... voyeuristic and wrong.  Maybe not as wrong as an Auschwitz selfie, but still.

I think context is everything. Not all selfies I think are inherently disrespectful. It depends on the composition of the shot, the identity of the person, and how it's tagged on social media if it's even put up at all. The difference between "At the 9/11 memorial - first major crisis I remember as a kid - here to pay respects" and "lol omg bad hairday" is tremendous.

Also, what I mean about identity - I would feel more comfortable as a USonian taking a picture of myself at the 9/11 memorial than I ever would at the memorial for a place that has nothing to do with me. Such as the now infamous Auschwitz selfies. There's literally no connection for me there (beyond the connection of us all as human beings, of course) and so inserting myself as the center of a photo seems very... selfish to me.

I'm not sure how I can properly articulate this but I'll try. I would feel that capturing my grief and respect at a site like Auschwitz through taking a selfie is, in fact, selfish and turning the attention toward me, when in fact I had nothing to do with the place. It's not about my sad feelings as an USonian non-Jew 70 years after the fact. The fact I feel sad means jack shit.

As opposed to the 9/11 memorial - which is part of my national identity. I was 11 when 9/11 happened and it was my violent introduction into world politics. I just barely remember enough of the "old" America to be cognizant of how much things changed after the attacks. I feel in this case my grief or respect or whatever is already part of the narrative in a way it's just not at Auschwitz.

To contrast, though Pearl Harbor was an attack on American soil, because it happened so long ago I don't have the personal emotional connection to it. I'm a descendant of what that day meant of course, but it's not my story in the way I feel like 9/11 can be.

TL;DR - the closer one is to the actual thing being memorialized, the more latitude I think one has in what can and cannot be considered respectful behavior. Like hell if I'm gonna tell a NYC survivor of 9/11 what they can and can't do to process their grief, you know?